Falvenger Hall of Books

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Pains

Play me a mournful tune organ player.
Make my heart weep just as my eyes already do,
And make me take hold of my dagger once more,
To cut the number of tears into my flesh.

Make me feel again,
Let me be happy again.
Let the pain drip out of my veins,
So I can smile at a new day.

Force me to shake with fury
Against the unjust world,
So I won't blame the wrong people again,
So I won't blame myself again.

Play a ballad worthy of a dance
So I can be filled with light again,
Instead of this deepening darkness.
Lead me into the light.

I'm so numb,
But I'll be warm again.
It will all be well in the end,
When I'm done draining it all away.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

I'm Done

So you say I am false?
So you think I don't know?
I can't trust you anymore,
I can no longer love you.

How dare you say "I love you!"
You refuse to call me,
And yet I am the one in guilt?
Well ******** you too!

What do you want from me?
I think you just want to toy with me,
And it takes a real man to see
That you just want to use me!
Get the hell away from me!

I'm done being a puppet,
And I'm done being alone.
So it's alright,
And it is all so wrong.
Just live in your imaginary truth,
And I'll see you in Hell.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Raise a Fist to God and Human

Embrace the void as you call to the night,
And mourn the fading of the light.
Lick the tears and rejoice
For this is life.

I scream at the Heavens and the Hells,
"I am the Light that leads to Darkness,
I am the sorrowful toll of bells,
I call down the lightning of Heaven,
And shall reap the whirlwinds of your Hell!"

I am he they call Traitor,
I am the Betrayer,
I was called Lucifer!

I was that which brought dawn,
And I loved my great Lord,
But never will I bow
To those that are lower.
Never to a human
Shall I lower my head.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Fading to Black

This touch on the heart,
Faint as it may be now,
Shall never leave me.
Even in the fading light,
There is silver lining the night.

And as I may fall,
I pray that I hear her speak my name,
And tell me that she loves me once more,
As it all fades to black.

Aye, that is dilemma,
Where shall my heart lead me
When it is twixt Heaven and Hell?
No, it is no dilemma,
It shall lead me back to the goddess.

And as I ponder my demise,
I take in her fragrance and realize
That though I shall one day disappear,
It will never be the end.

I collapse and relax,
Smiling and embracing my destruction,
That fire that burns so bright as love must consume.
She takes me into her and hushes my whines,
As everything simply fades to black.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Confirmation

All my fears....confirmed.
All my dreams....nightmares.

It is as I had thought,
And so I am alone again.
This sickness inside is spreading,
Threatening to eat me alive.
It won't have me.

So what now?
Well friends,
It is as I had feared from the beginning,
That I am dying.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Before I forgive it all,
Know that it is your fault,
YOUR FAULT!
Your fault the cage closed around you.

I!
Am the misery wracking your mind!
I!
Am the blade tearing away your flesh!
I!
Am your worst ******** nightmare!

You will remember it all
While you sink deeper into Hell,
And perhaps realize that even the Devil cried for you.
And never shall you forget that:

I!
Am the Wolf King shredding your body!
I!
Am he that gave it all for her!
I!
Am her slave and you are a maggot!

I
AM
PAIN!

Quite terrible to normal I'm afraid, but yes. I really don't think I care much about how bad it is in essence....it only helped me release some unwanted tension, so yeah.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

I'm So Hollow

Shaking, rocking,
To and fro,
My paranoia and crazed thoughts take over.
They reside in the abyss of my mind,
Waiting to consume my essence.

I FEEL NO FEAR!
They're gonna take me from here!
I'm gonna die alone!
I've lost it all starting with her love!
NOOOOOO!

I reach deep in my soul,
And search my heart,
Just to find where I went wrong,
But I find that I was always lost.

I
FEEL
SO
HOLLOW!
I
CAN
FEEL
NOTHING!  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Patient and alone as always
I once stood in the room,
That was until your eagle eyes caught me
And ensnared me.

You know what I want now?
I wanna sew your eyes closed!

I wish you would die-like a dying star!
I wish you were dead-cold as your icy heart!
I wish I were dead-so I never could see you again!

I wanna sew your eyes shut
So I never again have to stare into the lies!
I wish you would die!
Die! Die! Die!
I wish you would just gargle on your own blood!  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

A Tragic Dream

I have lost all that I ever cared for,
And not because of cruel unforgiving life,
But because of me.

I wallow in these scars I've carved,
In flesh and mind.
Love, a tragic misery.
That porcelain heart lost to me now.

But slow slow, I lower to sleep,
Ahhh this sleep and chance to dream,
And perhaps I'll have her back in my arms.
Maybe that which has burned will be whole once more.
Maybe that love that I cut to pieces will be sewn together anew.

Sleep sleep sleep,
Rest my head now,
Never again to cry,
Dreaming purely of a winter night.

Cold cold cold is my heart,
But the soil of the earth shall warm it,
Six by four by six feet long, wide, and deep.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Alchemy: One

Though by general view,
A stone may become gold.
Well that is to say,
The low and unvalued,
May become great and valued.

But is gold not very malleable?
Easily bent by the wills of others?
The stone is stern,
But gold is easily melted into what we want.

I am golden,
Wishing simply to be gray.
I wish simply to brush away,
That which could change me,
That which would one day hurt me.

This poem is the first in a set that I will do based on alchemy. Readers will find in future poems in this topic to include parts of the Ripley's Scroll (most noted in modern culture because of Hellsing). The idea just recently struck me and I see no reason to allow it go unnoticed.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Alchemy: Two

They shall call me the Bird of Hermes,
And my wings will I make a feast,
Only to make myself tame.

Binding myself to slavery
To that which may slay me,
For these fallen feathers were freedom.

As I chew,
I spit the feathers and blood away,
The cost for that I wanted most.

So now the Bird of Hermes is my name,
Eating my wings to make me tame,
For it is love so deep,
That I am laid so low to bury me deeper.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

La Vita Nuova

Awaken,
Rise and walk,
There's the light.
Turn 'round and away again,
The darkness is behind me.
The light is ahead.

WHAT!?
THOUGHT I WOULD STAY!?
NO! NO!
RUN FOR THE LIGHT, RUN!
THE LIGHT IS THE NEW LIFE,
LEAVE THE REST BEHIND!
BURN IT ALL AWAY!
RUN FOR THE LIGHT!

Blood falling,
In slow
Motion.
I'm leaving you all behind,
For my new life,
La vita nuova.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Void's Return

Raise, raise blessed White Soul,
And take your mantle of purity.
Fall, fall blessed Black Soul,
And take your mantle of purity.
Pure light, pure dark,
Two sides,
One coin.

The eternal void,
That which all had once come,
So too shall it all return.
I had came,
And so too will I return.

Once alone,
Then taken,
Then lost again.
Old pains,
New agonies,
Nothing special.

Loneliness, my old friend,
I'm coming home.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

Truths Vs. Lies

We are sent forth into the world,
Completely oblivious to what surrounds us.
Ignorance is bliss they say,
And they are right.

Knowledge is misery,
For all that we know,
We see the reality of life.
The government,
The life we all lead,
That final betrayal.

Why live in truth?
You have lied to yourself before,
Saying that it will all be ok.
My friends,
The lies set you free.
The lies make you happy.  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

That Embrace

When was the last time
That you told her that you loved her?
When was the last time
You let her know that she was special?

Do not take your time,
Waste not a second,
For she is withering away,
Being taken into Death's embrace.

Savor that last kiss,
And enjoy that long hold,
Breathe in her scent,
For this is the final embrace.

Why do you wait till she is no more?
Is she not worth every moment?
Is this life not the last?
Tell her truly,
Every single day,
"I love you babe,
I love you."

"Why?" you ask,
Because,
Tomorrow may be the last.