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 Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:56 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:58 pm
whatser_name Kailen Harkonnen The oatmeal I'm eating is mediocore (eh..sp?)...What should I do! On a more serious note, I haven't seen my girlfriend in over a month. emo I'll get to see her in two days but only for a week. Her family's crazy and she's kinda between homes right now. My parents (well, actually, my mom) say that she can't stay for more than a week, even with these circumstances. It's kinda ridiculous. Do you have any suggestions on how I can maybe convince them to let her stay a little longer? D; For starters, do your parents know that you two are dating?
That may sway their opinion a lot.
Being completly honest with your parents is the best policy.
Even if the results aren't what you want right away, it's better in the long run.
So it's just your mom that is against it?
If you have your dad on your side, talk to him about it.
And see if he will help you sway your mom.
Or he could possibly figure out a better way to get to her on how important this is to you and your girlfriend.
If your dad wont help, talk to your mom.
Present a good debate on why your girlfriend should stay.
If that doesn't work, wait until she comes for that week.
Then have her try and explain to your mom on how bad she has it.
Now I don't know her situation, but it seems that if it's as bad as you say it is, your mom will have to give in. I'll give you her situation in as much of a nutshell as I can. Her mom's abusive, and her dad doesn't really care (he doesn't live with them), she went to her aunt's for a while while her mom was looking for a house, and her aunt's paranoid. She's now at her uncle's house, and they do a lot of drugs, apparently (mostly pot). And that's about it. I don't think my dad cares one way or the other if she comes over, but if my mom doesn't want her to, he'll usually side with her. Neither of my parents know we're dating, though my brother does. I know my mom wouldn't really approve and it might ruin her chances of coming over at all. My mom thinks that homosexuals are "disgusting". I will try to talk to my mom about it, but she seems like she's got her mind pretty much made up. I'll probably end up telling her we're dating after I move out. I wouldn't want my mom to make her sleep on the couch. I like cuddling. >>
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:05 pm
Kailen Harkonnen I'll give you her situation in as much of a nutshell as I can. Her mom's abusive, and her dad doesn't really care (he doesn't live with them), she went to her aunt's for a while while her mom was looking for a house, and her aunt's paranoid. She's now at her uncle's house, and they do a lot of drugs, apparently (mostly pot). And that's about it. I don't think my dad cares one way or the other if she comes over, but if my mom doesn't want her to, he'll usually side with her. Neither of my parents know we're dating, though my brother does. I know my mom wouldn't really approve and it might ruin her chances of coming over at all. My mom thinks that homosexuals are "disgusting". I will try to talk to my mom about it, but she seems like she's got her mind pretty much made up. I'll probably end up telling her we're dating after I move out. I wouldn't want my mom to make her sleep on the couch. I like cuddling. >> Well pot isn't all that bad.
It doesn't make people go crazy like some other drugs.
But I can understand how she wouldn't want to be around it.
Expecially because it's illegal.
But it is better than being abused by her mother.
I would see how you don't want to tell your mom.
I'm bisexual, and I havn't told my parents for the same reason as you.
If you really want to help your girlfriend, then you're going to have to talk some sense into your mom.
For now, be thankfull that they're giving her a week to stay.
Maybe if that week goes really well, your mom will change her mind.
Hopefully.
But until then, be thankfull that your girlfriend isn't with her abusive mother currently, and she will be out of her uncle's pot-filled home for a week.
What's wrong with her aunt though?
Why she is paranoid?
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:16 pm
whatser_name Kailen Harkonnen I'll give you her situation in as much of a nutshell as I can. Her mom's abusive, and her dad doesn't really care (he doesn't live with them), she went to her aunt's for a while while her mom was looking for a house, and her aunt's paranoid. She's now at her uncle's house, and they do a lot of drugs, apparently (mostly pot). And that's about it. I don't think my dad cares one way or the other if she comes over, but if my mom doesn't want her to, he'll usually side with her. Neither of my parents know we're dating, though my brother does. I know my mom wouldn't really approve and it might ruin her chances of coming over at all. My mom thinks that homosexuals are "disgusting". I will try to talk to my mom about it, but she seems like she's got her mind pretty much made up. I'll probably end up telling her we're dating after I move out. I wouldn't want my mom to make her sleep on the couch. I like cuddling. >> Well pot isn't all that bad.
It doesn't make people go crazy like some other drugs.
But I can understand how she wouldn't want to be around it.
Expecially because it's illegal.
But it is better than being abused by her mother.
I would see how you don't want to tell your mom.
I'm bisexual, and I havn't told my parents for the same reason as you.
If you really want to help your girlfriend, then you're going to have to talk some sense into your mom.
For now, be thankfull that they're giving her a week to stay.
Maybe if that week goes really well, your mom will change her mind.
Hopefully.
But until then, be thankfull that your girlfriend isn't with her abusive mother currently, and she will be out of her uncle's pot-filled home for a week.
What's wrong with her aunt though?
Why she is paranoid? My mom does like my girlfriend, though, but since I would take days off my job in order to see her for the weekend (she wasn't allowed to come over if I was working, even if it was only a 4 or 5 hour shift) she got amd at me. I've got no clue why her aunt is paranoid, but it's about stupid things. My girlfriend was supposed to come over on the 4th of July and her aunt told her she couldn't because someone might blow up the train. Which makes no sense. And her aunt is now refusing to move in with mygirlfriend's mom and her, because she thinks that my girlfriend's mom wants her there for her money. Which is true in a way, since they were going to move in together to make paying bills and things easier, but it's certainly not the only reason. And yeah, I'm not saying pot's that bad, but she doesn't want to be around it. And I am glad that she won't be around all the s**t she has to deal with. It's just driving me crazy that there's not more I can do. At least not until I turn 18 (in about 10 months). I plan on moving out and moving in with her and her mom, getting a job, and helping them out. :< (Yes I will put my life on hold for someone I love. ; ~; ) I'll have to either transfer schools or drop out completely to do that, though I will more than likely transfer schools. 10 months just seems like a really long time right now.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:31 pm
I wish you luck with your situation, Kailen...
And, whatser_name, I believe Sergie asked those questions before because she wanted to see what kinda of life experiences you had and what might affect your advice-giving (i.e. the religion).
Well, um, yeah then...
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:31 pm
Kailen Harkonnen My mom does like my girlfriend, though, but since I would take days off my job in order to see her for the weekend (she wasn't allowed to come over if I was working, even if it was only a 4 or 5 hour shift) she got amd at me. I've got no clue why her aunt is paranoid, but it's about stupid things. My girlfriend was supposed to come over on the 4th of July and her aunt told her she couldn't because someone might blow up the train. Which makes no sense. And her aunt is now refusing to move in with mygirlfriend's mom and her, because she thinks that my girlfriend's mom wants her there for her money. Which is true in a way, since they were going to move in together to make paying bills and things easier, but it's certainly not the only reason. And yeah, I'm not saying pot's that bad, but she doesn't want to be around it. And I am glad that she won't be around all the s**t she has to deal with. It's just driving me crazy that there's not more I can do. At least not until I turn 18 (in about 10 months). I plan on moving out and moving in with her and her mom, getting a job, and helping them out. :< (Yes I will put my life on hold for someone I love. ; ~; ) I'll have to either transfer schools or drop out completely to do that, though I will more than likely transfer schools. 10 months just seems like a really long time right now.
Well her aunt seems like someone that she can safely live with though.
Sometimes a worried type of paranoid is good sometimes.
I mean, you wont be able to see her as much, but she'll be safe.
I know you want to do more for her.
But you can't right now.
The most you can really do, is try and persuade your a** off to your parents and hope they cave.
For now you just need to be there for her emotionally.
Sometimes that's enough to get someone through tough things.
I don't get something though.
When you turn 18 you're going to move into her abusive mother's house?
Why don't you two move out together?
I don't see you both living with an abusive parent a solution.
And dropping out of school isn't good either.
I know you want to help her, but you can't give up your life.
Try your hardest to just transfer.
I mean maybe taking a break off and saving would help.
But you have to go eventually.
Or you'll just regret it.
But remember one thing.
If you really love her, do what's going to be good for her.
Not neccessarily what's going to be good for your relationship.
Maybe her living with you would be better.
But maybe living with her aunt would be better for her.
Now I don't know the whole story, and I don't know the whole situation personally.
But I do know that you have to concider what's best for the both of you.
And put your priorities (Long-term and short-term) into perspective.
Now I have to go for the night.
It's 2:30 already and I have to get up early.
I hope what I said helped.
If you still need to talk, or need more adivce, feel free to post more in here, or PM me.
And I'll get back to you as soon as I can tomorrow.
Good night.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:34 pm
Frozen Memories I wish you luck with your situation, Kailen... And, whatser_name, I believe Sergie asked those questions before because she wanted to see what kinda of life experiences you had and what might affect your advice-giving (i.e. the religion). Well, um, yeah then... Ah, that's what I assumed.
I know I'm only 16, but that doesn't mean I don't have advice.
I may not have experienced the situations first-hand, but that doesn't mean I don't know people who have.
Religion isn't a factor in my advice.
But I am a very open-minded person, and I don't judge people.
Plus, this isn't just my advice.
Anyone can give advice to people who post here.
Thank you for clearing that up Frozen. :3
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:39 pm
It's no problem, whatser_name. Good night.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:50 pm
whatser_name
Well her aunt seems like someone that she can safely live with though.
Sometimes a worried type of paranoid is good sometimes.
I mean, you wont be able to see her as much, but she'll be safe.
I know you want to do more for her.
But you can't right now.
The most you can really do, is try and persuade your a** off to your parents and hope they cave.
For now you just need to be there for her emotionally.
Sometimes that's enough to get someone through tough things.
I don't get something though.
When you turn 18 you're going to move into her abusive mother's house?
Why don't you two move out together?
I don't see you both living with an abusive parent a solution.
And dropping out of school isn't good either.
I know you want to help her, but you can't give up your life.
Try your hardest to just transfer.
I mean maybe taking a break off and saving would help.
But you have to go eventually.
Or you'll just regret it.
But remember one thing.
If you really love her, do what's going to be good for her.
Not neccessarily what's going to be good for your relationship.
Maybe her living with you would be better.
But maybe living with her aunt would be better for her.
Now I don't know the whole story, and I don't know the whole situation personally.
But I do know that you have to concider what's best for the both of you.
And put your priorities (Long-term and short-term) into perspective.
Now I have to go for the night.
It's 2:30 already and I have to get up early.
I hope what I said helped.
If you still need to talk, or need more adivce, feel free to post more in here, or PM me.
And I'll get back to you as soon as I can tomorrow.
Good night.
I'd be moving in with her until she turns 18, because she actually just turned 17 on the fifteenth. It's a temporary solution, mostly because her mom is somehow more accepting of our relationship than I know mine would be. As soon as I can drive (another factor that complicates our situation) I'll be getting a job, and pretty much just saving every scrap of cash I get so that I can move out asap after turning 18. This past month of not seeing her has kind of been an unwanted break. All it's really done is make me see how much I miss her. Probably seems silly, that at 17 years old we know we love each other, but we've known each other since first grade, and I know that even if our relationship doesn't work out, our friendship will continue. Thus, moving in together would be ideal. I know dropping out is a very bad idea, and trust me, it's a last resort. Since I'll be 18 when I ask for transfer papers, I won't even have to ask my parents (who might refuse to sign them if they don't want me to go). I've thought about it pretty deeply, and I realize what bad things could happen, and I've taken those things into account. I appreciate your advice and I hope you have a good night. :3 I look forward to further bits of wisdom from you and anyone else who has any. Also, @ Frozen Memories: Thanks. =]
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:57 pm
It's no problem.... Hmmm, I don't have much advice on this situation, but, perhaps I can help... a little...
First off, you said you don't know how to drive yet. Is there anyone who can teach you? Like, a relative or something, if your parents won't teach you? Having that license will made your life much simplier...
Second, are you certain your girlfriend's mother will allow you to even move in? What if she refuses to allow you to move in at the last minute? Is there some sort of back up plan you guys have?
Speaking of family, have you talked to your brother at all about any of this? He could be able to give some good advice to you too, since he knows the situation and all.
Er, that wasn't really advice, that was questioning, but... um... yep.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:07 am
Frozen Memories It's no problem.... Hmmm, I don't have much advice on this situation, but, perhaps I can help... a little... First off, you said you don't know how to drive yet. Is there anyone who can teach you? Like, a relative or something, if your parents won't teach you? Having that license will made your life much simplier... Second, are you certain your girlfriend's mother will allow you to even move in? What if she refuses to allow you to move in at the last minute? Is there some sort of back up plan you guys have? Speaking of family, have you talked to your brother at all about any of this? He could be able to give some good advice to you too, since he knows the situation and all. Er, that wasn't really advice, that was questioning, but... um... yep. Questioning's not bad. x3 It makes me think. And my dad would be willing to teach me to drive, but he works a lot and the post office has my birth certificate. Meaning I can't even go and attempt to get my permit. The post office has my birth certificate because I was getting a passport. My girlfriend's mom would let me move in, though there's no saying she won't randomly change her mind. (Her words when my girlfriend asked her, "But isn't she afraid of me?" Lol.) I haven't talked to my brother mostly because he hasn't even been home for the past couple weeks. He's house sitting for my grandmother, and he works, so I wouldn't even know when I could call him. Did that answer your questions? x3
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:14 am
Yeah, it did. All but the back up plan question. x3
Well, I believe you can go to your city/town/village hall and request a new copy, a notorized one, for a small fee. I don't know how long they take to get it to you, though.
As for everything else... Well, then, I'm sorry about you not being able to contact your brother. Perhaps is there anyone else at all you can ask? Family, friends, anyone you can ask for advice or help from?
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:23 am
Frozen Memories Yeah, it did. All but the back up plan question. x3 Well, I believe you can go to your city/town/village hall and request a new copy, a notorized one, for a small fee. I don't know how long they take to get it to you, though. As for everything else... Well, then, I'm sorry about you not being able to contact your brother. Perhaps is there anyone else at all you can ask? Family, friends, anyone you can ask for advice or help from? Oh, back up plan. Well my back up plan is staying at my house. x3 Either that or, if my brother's moved out by the time I can, I may move in with him if he would let me. We get along really well. I'll get my birth certificate back eventually, and until then I'm studying the DMV book. (I failed the test 3 times.. ; ~; My parents for some reason think that means I don't want it. If I didn't want it I wouldn't even try for it, lol.) And my friends are kinda lame. x3 I wouldn't want to bother them with my problems, because somehow they're hitting their collective "oh my gosh my life is horrible" emo stage of their life. I hit that when I was 13 and now I'm a bit of an insufferable optimist. x3 My family sucks. I'm not close to either of my aunts or uncles, my grandmother is out of town but doesn't really care about anyone else's problems anyway. The only person I can really talk to is my brother. I'll probably just end up leaving a message on his cell phone or something.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:40 am
Ah, well then. I wish you luck with everything. x3 I can't really give any advice... Eh, my questions were to help you figure out the little details, since they can add up to failure if you don't pay attention to them. I hoped I helped at least a little bit. sweatdrop
As for the friends... oh god, not the emo state. Thankfully, my various friends went through it at various times... Though that's still annoying as hell. It's annoying when you must listen to your friend's petty issues... (I mean petty such as, oh geez, my eyeshadow doesn't match my outfit. Oh god, I hate myself, type of petty.)
Well, I'm done ranting now. Again, good luck with everything. ^^
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:47 am
Frozen Memories Ah, well then. I wish you luck with everything. x3 I can't really give any advice... Eh, my questions were to help you figure out the little details, since they can add up to failure if you don't pay attention to them. I hoped I helped at least a little bit. sweatdrop As for the friends... oh god, not the emo state. Thankfully, my various friends went through it at various times... Though that's still annoying as hell. It's annoying when you must listen to your friend's petty issues... (I mean petty such as, oh geez, my eyeshadow doesn't match my outfit. Oh god, I hate myself, type of petty.) Well, I'm done ranting now. Again, good luck with everything. ^^ Thanks. x3 My friends aren't that bad, but they blow things out of proportion which is very irritating. Anyway, questions being asked do help me think. :3 So thank you for that. surprised
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