Funny things...

[Platinum_Behemoth252]

i thought i already told it...or did i jst relive it in my head and think i told you...huh...oh well wutever.

Well it started like this.
Me and my family were going on a camping trip to some place near the coast i dont remember where. Well we had been on the road for about 2 hours when my dad decides to stop at a rest stop. Well everyone gets out to go do whatever but i was busy playing my gameboy...which back then was the newest and greatest. Well they all get back and we start driving off...well about 5 minutes later on the highway i look up and go "Dad? When are we gonna stop? i have to go pee bad." and he jst looks at me through the rear view mirror and says "God damnit mike we jst ******** stopped like 5 minutes ago and im not stopping again this soon. Here piss in this ******** bottle." so he hands me back this rootbear bottle, you know those glass ones. Well i move into the far back and proceed to whip it out to take a piss...well it jst so happens that back then my d**k was jst taperd enough so that the very very very tip would sit comfortable jst inside the bottle...well as im weeing my dad hits a bump and i fall forward jamming the bottle into my groin...now since it didnt hit my balls it didnt hurt that much but when i fell i also fell a pop sound...well i get up expecting to be covered in wee but nope no wee...and then i see why...well we all know who the head of a p***s is slightly flared...well that flare of the head is now jammed inside of the bottle...so i pull on it...nothing...so i pull harder and it only hurts...so now im in the back seat a bottle stuck on my d**k in a van with my family. i cant say anything to my dad he will jst make fun of the situation and even though its a funny situation im not in a good joking mood right then. so i jst try pulling and pulling and pulling. finally it pops off but wee also splashes out onto the back of the seat infront of me and onto my pants. So now i have a bruised rug burned d**k and wee all over the place...well i act like nothing happened put the cap on the bottle and set it in a safe place...well we are going jst a bit more till my dad smells the urine and thre the s**t hits the fan...after that its jst a lot of screaming and cursing...and then me cleaning up my own wee.  

[Phanaridie]

Platinum_Behemoth252

i thought i already told it...or did i jst relive it in my head and think i told you...huh...oh well wutever.

Well it started like this.
Me and my family were going on a camping trip to some place near the coast i dont remember where. Well we had been on the road for about 2 hours when my dad decides to stop at a rest stop. Well everyone gets out to go do whatever but i was busy playing my gameboy...which back then was the newest and greatest. Well they all get back and we start driving off...well about 5 minutes later on the highway i look up and go "Dad? When are we gonna stop? i have to go pee bad." and he jst looks at me through the rear view mirror and says "God damnit mike we jst ******** stopped like 5 minutes ago and im not stopping again this soon. Here piss in this ******** bottle." so he hands me back this rootbear bottle, you know those glass ones. Well i move into the far back and proceed to whip it out to take a piss...well it jst so happens that back then my d**k was jst taperd enough so that the very very very tip would sit comfortable jst inside the bottle...well as im weeing my dad hits a bump and i fall forward jamming the bottle into my groin...now since it didnt hit my balls it didnt hurt that much but when i fell i also fell a pop sound...well i get up expecting to be covered in wee but nope no wee...and then i see why...well we all know who the head of a p***s is slightly flared...well that flare of the head is now jammed inside of the bottle...so i pull on it...nothing...so i pull harder and it only hurts...so now im in the back seat a bottle stuck on my d**k in a van with my family. i cant say anything to my dad he will jst make fun of the situation and even though its a funny situation im not in a good joking mood right then. so i jst try pulling and pulling and pulling. finally it pops off but wee also splashes out onto the back of the seat infront of me and onto my pants. So now i have a bruised rug burned d**k and wee all over the place...well i act like nothing happened put the cap on the bottle and set it in a safe place...well we are going jst a bit more till my dad smells the urine and thre the s**t hits the fan...after that its jst a lot of screaming and cursing...and then me cleaning up my own wee.

Now that's an interesting story. I don't think I've ever heard of a man getting his p***s shoved into a bottle before, but now I have. I'll add that to my list of firsts.
Kinda reminds me of the time my ma and I both had to real bad on a road trip but it was one of those one person potties. My ma had to go real bad and so did I so she let me on the toilet first. However, she was unable to hold her liquid and so had to come into the bathroom and use the sink.
Now my ma isn't exactly without a figure. She's a bit over weight.........anyway, the sink broke off the wall. We never spoke about it for years. To anyone.  

[ZerimarObon]

Platinum_Behemoth252

i thought i already told it...or did i jst relive it in my head and think i told you...huh...oh well wutever.

Well it started like this.
Me and my family were going on a camping trip to some place near the coast i dont remember where. Well we had been on the road for about 2 hours when my dad decides to stop at a rest stop. Well everyone gets out to go do whatever but i was busy playing my gameboy...which back then was the newest and greatest. Well they all get back and we start driving off...well about 5 minutes later on the highway i look up and go "Dad? When are we gonna stop? i have to go pee bad." and he jst looks at me through the rear view mirror and says "God damnit mike we jst ******** stopped like 5 minutes ago and im not stopping again this soon. Here piss in this ******** bottle." so he hands me back this rootbear bottle, you know those glass ones. Well i move into the far back and proceed to whip it out to take a piss...well it jst so happens that back then my d**k was jst taperd enough so that the very very very tip would sit comfortable jst inside the bottle...well as im weeing my dad hits a bump and i fall forward jamming the bottle into my groin...now since it didnt hit my balls it didnt hurt that much but when i fell i also fell a pop sound...well i get up expecting to be covered in wee but nope no wee...and then i see why...well we all know who the head of a p***s is slightly flared...well that flare of the head is now jammed inside of the bottle...so i pull on it...nothing...so i pull harder and it only hurts...so now im in the back seat a bottle stuck on my d**k in a van with my family. i cant say anything to my dad he will jst make fun of the situation and even though its a funny situation im not in a good joking mood right then. so i jst try pulling and pulling and pulling. finally it pops off but wee also splashes out onto the back of the seat infront of me and onto my pants. So now i have a bruised rug burned d**k and wee all over the place...well i act like nothing happened put the cap on the bottle and set it in a safe place...well we are going jst a bit more till my dad smells the urine and thre the s**t hits the fan...after that its jst a lot of screaming and cursing...and then me cleaning up my own wee.

rofl
Okay, that is just plain wrong, but yet it is so funny!  

[Platinum_Behemoth252]

ZerimarObon

Platinum_Behemoth252

i thought i already told it...or did i jst relive it in my head and think i told you...huh...oh well wutever.

Well it started like this.
Me and my family were going on a camping trip to some place near the coast i dont remember where. Well we had been on the road for about 2 hours when my dad decides to stop at a rest stop. Well everyone gets out to go do whatever but i was busy playing my gameboy...which back then was the newest and greatest. Well they all get back and we start driving off...well about 5 minutes later on the highway i look up and go "Dad? When are we gonna stop? i have to go pee bad." and he jst looks at me through the rear view mirror and says "God damnit mike we jst ******** stopped like 5 minutes ago and im not stopping again this soon. Here piss in this ******** bottle." so he hands me back this rootbear bottle, you know those glass ones. Well i move into the far back and proceed to whip it out to take a piss...well it jst so happens that back then my d**k was jst taperd enough so that the very very very tip would sit comfortable jst inside the bottle...well as im weeing my dad hits a bump and i fall forward jamming the bottle into my groin...now since it didnt hit my balls it didnt hurt that much but when i fell i also fell a pop sound...well i get up expecting to be covered in wee but nope no wee...and then i see why...well we all know who the head of a p***s is slightly flared...well that flare of the head is now jammed inside of the bottle...so i pull on it...nothing...so i pull harder and it only hurts...so now im in the back seat a bottle stuck on my d**k in a van with my family. i cant say anything to my dad he will jst make fun of the situation and even though its a funny situation im not in a good joking mood right then. so i jst try pulling and pulling and pulling. finally it pops off but wee also splashes out onto the back of the seat infront of me and onto my pants. So now i have a bruised rug burned d**k and wee all over the place...well i act like nothing happened put the cap on the bottle and set it in a safe place...well we are going jst a bit more till my dad smells the urine and thre the s**t hits the fan...after that its jst a lot of screaming and cursing...and then me cleaning up my own wee.

rofl
Okay, that is just plain wrong, but yet it is so funny!

i thought it was painful at the time...
and Phanari...i can see why you wouldnt have spoken of it...
its ******** hilarious!  

[Platinum_Behemoth252]

Oh my friend jst brought a funny thing to my attention.
We should stop calling Lesbians "carpet munchers" and start calling them "linolium lickers" since most women shave now. XD  

[Phanaridie]

Platinum_Behemoth252

Oh my friend jst brought a funny thing to my attention.
We should stop calling Lesbians "carpet munchers" and start calling them "linolium lickers" since most women shave now. XD

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I whole-heartedly agree. That's frakin hilarious!  

[chubby_choco]

Platinum_Behemoth252

Oh my friend jst brought a funny thing to my attention.
We should stop calling Lesbians "carpet munchers" and start calling them "linolium lickers" since most women shave now. XD

Only one problem with your assessment.

'Carpet muncher' refers to anyone who gives oral sex to a woman. If a pair of lesbians do not engage in such activity, they're obviously not carpet munchers or linoleum lickers.

But it IS a funny idea.  

[Miroku2235]

:bows: thank you for finding my little insight amusing  

[Phanaridie]

chubby_choco

Platinum_Behemoth252

Oh my friend jst brought a funny thing to my attention.
We should stop calling Lesbians "carpet munchers" and start calling them "linolium lickers" since most women shave now. XD

Only one problem with your assessment.

'Carpet muncher' refers to anyone who gives oral sex to a woman. If a pair of lesbians do not engage in such activity, they're obviously not carpet munchers or linoleum lickers.

But it IS a funny idea.

True true. But if gay men are butt buddies, then what can we use for women? And what if some gay men only give hand jobs to each other or oral sex. Then are they not butt buddies? Where is this imaginary line drawn! I'M SO CONFUSED! ::head spins:: ^_~  

[Platinum_Behemoth252]

Found something since i couldnt sleep...

http://usvscan.ytmnsfw.com/

made me smile...sort of...  

[chubby_choco]

Jeez...these conversations could get us banned form Gaia in a heartbeat... sweatdrop But they're so much fun!!  

[sabre_sword]

If you don't tell I won't. ^_~  

[chubby_choco]

Nope, nope. No tattle-tail here. Mah lips iz sealed. xp  

[ZerimarObon]

Like I'd tell anybody, I'd be criminalizing myself too.  

[Phanaridie]

Yeah. And then we wouldn't have this lovely lil' outlet for our sick feelings.