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 Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:48 pm
An Irishman walked out of a bar.
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:52 am
what is the height of cruelty??
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throwing your girlfriend out of the window and singing 'love is in the air'
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 3:30 pm
Zack: Your mother so fat that she fell off both sides of the bed!!!
Jade: Wanna start joking??? Your on. Your mother no...Yo MAMA!...........wait Yjho Mama......wait
Zack: >:[_______] scream get to da joke already!!! u kno wat Yo Mama so fat wen she stepped on a weight measurer it said "One person at a time plz".
Jade:Aha! Thats the perfect way to say it. Yo ugly mother so old she farts dust!
Zack: Yo mama so fat wen it was her birthday she turned around twice and it was her birthday again!
Jade: Hey! You cant say stuff thats true! Thats cheating!!!
Zack: eek
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 3:33 pm
I walk into a bar and I see a jew, a nun, and a chicken, then I realized my whole life was a joke.
Yeah, it took me a while to get it.
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 3:35 pm
a chicken getting strangled
(choking the chicken)
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 3:42 pm
i can not make u laugh but go and watch the hangover and u will laugh
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 4:03 pm
Ok here goes one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazy husband says, "My sweet darling, I am going to take you to moon tonight."
The impatient wife says, "Sure, but first at least let's see the rocket to get there."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two
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A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”
The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”
“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodka.”
The barman says, “Wow! you must have had very bad day.”
“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said, “What the hell? Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”
“Yes, my wife…”
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 4:24 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 4:26 pm
"I have a six pack"
"Where?"
"Behind my fat, its shy."
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 4:32 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:35 am
heres a few jokes
1. sorry if this is bad in any way is just a joke. what happened when god made the first black person.A: dang i burnt one
2.how do u keep a black man from shopping?A:put his food stamps in his work boots!!
3.yo mamas so fat when she sees a taxi she chases it cuz she thinks its a twinkie. sorry thats all bcuz rest have to do with noises sorrry!!!!!
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Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 11:17 am
A wild gaga has appeared far north! My names alex and I came from denmark. I called my Dad D. , Since I couldnt say dad yet. I made him a CD of songs and went to show him. "See D. ?" I asked. "I perfer a DVD." He responded. I am in shape. Round is a shape!!! why does this look strange!?!"Mc Tacos Dododododoooo Think Outside the bun! Millions and bazillionz served 98.56% Became fat" ((This work of art right here is my own photoshoping+ Saying I MADEMYSELF)) 
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Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 11:26 am
x-EmoKookies Ok here goes one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazy husband says, "My sweet darling, I am going to take you to moon tonight." The impatient wife says, "Sure, but first at least let's see the rocket to get there." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.” The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?” “Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodka.” The barman says, “Wow! you must have had very bad day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!” On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, “What the hell? Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?” “Yes, my wife…” 1: i dont get it 2:FUNNY 3:sad :[
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Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:14 pm
A boy was sittin' on the riverbank, fishing, next to the dam. On his way home, catch in hand, he passes by the town's pastor. Boy says to pastor: "Hey Pastor. Do you want my dam fish?"The pastor looks at the boy in disbelief. "Excuse me, son?" The boy nods and holds up his catch. "Yes sir, my dam fish. The fish I caught up at the dam. My mama don't like cleanin' it and stuff, so I figured you might like it." Understanding dawns on the pastor as he realizes the boy wasn't cursing at him and takes the fish home to his wife to clean and cook. Sitting at dinner that night, the pastor turns to his well-behaved, respectful daughter and says: "Would you please pass the peas?" He then turns to his son, whom is the exact opposite of the daughter, and says "Son, would you please pass the dam fish?" The son jumps from his chair and practically yells: "Yeah! Alright, Dad! Screw the peas...pass the f***ing potatoes!"
[[note to pastor...next time just say fish]]
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Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:24 pm
Just thought of another one...
A crew member of a ship comes up to the captain and says: "Sir! There's an enemy ship on the horizon!"
The captain says: "Bring me my red shirt!"
After the battle that same crew member comes up to the captain and asks: "Sir, why did you want me to bring you a red shirt?"
The captain looks at him and says: "That way if I'm shot the men won't know it, and will keep fighting."
A couple days later, that same crew member comes up to the captain and says: "Sir! There's an enemy fleet on the horizon!"
The captain looks at the crew member and says: "Bring me my brown pants!"
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