Alternate Universes: Family Issues

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Darrell


"And so you left without a word." Darrell continued, completely unfazed by Ben's misery. "You threw your depression onto me and completely disregarded my feelings. Do you have any idea how worried I was? I rarely slept because I was frightened about what happened to you! You didn't even have the gall to write one letter. One letter! Was one measly letter too much to ask for?!" he spat.

 

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⊗ βenjamin Ғoster ⊗



"You know that if I'd sent a letter, any letter, your father would be at my door before it even touched your hands!" protested the teen, striding forward and setting his hands on Darrell's arms. "It's the past, Darrell. It's done. I'm home, and now we can be friends again. Please, forgive me."

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Darrell


Darrell, knowing that Ben was right, was in the process of calming down and was about to apologize for his rash behavior. He opened his mouth but stopped himself from speaking when one of Ben's lines hit him, and it hit him hard. "... Friends?" he echoed numbly and knit his eyebrows at Ben. "I don't... I don't understand..." was all he could manage to say. Why friends? Ben had always been distant to him, but wasn't that just because he wasn't used to the affection?

 

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⊗ βenjamin Ғoster ⊗



The teen looked down, eyes closed and feeling that things would only get more and more terrible from here. "Yeah, friends. I love you, Darrell, I really do, and I don't want to ever cause problems between you and your brothers ever again. Whether my love for you is brotherly or romantic, it doesn't matter. I must ask you to let us be friends, so that you don't end up throwing away any relationship you have with your brothers. I'm just a man, Darrell. I can't give you what they can." He looked up, beautiful clear eyes pleading with the man before him. "Please, Darrell. I don't want to hurt you again."

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I kinda hate Ben for lying to Darrell all this time, y'know?

Darrell


Darrell just stared at Ben in shocked silence. He couldn't fathom what to say in this kind of situation. Even if he did, he feared that his voice would shatter from the fragments of his heart tearing into it like a clothe. The pain of Ben running away without telling him was awful, but this... This was indescribable.
"Why... Why are you saying this?" his pain spoke for him, and it made sure to be heard. "We both care about each other. We were doing just fine! I know Gus and Zeke will be better around you, so what exactly are you afraid of?" he persisted. "Why are you so against being with me? This can't be the only reason."

 

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⊗ βenjamin Ғoster ⊗



"I can't tell you why!" Ben covered his face with his hands, trying to stop from shaking as he moved away from the man. "What do you want me to do, Darrell? I can't be the reason that your brothers begin to hate you, I just can't. They've already seemed to lose respect simply because you like men. But to love me? To love me would murder everything you have. What do you want from me, Darrell? What can I do?"

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Yeah, but it's kinda the point, I think. Ben was leading Darrell on in order to have something good about his situation, but ending up being given something else, and now has to lie once again to get out of it. It's a way to make his ending more human.

 

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Darrell


"I don't care what my brothers think. I just want you, Ben!" Darrell said and advanced towards the man. He put his hands on Ben's thin wrists and forced him to look at him. "Please, Ben. Why are you so against this?"

 

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⊗ βenjamin Ғoster ⊗



Ben's eyes were wide as they stared up at Darrell, his fists shaking as he tried to pull away. "I can't tell you, damn it!" he cried, shaking his head and looking down. "I just can't! It's... It's bigger than me."

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Darrell


All the passion and hope on Darrell's face drained away quickly. He numbly let go of Ben's hands and let his own fall to his side, where they hung there limply. "... Are you even upset about this?" he asked quietly, an expression similar to disappointment on his face. "You're crying, but it's as if it's because you're scared about this f-cking secret." And with that curse word uttered, it had become painfully obvious how hurt and enraged the eldest son was. "Did you care about me at all?"

 

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"Don't be silly, of course I care about you!" he insisted, small fists coming up to Darrell's chest. "If I didn't, I wouldn't bother telling you anything." All his lies were coming over him, and it was drowning Ben. Anything else, and he wouldn't hesitate to run away.

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Darrell


Darrell stared down at Ben. His eyes slowly narrowed, but not out of anger, it was of solemn disappointment and even pity. Slowly his own hands moved up to clasp Ben's thin wrists, moving the small fists away from his chest. "That's the thing, Benjamin," he said quietly while glowering down at the seemingly innocent boy. "You never told me anything. You said so yourself, it would have made the family suspicious." He dropped Ben's wrists unceremoniously and began walking away. He didn't bother looking at him as he said, "If you just wanted protection from my brothers then you could have asked instead of leading me on. Gus may be nice to you now, but you've lost me as an ally."

 

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The teen's hands fell to his sides, and he stared after the elder man. "Darrell, that's not how it went!" he insisted, clenching his fists as he felt something in his chest start hurting. "Don't pretend like you know everything. You don't!"

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Darrell


"I know enough, Ben!" Darrell yelled and stopped to look over his shoulder. Both his tone and his expression showed how much anger he was harboring, an anger born from pain and betrayal. "I know you've never had any kind of feeling for me. You can try to sound like a good person, Ben, but I know how black your heart is." Unwilling to listen to anymore lies, Darrell turned back around and strode down the stairs and away from Ben.

 

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"Don't you dare speak like you know my heart." Ben's words were colder than before, rage finally dipping into them. There was indeed a time when the young man had felt stirring for his brother. He'd wanted him, and maybe a part of him loved him as something more, but now those feelings would be locked away. Darrell's words killed them.
With his heart aching, Ben ran to his bedroom, not bothering to go back down to his stepfather and lover, and wanting instead to just sit away from it all. He shut the door with a decisive noise, locking it with a click, and not wanting to come out again.

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