WHERE'D EVERYONE FREAK'N GO !?!?

[xwhateverxdudex]

It's not like a change in style or color would totally wreck a relationship.

I'm just saying that I'm less likely to start one with a girl that's bald. It's all statistics. Also depends on each person. There most likely are guys out there that think bald girls are more attractive.

I'm just not one of them.  

[purpleravenhawk]

Well, I suppose, to each his own. Personally, I have hair preferences, but they don't affect my level of interest in the slightest. In some ways, I find bald more interesting, especially if they shave it all off. For some people, skin is a bigger turn-on than hair. I wouldn't say I'm one of them, but I think I come pretty close. I guess what I mean is that appearance is less important to me than anything else.  

[xwhateverxdudex]

This makes you the weird one. LOL  

[Iakun]

I'm not gonna lie, appearance is important. Personality is super important, but even in a long term relationship setting, if I'm gonna be kissing this person, cuddling, having sex with etc. then they need to be physically attractive to me too.

I think a drastic change in appearance during a relationship is what's jarring. Say your man's usually got like a nice clean cut appearance, then one day he decides to grunge it out and grow out a wicked set of dreads. I'd be mortified. Sure he's got every right to do what he wants with his body, but the consequences in that situation would be me not finding him anywhere near as physically attractive as when we first met.

Though I think men don't have it as rough as women in the hair department. Men get away with looking disheveled half the time, and they can be bald. If a woman's bald... it's like the end of the world for her.

edit: Interesting tidbit. Men's feelings of attraction work a lot more visually, while women's feelings of attraction work on a more mental stimulation level. This would probably explain why in a majority of couple (in my observation) the man's usually not as good looking as the woman. lulz  

[purpleravenhawk]

You're not the only one who's noticed that. 3nodding I think it's an unfair standard. xp I read an interview with some famous guy once, don't remember who it was. But he said, "To all you women, you don't have to change everything about your body. When we men really fall in love with you, we fall in love with all your parts, whether you think they're perfect or not." I thought it was a nice sentiment, but I wondered if he meant it.  

[xwhateverxdudex]

Iakun: I agree completely.
Thank you for posting that. I'm not good with lenthy statements, but you've said everything I wanted too.

Purple: It's a good thing to wonder about. (I wonder about it too)
I suppose it's possible for some guys out there to think like that.
(more like "likely" considdering the number of people in the world)

But the cosequences in a relationship will have to be dealt, either way. (and that is true)

May not be fair, but really it depends on the person.  

[purpleravenhawk]

My pragmatic side knows that the world works in such a way that appearance is everything to a lot of people and extremely importance to a lot more. But it'll always seem shallow to me. xp  

[Iakun]

I just don't think it's fair to even think of that as being shallow. Maybe you can call it shallow if physical attraction is almost the only thing that matters to a person.

About what that man said, I've seen a few surveys where men have said they actually prefer their women to have a healthy figure. By healthy I mean a little bit of fat on their bodies, like women are naturally meant to have anyway. If this is so, where is this desire coming from for women to be stick thin?  

[xwhateverxdudex]

Besides, too skinny and the person looks sickly.
And that isn't attractive either.

And how is being aware of your base animalistic desires, shallow.
Because that's all that physical attraction is.  

[purpleravenhawk]

I suppose you're right, Iakun. I just know too many people for whom physical appearance is everything.

I'm not equating physical attraction with appearance, tho. Certainly, appearance is a part of attraction, but there are other factors. I see nothing wrong with wanting to focus on attraction, especially when you're younger and it's more fine-edged for you. And being aware of your "base animalistic desires" is fine. In fact, I think everyone should be aware of everything they're feeling and why. It's when it becomes everything to you and you immerse yourself in it totally and lose sight of everything else that I have a problem with it. You'll notice that's a pattern with me.  

[xwhateverxdudex]

Yes... I have noticed.
LOL  

[purpleravenhawk]

Well, there is a difference between being aware of something and being lost in it. You can be totally lost in a feeling and not have any idea that it's there until you stop to think about it.  

[Iakun]

purpleravenhawk

I suppose you're right, Iakun. I just know too many people for whom physical appearance is everything.

I'm not equating physical attraction with appearance, tho. Certainly, appearance is a part of attraction, but there are other factors. I see nothing wrong with wanting to focus on attraction, especially when you're younger and it's more fine-edged for you. And being aware of your "base animalistic desires" is fine. In fact, I think everyone should be aware of everything they're feeling and why. It's when it becomes everything to you and you immerse yourself in it totally and lose sight of everything else that I have a problem with it. You'll notice that's a pattern with me.

Wait, what? Not equating physical attraction with appearance? What else would you equate physical attraction with? Do you mean to say, instead of getting horny because he's hot, you get horny because he's super smart? lol  

[xwhateverxdudex]

Now that's something that doesn't make sence to me either.
(horny because he/she's smart? - that's total bull)

Physical attraction is ALWAYS based on appearance.
(it's why they call it "physical" )
It's all about the body.

If it's not appearance that you're talking about, then it's not physical attraction, it's mental attraction.

And who gives a crap about that? LOL
(BTW, this was a joke)  

[purpleravenhawk]

Lol, of course, physical appearance is important to physical attraction. But have you even seen someone you thought was totally hot, walked up to them (or kissed them), and felt nothing? That's because physical attraction is also a matching game of hormones. The body is pretty open to a variety of possibilities, but there are so many combinations that some are bound to fail.

Have you ever been totally attracted to someone, but there was one little thing about them that made you completely lose that squishy feeling? Like an annoying laugh or voice, or like the way they moved? There are other factors besides appearance, even if appearance is the most important.

And yeah, mental attraction is another factor, especially with girls. (You don't have to pay attention here if you don't want to, Iakun. blaugh ) Physical attraction may be enough for a drunken one night stand, but most girls in most situations need more than that. That's why boys have to go through such hoops to get them interested. For girls, and some boys I'm sure, mental attraction is a part of physical attraction. It's not just about smarts, either. There's attitude, confidence, and other stuff. Complicated, isn't it?