Ark Of Umbrage
I feel terrible right now.... Can I get a cheer up?
I got some jokes for you...
When god made Eve he told Adam that one day she would begin to bleed and not to worry she would be okay, and for GODSAKE don't put her in the river. Well the day came and Adam panicked, so he ran Eve to the river and dunked her in. God appeared to Adam and said, "Dammit Adam I told you not to put her in the river, now its going to take me a million years to get the smell out of the fish!"
Another one in case you have heard that one before....
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early
one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had
been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone
off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to
spare.
As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making
such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So,
I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting
next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was
at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some
clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing
the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the
other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a
million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have
made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?' I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I went home. The rest of the day was normal ... some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, 'Mommy,
where's my washcloth?' I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.'
Never going back to that doctor . Ever.
