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 Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2024 6:40 am
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Honestly I could handle kids somewhat better than I'm showing now, it' just this massive bunch of kids practically almost always 100% solo is too much especially since June here is their fourth month of being here... emotion_skull
(And sine Mike got pissy about the kinds of games I was playing with my friend after all of the three so far months of not cause of those kids were being babysat by me all the damn time... really honestly... i'm feeling done any more.)
I'm not okay to play the games I want to play with my friend I basically shoved off playing with for three months cause kid watching, watch my anime, or listen to any of my music as it all distracts/ruins those kids present/future lives.
{Cause Mike's shouting at/beating them up/calling them all retards/pigs/dicks/assholes/bitches at all doesn't ******** up a child right Mike!? Right yeah.... Solid good luck in life children I mean it as your new step daddy is ******** you all up more than bio daddy ever did & bio daddy did Mr. bad touch to half of you!!!}
I just can't anymore with this Family I now deemed as the RV gang/RV crew as thanks to last night where it was the worse night ever for me; As Mike decided to get all pissed off at everyone in the house when I was in the middle of chatting on discord with my friend in Logan Utah.
((So they got to here how Mike loves to shout at those six children let alone other people in general, and they both now agree Mike sucks.))
But now my mood is more soured to try at all even to enjoy my life any when the RV gang is still here as it feels any corner is a corner to get screwed in & I'm not allowed to live my life freely!!!
Moving on some now the reason the kitties in my room are even picking to mess in it is they too feel the anxiety and stress of the RV gang/RV crew of people. (I can confirm this as after Mike's explosion last night he shared after he walked into my bedroom to see Regina that there was fresh cat piss on my mattress again, and I had half a mind to say "well ******** dur you shouted loud as ******** and scared/stressed out/and possibly gave loads of anxiety to those two sweet fur babies being a hypocrite about how we're ruining those kids when your shouting at them does 500% more damage than my game choices I have!" just ugh...)
Being honest idk what kinds they been to, but it's all been their parents own choices whom they went to, and it all sounds like the person they found only cares for the money they receive over really helping these kids.
(Which scares me as those kids need serious help not only about the bio daddy Mr. bad touch stuff, but overall in general mental as some of those kids are thinking of sexual acts and violence as the go to way to resolve issues and not cause of the video games I play; And more cause in general it's what they're thinking is fine because bio daddy Mr. bad touch, did exactly that to half of the girls with sexual acts and he threatened all of them with violence to keep shushed. Minna the middle child has nightmares of Bio dad attacking her now as when she was younger she was the kid whom built the courage to tell her mommy what was happening to all of them. And now in the future their new dad Step daddy Mike picks verbal & sometimes physically damaging methods to parent those kids which only ******** them all up more.
(But no oh wait that'd be my dumbass doing so for playing my violent <********> video game in front of his sponge minded children whom are so retarded they'd copy the video game's actions as they do not know any better to not do so as they're all stupid bitches whom copy anything bad they see 100% of the time & we got to stop plying those kinds of games or watching our anime as well cause we're being assholes when we do so as it all ruins how they're raising those kids.)
Those last bits with the italicized words of text are words Mike uses talking about others and those kids. {but oh no my video game choices I started to just play again due to feeling stressed and needing an escape/feeling bad I shoved off my friends for three months now cause having the RV gang here is the bad thing. emotion_skull Have a mind to just tell him off right here and now about how I'm not ruining those kids he is & if he attacks me good anymore as he'll be taken away where he needs to be and maybe my older than me niece regina may see her crap taste in men and either A.) pick better, B.) drop all men to go back into her teen times of dating women again, or. C.) give up on love in general and raise those kids solo mama bird. Which imo B & C could both do better as her choice in men so far both suck.}
Like I do see the few goods in Mike for those kids and her as well, but the dude needs serious help to understand his yelling & words he uses harms those kids most of all. (that or he needs to go become a teacher at my old high school as he'll fit right in with the other many staff of the worse adults I ever met as a teenager. Cause now both Mike and those teachers have me waking up regretting I woke up and wishing I was dead over alive each time I'm spending awake.)
woo depression!!! |
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Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2024 8:28 pm
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I mean, if the kids think violent acts from a video game are okay, there's something more going on than JUST someone playing a video game around them. So, honestly, play whatever you want and tell the butthead to suck it. Like, you can at least explain to kids that what happens in a video game wouldn't be okay in real life. But if some OTHER ADULT in their lives is doing those things, well, there's only one conclusion to be drawn from that.
So, yeah, one hundred percent, buttface is way worse than anything you could be playing or watching. (I mean, you know, unless those happen to be Leisure Suit Larry and Goblin Slayer, respectively.) Also, I can go ask my beau right now and he'll back me up, it's scientifically proven that video games, no matter how violent, do not contribute to making the people that play them more violent. In fact, I believe the research suggested that violent games REDUCE violent tendencies. (Which makes sense, you'd be working out your aggression through the game and wouldn't feel as much need to resort to physical violence.)
(My beau wrote his senior research paper on the topic of video games and violence, so he's a reliable source on this subject.)
Even though statistics suggest lesbian relationships have a higher incidence of abuse, I'd definitely support the double mom scenario. Two entries may not be enough for a sequence, but there's clearly a trend with the male choices, and it's not a good trend. I think mostly the kids should come first before anything else, though, and they're pretty clearly not getting what they need or being treated as they deserve (you know, like intelligent life forms that can make their own choices and form their own opinions and think for themselves), so clearly something should be changed. |
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Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2024 7:13 pm
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You're definitely not the a*****e in the situation. I mean, in the first place, it's your home, they're the guests. And secondly, they're not your kids, you shouldn't be the one having to enforce someone else's (stupid) rules. And thirdly, it will not hurt the kids to have a separate set of rules when you're watching them. I mean, if they were taken to an actual babysitter, the babysitter will only be enforcing their rules, they're certainly not keeping a list of every parent's/guardian's home rules to enforce on a per-child basis.
As for the cake... One, ew, that is ******** disgusting. Two, if they had wanted to eat it, they'd have damn well eaten it weeks ago, before it even had the chance to become petrified cake (I'm astounded it didn't go furry and attain some degree of sentience, being left so long), so they should stop bitching.
At this point, I feel like you should just go ahead and do whatever you want. They're clearly convinced you're the bad guy, so might as well ACTUALLY be the bad guy. At least the treatment isn't so unjustified then. Might drive them out faster, too, actually inspire them to BE ADULTS and stop mooching off you. |
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Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2024 11:05 pm
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Exactly for all of it, they're not my kids they are my great nieces and one nephew, secondly idk all of their rules until they or the actual kids come to tell me, third it's my place what my friend and I do and I'm not going around showing them part of video games where they see exposed genitals of both genders & the friends whom do have that thing about I'm waiting til hours of they're all the fack asleep to deal with so I'm pretty damn good.
Fourth of all I've followed their things almost to a perfect T for dumb Minecraft Christianity server like rules for three months already, three months I didn't even game with my friends and now when I have started the second day Mike comes in yells and shouts his own arse off you would swear if there at everyone (yes me included.) that in the middle of a mission for GTA:O for GTA5 I hopped off shut off my console and just walked the heck outside still in discord call with my friends to explain what happened on why I suddenly left. (And in true fashion I wasn't free to even do that as soon after saying I was sorry for the leaving so abrupt here comes Yelly McShoutsalot loud talking at me now suddenly about what games I should do & I straight said okay but tomorrow {Today now nearly Yesterday due to hours are 11:10pm when I started this one here and if your time zone is an hour ahead it is your tomorrow for me already making it a yesterday case there for you.} I said I'd be doin what I did today for me.
((Apparently that was messed up as now my own niece whom showed no gfd issues before got pissy too cause apparently IATA, I am suppose to be the secret parent of the six children enforced onto me daily. I only made a load of sacrifices that make me suffer; My personal space is invaded twice first as it's my damn home they're crashing in, secondly Regina's using my bedroom the most sacred place of all for her work office so I got no real bedroom to escape to with my console to play what my friend and I would love to play together after three months of we didn't play videogames let alone chat together I got actually actively depressed from forcing myself to be their kid sitting beach if you catch my drift... so yeah excuse me a moment if I am in a crap mood some just for that cause I sacrificed all that, add in I sacrificed my sleep to charge those children's tablets they use for all the wrong reasons and steal of one another's which costed me my dang sleep for three days, and that's off my normal up late to enjoy my life after all the kid sitting normally!!!))
I know right, yet again I did yet another great sacrifice of my own health to help them all and I'm the bad person guess screw being the hero at all even if it's an anti-hero kind of hero. stare
{But what to expect I guess seeing as they never had any mind to much of my own mental states & the time I'm clearly suffering they call me toxic and shoot me glares I couldn't even have damn fun today on the day that Literally Mike was fine with yesterday happening it seemed as I got no "No you can not." so I just did but guess I'm an a*****e go ******** myself go ******** having joy ever when they are here, and ******** feeling any anger as it aint them being bad here it's all 200% only me and my fault as I suck I'm a ******** worst part is, this wont be the first or even last time I had to act up as a thing people saw me as; High school became the delinquent the staff saw me as due to their hate of my elders before me, 2019 became the toxic a.hole cause of having to kick out a bad tenant of mine whom was claiming he'd take over my home and allow me to live in it after he took it over if I pay him rent instead by then, and now this where I guess I'm an a.hole again just cause I wanted some dang joy in my joyless four months of having them here now as this is the fourth month!!!
((And idk what I want to even do anymore as I was planning to do this today, and then be all "Okay it a thousand times sucks but we're going to wait on them to gtfo before we do our normal things." but now since they got more angry with me I'm leaning more into the punkish rogue ways of "DILLIGAF ANYMORE!?!!" and just doing what we will minus the obvious big bads to show kids towards like literal porn in video game form or movies/anime/TV shows. As it is my home and I've been made extremely upset now being treated like literal crap again in my life. I'm tired of being treated like crap I've been crap far too much and I'm sick of it. stressed ))
Best of all Regina is the worse for numerous stuff now to me;
1.) she has two members here Mike openly calls assholes just for living their own lives in their own dang home.
2.) She got mad at me today when she gave no shits at all the other times she seen me playing my kind of games around here & she was happy I finally played a video game with a friend of mine when we first started back to doing so. (what changed?)
3.) She has been the only one concerned about my mental state of being but now she done all this which really put my mental state into the negatives and driven me to hate her again in my family. And worse of all was I was feeling bad for her but now after she done this today idk if I should even feel bad as clearly she loves this jerk of a man and his verbal and some times physical child abuse as Mike will literally slap the back of a child's head for being a child having a water fight in Summer in the Emmett Idaho 90+ F degrees of a town here & openly call her little brother and her younger uncle an a*****e for living their own lives freely as adults younger than her with no show of defending us both too much over a quiet given up on life voice tone of "they got their own lives" which I doubt she did today for me seeing how she was all mad at me today as well. (I blame the heat we all are dealing with for the huge eff fest of rage today, but to outright not even try to understand/defend me even with all of my other sacrifices here, yeah I shouldn't give her the time of day imo & I even planned to remake a better cake for them all as I ate the bad rock hard garbage one that probably made my life meter drop another ten years more as I suffered worse foods than that.)
Honestly I wonder if this just my horrible life anymore... do good, get s**t on.. do bad, get worse. try your best, and be highly hated?
And I ask "why do I even try anymore if all I ever get is s**t upon later for trying to enjoy myself later on for a little while as if I'm not allowed to even do so!?" & the answer is always the same cause for a b*****d a*****e Slytherin scum basket you're loving somehow to all even those highly undeserving of the love you give as it's just how you were raised to be.
Perhaps I should openly share my thought 24/7 as they happen to Regina so she knows how much I suffer in my day to day life, blog to her my mind's inner workings ad my emotional downsides of bad times when they happen it'll share to her a lot about me as a person, perhaps I may even share to her the whole TLer thing I also deal with and all of those emotions and she'll finally have it come to light I'm a sufferer. |
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Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2024 2:33 pm
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Cripes, GTA isn't even really THAT BAD. I don't even think it makes my top ten of games I wouldn't want literal children to see. I think language and substance use are my biggest complaints for it (unless you have someone running around with one of the schlongs as a weapon; they still have those, right? Or was that just Saints Row... I've never been much into either franchise, and my beau hasn't played any of them in a long while), and pretty sure the kids see and hear enough of profanity, at least, from the stepfather, so it's not like it is anything new to them.
And you're not being toxic. I think you're responding in a perfectly normal way to jerks taking advantage of you, and trying to make the best of the bad hand they've dealt you. (I've had plenty of experience with toxic shitheads, so I like to think I know what I'm talking about here.) It's not fair to you or to the others that actually belong in your household, the way they're treating all of you. If they're really that upset about how you care for the kids, then they can damn well pay for an actual babysitter to watch them instead.
And best guess as to what changed with Regina; ******** told her how she 'should' feel and react to everything, and clearly his word is law.
At this point, feel bad for the kids, who don't really have a choice in any of this, feel about the situation overall, but don't feel bad for the adults. They've made their beds, they can lie in them. Until either of them starts making better choices, you're better not wasting your energy feeling any kind of way about them. Which, easier said than done, I know, but at least don't feel too bad about being upset and frustrated with them; those are perfectly reasonable feelings in this situation.
Unless you want cake yourself, don't bother making anything for them. They will not be properly appreciative, and do not deserve your kindness. Which sounds kind of dickish, but consider it caring for yourself, since a person only has so much energy and time in a day and you deserve to use those resources for yourself.
And if it'll make you feel better, go ahead and share that internal monologue and how you feel and what you think about it all. Maybe it'll help the two of you come to an understanding. Maybe not. But worth a try if it's something you actually want to do. I will suggest trying to frame it in a non-combative way, though, don't want to trigger an automatic defensive reaction when you're trying to have an actual, meaningful conversation. Past that, have at it, go all out. |
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Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2024 1:32 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2024 4:06 pm
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Posted: Sun Jun 16, 2024 5:21 am
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Aw, that's slightly disappointing, it's such a fun weapon. I'm sure if GTA doesn't actually have it, there's a PC user somewhere that made a mod to add it in, though. cat_xd Could just be the way I'm remembering things, too; GTA and Saints Row are so similar gameplay-wise that they just sort of blend together for me.
Really is amazing on the foul language side to me. Like, most kids know better than to repeat naughty words from games since it could get them in trouble with adults. But when adults are the ones using the words, well, that's fair use vocabulary, then.
Oof, I feel your pain, having to be up that early on a weekend. (I say as I'm typing this post at 8AM after having been up all night because psh what ARE days and nights anyway?) Assuming you're not caffeine-free like I am, I will hope for plenty of your caffeinated beverage of choice to be at hand. Nice to hear they're close to having their own place finally, though! Just, uh, really hope their definition of "close" is the same as the one I, and likely you, use. Otherwise, gonna have to get all Inigo Montoya about it.
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Posted: Mon Jun 17, 2024 2:53 am
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No, I get that, for sure. I suppose I'm just trying to say if/when you go hunting for it, don't be alarmed if it doesn't exist because I could 100% be mixing up games. cat_sweatdrop
Aww, that's rough. I relied on coffee back when I was watching my godchildren. These days I don't consume caffeine of any sort (not even chocolate) mostly out of necessity. Even after finding a medication that actually works, my body still gives a hard no to caffeine. It's also slightly an actual choice. My beau accidentally got me something caffeinated recently, and I figured since I've been doing well I could use it as a rare treat. Unfortunately the caffeine kicked my anxiety, which is bad on a normal day, into super mega overdrive, so it was not a pleasant experience. Which is a real shame, I love the taste of coffee... |
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Posted: Tue Jun 18, 2024 3:23 am
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If they were decent people, they'd bring you a little surprise like that occasionally just because they could and wanted to do so, or as a treat for all the help you've given them. cat_stare
(I'm probably being unfairly salty, but it's going to take a long while for me to get over how upset I am over how they've treated you.)
I get not wanting to ask for things or help, though. It's basically ingrained in me to avoid asking anyone for anything, my mom won't ask for help, either. I feel guilty if I ask for something, or like I owe something for needing help, and boy do I HATE feeling indebted to anyone, it's like something they can hold over me to request whatever they want in return. Didn't really have anyone other than my mom to turn to growing up, and she had enough troubles on her own that I'd only ask her for help when it was dire. Just kind of carried that on into adulthood. Add trust issues to the mix and you've got a recipe for someone who will avoid asking for anything at all costs. |
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