Numenore: Reloaded ~ A Numenorean RP

[Thaxul]

Arnor: Imperial Gardens

*Tom rushed towards the gardens in search of Vadar. When he reached him, he was out of breath so he just stood there for a few minutes trying to catch his breath.*

"My Lord...*gasp*...My Lord, the city has been invaded...*gasp*...by....*gasp*....illiterates!"  

[Falathrim]

Arnor :: Imperial Gardens

Vader sighed. "Yes, Tom the Stout, I know the city of Gondor is being overrun by Illiterates. Why do you think I had faithful Steward prepare a Very Good Plan?"  

[Thaxul]

Arnor: Imperial Gardens

"No, you don't understand. Illiterates have been spotted in this 'ere city too. I myself have run into many of them, and barely came out with my hearing intact. And....and... I left my ale in the tavern!"

*He burst into tears, just thinking of the cool, sweet refreshing ale he had left behind.*  

[Falathrim]

Arnor :: Imperial Garden

The Lord Vader had returned to gazing lovingly upon the shrubbery when Tom the Stout uttered the terrible correction. Quickly then did Vader turn back to the Numenorean soldier. "But that is nonsense! Never before have those evil-doers breached the white walls of our city. We are well protected from such dangers, for-" Yet even as he spoke was he cut off, for in the distance was a scream heard.

"liek omg ware iz hader ^_^ !!1!"

Vader listenend intently, and quickly a look of horror crossed his face. "That scream was not of an Arnorian," he swiftly said, turning to his faithful Steward. "Faithful Steward, you know what you must do! Go, hurry now!"  

[Thaxul]

Arnor: Imperial gardens

*Tom was still sobbing over his lost pint, and wasn't listening to what Vader was rambling on about.*

"Will my pint of ale be compensated for?"  

[Falathrim]

Arnor :: Imperial Garden

"Not a chance."  

[Nimbrethil]

Arnor :: Imperial Garden

Roger felt his face pale at the news Tom had brought, and he very nearly wet himself when the high-pitched wail broke the peace of the Imperial Gardens.

He edged toward the hedge maze, bravely resisting the urge to run. He hoped no one would notice if he hid out in the hedge maze until the threat had been dealt with. Maybe he'd even come across the treasure!  

[curumo]

Arnor :: Imperial Garden

The shrubbery was, indeed, even better than the Steward had dreamed about. It would make a fine addition to the garden.

The news that this Tom the Stout brought, however, cast a grim light on this glorious day. Now the enjoyment of the new shrubbery would have to be postponed until a Very Good Plan could be constructed to abate this menace.

Francis thought quickly, knowing that there was only one person who could bring this illiterates situation to a tidy close.

"Shall I send for him?" Francis asked Vader, winking suggestively. "...Or should I just make Tom dress up in a costume with a sign taped to his chest that reads 'dis way 2 Laglis' and have him lead them out of the city?"  

[Falathrim]

Arnor :: Imperial Garden

Vader glanced at faithful Steward with a content look in his eyes. "Aye, both of your plans are Very Good, faithful Steward. You are wise, so I would have you choose as you see fit. But know this! The more death, the better! Kill, kill them all! As most Literate of Literates, a title bestowed on me long ago, I offer up this counsel."

Vader then turned to return to the tower, for he deemed that through the courage of faithful Steward, the Illiterates would soon perish. Yet he glanced backwards, and spoke again, for new thoughts had come. "Faithful Steward, return as swiftly as can be. For indeed, I shall sail for Numenore tonight, but it is no longer for party, and you shall accompany me. This I judge to be wise."  

[curumo]

Arnor :: The Imperial Garden

Francis pondered for a moment, considering which plan meant less work.

The Steward addressed Tom, lookin at him grimly, "I have a job of great importance for you, and you shall be paid hansomely in the form of moonshine if you accomplish what is bidden of you."

Francis paused, pulling a brightly coloured costume and an equally brightly coloured sign out of the offical Steward robes and handed them to Tom.

"Here you are!" Francis said, a little too cheerfully, "You are now in my service. Round up the illiterates and lead them to the Bridge of Eternal Peril, where they will certainly perish. It's not too far. But remember, don't let them get too close; it is said that they have sharp and pointy claws."

Now, thought Francis, The situation is out of my hands and I can turn my attention to my shrubbery, where Vader is going and why I'm not allowed to party.

It was then that the Steward realized that if both rulers left, Ernest and his devilish good looks would be left in charge of the kingdom.  

[Zurgi]

Gondor :: Somewhere randomly around there. I'm lazy, what do you expect..

Looking nervously around, Stan noticed a horse standing abandoned by the side of the road. Or rather, a man standing with coconuts, which would do just as well.

"You there! Man with coconuts! Be my steed while I ride to Castle Anthrax!"

And off he went.

*some time later xd *

As Stan arrived at the gates of Castle Anthrax he knocked on the doors, which were then opened by a young lady he knew to be Zoot. She smiled at him, and then spoke..

"OMG!!111 ITZ A M4|L! TEH SEXX! SP4/\/K UZ!!!!111"

Stan collapsed in sheer horror.  

[Thaxul]

Arnor: Imperial Gardens

*Tom held the colourful suit out in front of him, inspecting it. It was finely made, and Tom thought he would look good in it. He quickly put it on, along with the sign.*

"How do I look, shrubber? I think I look kinda good."

*And with that, he made his way back to the city, not even waiting for a response from the shrubber.*  

[Onoj]

The ever loving dwarf from scene 24 came strolling down the road once again. He sat in a beautiful meadow and smelled the flowers. It was quite enjoyable. Then he fell asleep, and dreamed of butterflies...and fire.


The End...for now. Dun dun du dudu....eh screw it  

[Falathrim]

Arnor

And lo! the Illiterates did see Tom the Stout, and they were amazed, and they did follow him. And stuff. Yeah. They did! I swear! Listen, just because I don't go into details doesn't mean the Flight of the Illiterates is a myth. I mean, the story is told of in story and song, so it must be true, right? Right! So it's decided. The Illiterates fled.

Most of them, at least. I dunno, maybe Tom missed a few. And if he did, he'd be punished of course... blah blah blah...  

[Thaxul]

Arnor: The City Gates

*After a total of two minutes of running, Tom stopped for a break. The illiterates were still behind him, so he had to be quick. he turned around, and they almost caught up on him. The screeches were deafening. All that could be heard was laglis....babiez....secksy.

*Tom decided to lead them into the river, like the rats they were, so he made his way there. When he reached the river bank, he had only seconds to make a sign, saying;

Laglis 1s iNn th3 r1v3r!!1!!11
H3 m1ghT b3 N4k1d!!!111oneone!!!
tH15 w4y!!! -------->

The arrow was pointing into the river, off the highest river bank cliff. the all screeched even louder at the mention of him naked, and ran off the cliff without question. 'Idiots!' Tom thought, and made his way back to Arnor, looking for any illiterates he missed. He knew that Tar-Vadar would ounish him for any mistakes, and he didn't wnt that.*