[FIN] Disappearance

[Suudonym]

He emoted an appropriate amount of surprise in reply, his brow furrowing as she continued to explain his situation. "That's... pretty wild," he replied, unsure of how he was meant to feel about it. It didn't feel like something that really affected him - though he supposed he would be in for a rude awakening if this 'nobility' business was actually a big part of his daily life. "I'm guessing this 'noble' stuff isn't too important, then?" he ventured hopefully. It was probably rather impolite of him to base his impression of things on whether or not they sounded convenient, but he wasn't sure what else he was supposed to use as a basis for evaluation at this point.

His surprise returned as she continued, doubled up with a building sense of guilt and shame. "That's--" 'That's impossible; I don't even know your name.' She didn't look like she wanted to hear something like that. He wrapped his arms lightly around his middle, minding the movements that caused his arm to ache, and frowned at the end of the bed. "I'm sorry." Was he this much of a jerk normally, he wondered, or was it just the amnesia?

The explanation she gave on what had happened earlier in the day was uncomfortable to listen to, despite the fact that it was as disconnected from his sense of self as a fairytale. Perhaps it was just because it was painful to imagine, but he didn't like thinking about it. "I think I don't really mind not knowing about that," he murmured.  

[Blood_Goddess]

She shook her head "Its never seemed to be. I think you're more annoyed by it then anything. Or I think I'm looking for inconvenienced." she admitted it with a little chuckle, though with a pause she fell quiet, reaching her hand up to run it through her hair, she couldn't help but feel that it was surreal that she was sitting here, telling Luke about himself.
"Its not a good impression of who you are anyway, just talking about your family, or your past, you're a good person who helps people, and work really hard at it too." she lifted a corner of her mouth, with a lighter expression. "I guess its a little hard to give you a good impression without staying up all night... and you're starting to look a little uncomfortable."

She didn't say anything to his apology, what exactly could she say about that. All she had right now was that hopefully he would come out of this soon, she had to believe that he would come out of this soon despite the growing ache and worry that was lingering in the back of her mind.
This wasn't permanent, this wasn't. He would be fine soon, and they could go on with their life.

She couldn't blame him for not wanting to know, as things stood, this all happened before he had been overwhelmed with shock the first time, no one would want to know about something so terrible... then again, much of Luke's life had been terrible.
She sat with her hand in her hair, leaning her elbow against the arm rest.  

[Suudonym]

He set his palms on the bed slightly behind him to stretch his shoulders, thinking through what she said with a thoughtful frown. "It doesn't really feel like you're talking about 'me' at all, to be honest," he said, his tone distant as he leaned back against the raised segment of the mattress. "The impression I have of myself, or rather, of the 'me' that came before me, is a real jerk, and a coward on top of it." His frown deepened with dissatisfaction and criticism, "He got upset and just went off somewhere, and he left his fiancee with an idiot who doesn't know anything about anything."  

[Blood_Goddess]

She didn't like the implication that she was talking to someone else, it was easy to think that this was still Luke... to her it was still Luke, how could she treat him any differently? He might not remember but it was still Luke... right?
Of course.
But at the same time, there was something so... un-luke about him. He didn't have the same gestures that Rosie had gotten used to, the way he wore his expression... there was no doubt that it was Luke's face, but something was just... off.

Rosie shook her head. "The Luke I know... if he had a choice he wouldn't have let this happen... The life you lead before this was hard, There have been more tragedies then any one person should have to live through, He- You... you..."

Rosie trailed off, lifting her head off of her hand. "... I'm sorry, I don't know how I should address you now... I mean... you're Luke, I've known you for years, and I just feel like... you're in there, I look at you and I can't help but talk to Luke. But, on your end... You don't know Luke, I can tell that you're having a hard time associate with him."
she linked her fingers tightly. "I don't know how I'm supposed to act in a situation like this. So uh... can I ask you... how you would rather I talk to you?"  

[Suudonym]

He folded his hands together and fidgeted with his thumbs, his brow knit. "I don't know... I mean, I know that I'm supposed to be Luke. I don't really know how something like memories can be 'lost,' but I at least understand that this amnesia stuff is a disorder. What I am right now is... It's not normal, I guess." He took in a breath and exhaled it quietly; it was far from comfortable to speak of his only perception of himself as a disorder and an abnormality. "I get the idea that I probably shouldn't try to separate myself from who I was before, but... it's just hard to hear about all this stuff that's apparently 'me' when I don't even know what my own face looks like."  

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie nodded gently, his input was helpful, even if it was difficult. It made her feel a little better that she wasn't the only one who didn't know what was going on.
It could be a good thing to talk to the doctor about tomorrow anyway... that is, if he didn't wake up okay, and back to normal by then.

She sat in silence for a couple of seconds as she listened to him, but at his last comment, she leaned forward slowly, reaching down to the side, where she had a bag sitting against the chair she was in.
A moment of digging around she pulled out a round folded pocket mirror.
Looking back at Luke as she sat up, she reached her hand out to offer it to him.
"Here."  

[Suudonym]

He accepted the object that was passed to him before he was fully aware of what it was, though it only took a moment's observation to identify it. He unlatched the case to open it, taking a moment to study the reflection that greeted him and marvel at how completely unfamiliar it was. "I don't know what I was expecting," he said with a shrug and half a breath's laugh, extending his hand to return the mirror. Despite the dismissive humor, the smile he wore was forced and painful, his shoulders stiffly squared and his hopeless misery poorly concealed. Nothing was familiar. Nothing connected. Even with someone right beside him, he felt desperately isolated. The idea that this could potentially go on forever, that this might become his only everyday, loomed over him like a dark wave on the verge of leaving him awash in a world of unknowing.  

[Blood_Goddess]

Taking the mirror back, Rosie let herself lean forward onto her elbows, turning the mirror around in her hands.
"Well, now you know what you look like, right?" She said, offering a small smile.

For whatever reason it seemed to put him in a more downward state.
".. Hey." She said quietly. "Look- I know its probably not worth a whole lot, but I'm sure it'll be okay." Rosie reached her hand out to touch his shoulder, trying to at least be some kind of reassurance "I know you don't remember, but you've made it through tough times before. I have hope that this time won't be any different."  

[Suudonym]

"Easier said," he replied, breathing out a deep sigh. He raised his knees slightly to rest his elbows upon them, covering his eyes with the heels of his palms. "I guess it has to work out one way or another... Worst case, I can just make new memories from here forward and hope it makes this weird... empty feeling go away eventually." He only realized after saying the words that was very likely not the scenario his company wanted to think about. Of course her hopes would be that his former self would reemerge, but it was just something that he couldn't even imagine. Anything that occurred before early that afternoon was sealed off behind a high wall, and he could envision no shape for what lie beyond it.  

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie blinked at his words, feeling a quick sinking feeling in her chest at the option he brought up. It was indeed not something that she wanted to think about.
She stood for a few moments, having no real way to respond to when he said, before she allowed a small smile to pass over her lips and she withdrew her hand, lowering herself back into her chair.
"That doesn't sound so terrible either." She said with her gentle smile in the hopes of trying to sound encouraging, if this didn't turn out the way Rosie believed it would, then it was all Luke had to look forward too, and who was she to take that away, when he already must be so scared.

She couldn't take that hope away from him, even if she felt like crying.  

[Suudonym]

He lifted his head from his hands, folding them together to rest his chin against; he wore an expression like a child who knew he had misbehaved but wasn't sure how to apologize. "Sorry. I'm just focusing on myself, aren't I?" he said, his words quiet. "It's just... It's hard to imagine remembering when I can't even think of everything there might be to remember. But I think-- I mean, that's definitely the best result. I don't know how much 'trying' can help with something like this, but I'll do what I can... or try to, at least."  

[Blood_Goddess]

She remained quiet for a few moments after he spoke, simply nodding to show that she understood, and at least heard him, even if it troubled her greatly.
"We'll give yout he best chance we can anyway, tomorrow, if this isn't any better we'll talk to the doctor about what to do next." She knew the doctor said that there really was no telling about how something like this would turn out. She was just having a hard time understanding, or accepting that he might not get his memories back.

She fell quiet again, glancing up after a few seconds had passed.
"Is it scary? Not knowing anything about who you are? what kind of things do you remember?"  

[Suudonym]

He gave a small, slow nod. It was scary not knowing, and not knowing what he didn't know, and thinking that he might remember but having no idea what he would remember. It was scary thinking that he had been attacked and wondering if there were people who hated him enough to want to attack him. It was scary not knowing how many people there were that knew him, or who they were, and that they would all have expectations of him to act like a person he didn't know hardly anything about.

"I sort of understand things I run into," he said, pushing aside the growing uneasiness before it took hold of him. "Like, once the doctor came in earlier, I sort of realized that this is a hospital, and I knew what a hospital is. General information like that. But it feels like all of my experiences started from earlier today... I can't think of any thoughts or feelings or events from earlier than this afternoon."  

[Blood_Goddess]

"I guess it would be hard to tell when you don't remember if you don't know what you've forgotten either." She concluded, realizing how silly of a question that must be. but it made her wonder how the brain treated memories,
"What about pokemon? Do you remember them?"  

[Suudonym]

"I think I know about them," he said, considering the topic. "Like, uhh... Aron and Umbreon, right? Pidgeot, Jolteon, uhh... Eevee? I don't know if I remember anything specific, but I can think of a few of the species off the top of my head."