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Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 8:51 am
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Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:01 pm
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It's kind of hard to remember... I would swear that for the first twelve years of my life, I didn't have the same brain I do now.
Good lord.
Let's see... In the beginning, I was an atheist. If you ask me, we're all born atheist, and then the ridiculous concepts get put into our heads. I never went to church-- I've only been twice, and neither with my immediate family but with my grandparents-- but, as would be expected, I eventually got the concept of "God" in my skull.
I wasn't sure what to think of "God". For a while, I asked questions of myself that are almost exactly what I asked again during my atheist awakening a couple years ago-- which either suggests that I had a sense of reasoning far beyond my years, or that religion somehow inhibits your ability to think, judge, and criticize. I asked things along the lines of "Why is there no proof of 'God'?", "If 'God' made everything, who or what made 'God'?", and the like. Nevertheless, I held onto the concept, leaving me a kindergarten agnostic.
"God" wasn't a big part of my life for a long time. In fifth grade, when I was ten, the World Trade Center attacks occurred. Don't ask me why, I really don't understand it even today, because it goes against practically everything that's driven my life-- suddenly, I became immensely patriotic. I remember (with more than a little shame) hearing some radio station's jingle, "Portland's best coun-try", altered to "We love our coun-try", and I walked into my mom's room, all fakely morose, and explained it to my mom as if it were astonishing, and just amazing what patriotism we had.
Gah. Gives me the jibblies.
At any rate, I was suddenly insanely patriotic, and with the flame of patriotism, my belief in "God" suddenly flared-- probably due subconsciously to the phrase, "God Bless America". I couldn't remember exactly what that little prayer was that you said before you went to sleep, so I kinda improvised it, being sure that if I died before I woke, if my family and I died (you know, in case I wasn't there to pray for them) before we woke, if I died while I was awake, or if we died while awake, our souls would be covered. At the end, I'd throw in some kind of extra, usually for a girl to like me.
Blech.
That persisted for a while, about until I entered middle school. I wasn't really an agnostic for very long, and not very many memorable things marked that time period. The big thing was when, in something that almost seems crazy enough to be made up, I was doing my little bedtime prayer while at the same time thinking, "I don't believe in God." After a couple of months, I realized that this wasn't going to work, so I cut the crap somewhere during seventh grade, and stood proud as an atheist.
In short? I've been secure in my atheism for about two years, but I've got a long history of skepticism.
Wow, I write too much. Like anyone's gonna read that.
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Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:30 pm
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Southwest It's kind of hard to remember... I would swear that for the first twelve years of my life, I didn't have the same brain I do now. Good lord. Let's see... In the beginning, I was an atheist. If you ask me, we're all born atheist, and then the ridiculous concepts get put into our heads. I never went to church-- I've only been twice, and neither with my immediate family but with my grandparents-- but, as would be expected, I eventually got the concept of "God" in my skull. I wasn't sure what to think of "God". For a while, I asked questions of myself that are almost exactly what I asked again during my atheist awakening a couple years ago-- which either suggests that I had a sense of reasoning far beyond my years, or that religion somehow inhibits your ability to think, judge, and criticize. I asked things along the lines of "Why is there no proof of 'God'?", "If 'God' made everything, who or what made 'God'?", and the like. Nevertheless, I held onto the concept, leaving me a kindergarten agnostic. "God" wasn't a big part of my life for a long time. In fifth grade, when I was ten, the World Trade Center attacks occurred. Don't ask me why, I really don't understand it even today, because it goes against practically everything that's driven my life-- suddenly, I became immensely patriotic. I remember (with more than a little shame) hearing some radio station's jingle, "Portland's best coun-try", altered to "We love our coun-try", and I walked into my mom's room, all fakely morose, and explained it to my mom as if it were astonishing, and just amazing what patriotism we had. Gah. Gives me the jibblies. At any rate, I was suddenly insanely patriotic, and with the flame of patriotism, my belief in "God" suddenly flared-- probably due subconsciously to the phrase, "God Bless America". I couldn't remember exactly what that little prayer was that you said before you went to sleep, so I kinda improvised it, being sure that if I died before I woke, if my family and I died (you know, in case I wasn't there to pray for them) before we woke, if I died while I was awake, or if we died while awake, our souls would be covered. At the end, I'd throw in some kind of extra, usually for a girl to like me. Blech. That persisted for a while, about until I entered middle school. I wasn't really an agnostic for very long, and not very many memorable things marked that time period. The big thing was when, in something that almost seems crazy enough to be made up, I was doing my little bedtime prayer while at the same time thinking, "I don't believe in God." After a couple of months, I realized that this wasn't going to work, so I cut the crap somewhere during seventh grade, and stood proud as an atheist. In short? I've been secure in my atheism for about two years, but I've got a long history of skepticism. Wow, I write too much. Like anyone's gonna read that. I don't comment that often, but I read EVERYTHING that is posted in the guild. Glad you came around. Welcome to the truth.
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Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:11 pm
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 2:12 am
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 8:18 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:26 pm
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Becoming an atheist took me a long time.
First I looked around the church I was raised in and realized that I had nothing in common with these people. We didn't value the same things. I realized that there wasn't a single person among them who I felt much liking or respect for.
Furthermore, I noticed that there were doctrinal issues that I strongly disagreed with. And when I asked people about those issues, their answers were either that they didn't know, they hadn't thought about it, or else they said something racist or sexist as though god is as racist or sexist as them or as though racism and sexism is right.
Then I started looking around at other religions. None of them seemed too great to me. Lots of them looked great before I got too close, but the closer I looked, I found the same things as I'd found in my parents' religion.
Then I figured that I was too young and that I'd figure it out later. I thought maybe I was missing something.
Then I met a person who blogs about atheism. He has long logical arguments, religion in the news stories, and other useful things.
And it suddenly came to me, what I've heard others call their "The Emperor is Naked" moment. It suddenly seemed to me that as in the fairy tale, The Emperor's New Clothes, everyone makes excuses when religion doesn't work. So everyone thinks it works for everyone but them, or that it usually works. And I faced the fact that religion had never worked for me, and I faced the fact that there wasn't some secret that would come to me when I was older. I already knew everything I needed to know to know that it wasn't true or at least wasn't for me.
It was like a sudden clarity. It wasn't that I'd been doing it wrong all these years. It just didn't work. It had never worked.
But even so, it was a few years before I started calling myself an atheist.
But eventually, I made it over that hurdle, and here I am, happier than ever.
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Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 6:58 am
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Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 7:50 am
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Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:14 am
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[Subject to Availability]
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Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:47 am
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Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 2:06 pm
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