The OOC Hangout Thread (New people introduce yourself here!)

[Mou]

Okay, skip if you don't want to read emo s**t, I have a feeling this post is going to be long... I've just had a really bad weekend, seems like my shitty summer is turning into a ******** shitty whole year and life.

Edit: Also this post is full of gramatical errors and typos etc, but at 4am I really don't have the energy to go through the whole post and correct it all. I simply don't care about it.

I found out today that I actually hit my friends boyfriend yesterday... slapped him, I mean how extreme isn't that? I don't remember this myself, since those two absinthe shots and various other 10+ drinks pretty much created those blank slots in my memory I often have and often even love, believe it or not. I know I defend my friends furiously, but isn't this just a bit too much. Not only did I slap him, but I said lots of nasty things too. All I remember is that he said something that just made me furious, he's good at that since he's a total a*****e when drunk.

Other than that I today tried to get drunk again and forget yesterday's s**t, but failed. Yes failed at getting drunk, believe it or not. After 3 shots and a bottle of whine + various other drinks I just gave up, they didn't affect me in any way even though I tried very hard. Pretty much proves how much I've been drinking lately and how shitty I've been feeling, since the more I'm bored and the more I'm feeling down, the more I drink.

Something you realize when you spend an evening sober with your drunk friends is how boring they are. Horrible isn't it? The reason they are boring is probably because they've grown up while I've been stuck on this immature level for far too long. They really are no fun at all, they just whine too much, there is seriously zero creativity and no ******** way they'd actually ever try something new... because you know, that would just be too shocking. It gets frustrating when I've been stuck in this bloody small town all my life and all my best friends are slowly moving away. Those that aren't moving away have a boyfriend that they live together with and pretty much play husband and wife with, no play no fun all work. Wtf am I going to do?

Being sober in a bar also has other disadavantages, you actually see clearly how disgusting it all is. I've known it before, but ignored it by pouring down some more drinks, but sober it's hard not to pay attention to it. Drunk guys are unatractive even when you're drunk, when you're sober they're just horrifying and scary. You also feel really lonely, even though you've surrounded yourself with loads of friends, it just feels like you're a complete outsider no matter what. Something I also noticed is that I've grown tired of hitting on guys, it's just not fun anymore, it's all so meaningless. The few guys I actually agree to date after a one night stand often turn out really boring... and even if they aren't boring, I just freak out when they try to get to know me and get closer. I hardly ever let mmy guard down with my friends, in fact I doubt a single one of my friends truelly knows me, so how can I let my guard down to some stranger?

My worst fear is being left alone, which is why I surround myself with loads and loads of friends... but in the end I always feel lonely anyways. I try to ignore it as much as I can, but I still wake up feeling lonely and go home feeling lonely. Self-pity is disgusting and I always beat myself up for feeling sorry for myself since I think it's ugly, but being the self destructive me as I am I can always find something to dwell about. It's really interesting how someone can deliberately do so much damage to oneself on purpose. It's almost as I'm looking for a reason to slice my own wrists (I don't do that kind of stuff though, so don't worry). The worse I feel, the more I pour crap over myself, such an evil circle.

Hmm... yes, always feels good to get stuff out of the system, writing it down is a good way to toss s**t away and forget about it. Forgetting stuff and just pushing them under the carpet is unfortunately my way to deal with things, don't know another way to deal with crap. Well, don't really know why I'm writing it here, since I don't want pity or advise or any comments whatsoever, but I think that the egocentric me wouldn't be able to accept me writing things down only on my own computer... it wouldn't be enough, so I have to torment you. Besides, if I write it down here I don't have to see it anymore after one or two days. Also the people here only know the online me and would probably not even recognize the real me, so it doesn't matter anyways.

Whew, some bad stuff out of thr system, now to deal with the rest... I leave it for another day. Back to the wonderful happy life of Teresa, where I'm a smiling face and a happy crazy partyer.  

[Skreemer]

I'll have a look Trowa. It sounds pretty good.
Also, more ideas for my rp. everyones name references the colour of their side. For example Mano Negra, Marco Blanc. And each side has unique weapons and devices.  

[Mirouni]

Your name is Teresa? Coolio, that's a nice name. 3nodding
Sorry you're having a hard time.. I know you didn't really expect/want any comments, but yea, I'm totally commenting, lol.
I know that technically I don't know you all to well, even the online you. sweatdrop
In fact, the sum of what I do know consists of three things.
1.) you collect OoC art. (I believe this is true..)
2.) your name is Teresa. (This is new, xd )
3.) Tana loves you. (no idea whether or not this is true, but I like to poke fun at Tana, lol.)
Anywhos.. since you don't want advice... Let me just say that it'll all work out in the end, and until then, party like a rock star. (But don't OD on drugs. tehe)
*huggles*
Hope your summer gets better Mou-chan!  

[dragon-talk]

*has no idea what's going on and is totally and extremely lost* sweatdrop  

[Tanakietsu]

I...er...at one time, maybe yes (Not that it means anything at all). But we're just aquaintances via gaia, nothing more. s**t like that doesn't work, there are only a couple things in common we have apart from everyone else in the guild and it makes me feel a little more comfortable talking to Mou, but that's that.
---
I wish there was a way to console you, Mou. But you've pretty much hit the nail straight on the head this time. There's nothing anyone but yourself can do, and the fact that it's here is a great thing because it will, of course be buried into a large pile of s**t that cumulates by random consecutive posting.

The only thing I can say similarly is something no-one here would believe (except perhaps my darling little 'sister') so I wont even bother saying it.

So - drink on, dear.  

[Mirouni]

I know Tana-kun. I was mostly speaking friendship-wise anyways. sweatdrop
Come sta?  

[Tanakietsu]

No foul, no worries. n_n
---
I'm doing pretty well, though I seem to be having symptoms of what I think is withdrawl from caffeine. All those Red Bulls in a condensed period could not have been healthy. n_n

How are you?  

[Skreemer]

Dont worry Tana. Thats normal for me.  

[Tanakietsu]

I'm just a little worried, I've always only experienced nicotine withdrawl. Caffeine withdrawl is a little different and I've got some goosebumps. Nothing major. n_n  

[Trowa The Fearless]

All I will say, Mou-chan (since I didn't read your post), is that you're a cool person in my book. heart  

[Mirouni]

Eh, I'm pretty good, tired though.
I definitely know how the withdrawl feels... lol.
As for it not being healthy.. not to sure, mostly just hard on the body. (Just don't try it with redline, it'll mess ya up.)
The feeling will pass. Try taking a shot or drinking juice.  

[Tanakietsu]

I've decided for a week no drinks. It will be hard but I will prevail (and probably double in nicotine intake).

I'll be fine in a couple minutes. n_n  

[Mirouni]

You say you had redbull?
Hmm.. Idk about trying a week.. I did once, not fun after that much caffiene. I shook a lot, lol.
I doubt it's as bad as nicotine withdrawl though.  

[Tanakietsu]

I've broken three toes because of withdrawl. n_n
---
Who cares about withdrawl if there's something else hurting worse!? Doctor scolded me, though I remember a comment of admitting how controlled it was that I didn't brake something more convenient to the situation like one of my hands. I showed real er, what's the word..."pathetic character". n_n
---
Anyway. *plays some more pokemon*  

[Trowa The Fearless]

Oh! I almost forgot! Tana-kuuuuun!! *gluggles* Hi there! n_n