favorite quote

[Pashunath]

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."  

[Yuki-Onna Reed]

Douglas Adams

"All right," said Ford, "imagine this. Right. You get this bath. Right. A large round bath. And it's made of ebony."
"Where from?" said Arthur. "Harrods was destroyed by the Vogons."
"Doesn't matter."
"So you keep saying."
"Listen."
"All right."
"You get this bath, see? Imagine you've got the bath. And it's ebony. And it's conical."
"Conical?" said Arthur. "What sort of..."
"Shhh!" said Ford. "It's conical. So what you do is, you see, you fill it with fine white sand, all right? Or sugar. Fine white sand, and/or sugar. Anything. Doesn't matter. Sugar's fine. And when it's full, you pull the plug out...are you listening?"
"I'm listening."
"You pull the plug out, and it all just twirls away, twirls away you see, out of the plughole."
"I see."
"You don't see. You don't see at all. I haven't got to the clever bit yet. You want to hear the clever bit?"
"Tell me the clever bit."
Ford thought for a moment, trying to remember what the clever bit was.
"The clever bit," he said, "is this. You film it happening."
"Clever," agreed Arthur.
"You get a movie camera, and you film it happening."
"Clever."
"That's not the clever bit. This is the clever bit, I remember now that this is the clever bit. The clever bit is that you then thread the film in the projector...backward!"
"Backward?"
"Yes. Threading it backward is definitely the clever bit. So then, you just sit and watch it, and everything just appears to spiral upward out of the plughole and fill the bath. See?"
"And that's how the Universe began, is it?" said Arthur.
"No," said Ford, "but it's a marvelous way to relax."

 

[mcm]

"We thought," Arthur said, "that you were meant to be telling the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth."
"Oh, that," said Prak, "yeah. I was. I finished. There's not nearly as much of it as people imagine."
I love that one.  

[mcm]

love this too.
The Universe - some information to help you live in it.

1 AREA: Infinite.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition of the word "Infinite."
Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow, that's big," time. Infinity is just so big that, by comparision, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.

2 IMPORTS: None.
It is impossible to import things into an infinte area, there being no outside to import things in from.

3 EXPORTS: None.
See Imports.

4 POPULATION: None.
It is known that there are an infinite amount of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. (I actually have this whole italicized bit in my IM profile)

5 MONETARY UNITS: None.
In fact there are three freely convertible currencies in the Galaxy, but none of them count. The Altairian Dollar has recently collapsed, the Flainian Pobble Bead is only exchangeable for other Flainian Pobble Beads, and the Triganic Pu has its own very special problems. Its exchange rate of eight Ningis to one Pu is simple enough, but since a Ningi is a triangular rubber coin six thousand eight hundred miles along each side, no one has ever collected enough to own one Pu. Ningis are not negotiable currency, because the Galactibanks refuse to deal in fiddling small change. From this basic premise i is very simple to prove that the Galactibanks are also the product of a deranged imagination.

6 ART: None.
The function of art is to hold the mirror up to nature, and there simply isn't a mirror big enough - see point one.

7 SEX: None.
Well, in fact there is an awful lot of this, largely because of the total lack of money, trade, banks, art or anything else that might keep the nonexistent people of the Universe occupied.
However, it is not worth embarking on a long discussion of it now because it really is terribly complicated. For further information see Guide Chapters seven, nine, ten, eleven, fourteen, sixteen, seventeen, nineteen, twenty-one to eighty-four inclusive, and in fact most of the rest of the Guide.
little long, isn't it. sorry.  

[Marisynos]

"But the plans were on display..."
"On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."
"That's the display department."
"With a flashlight."
"Ah, well, the lights had probably gone."
"So had the stairs."
"But look,you found the notice, didn't you?"
"Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard.'"
A cloud passed overhead. It cast a shadow over Arthur Dent as he lay propped up on his elbow in the cold mud. It cast a shadow over Arthur Dent's house. Mr. Prosser frowned at it.
"It's not as if it's a particularly nice house," he said.  

[Whip It Out!]

"Alright" Ford shouted at Arthur "So I'm a coward. But at least I'm alive!"


xD  

[i n c u b u s]

"We declared war!" #2 "But theres no one there!"Ford "Yea but there will be one day!" "Also we interigated a gazelle"  

[feintingfolly]

"In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

Zaphod: "Time is bunk"

Ford: "How would you react if I said I'm not from Guildford after all, but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?"
Arthur: "I don't know. Why, do you think it's the sort of thing you're likely to say?"  

[Animeistro]

"Zark off!!! scream "

((I can't remember who said it, it's just always stuck with me.))  

[Static Panda]

Ah! Ive got a couple.



Someone: Yep.
Author: Who was that?
Ford: The man with 6 heads and 7 arms?
Author: Yes.
Ford: Just someone.
Aurthor: Ah.


And another.. (These quotes arnt exact)..

"Theres an infinite ammount of monkeys outside and theyve just wrote a script for hamlet."  

[Clockwork Sun]

When Arthur was on Magrathea with Slartibartfast, chapter 31:

"It is well kown that careless talk cost lives, but the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated.
For instance, at the very moment Arthur said, 'I seem to be having tremendous dificulty with my life-style,' a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space time continuum and carried his words far far back in time across almost infinite amounts reaches of space to a distant Galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of a frightful interstellar battle.
The two opposing leaders met for the last time.
A dreadful silence fel across the conference table as the commader of the Vl'Hurgs, resplendant in his black jeweled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the G'Gugvuntt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling steam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the vile creature to take back what it had said about his mother.
The creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapor, and at that very moment the words I seem to be having tremedous dificulty with my life-style drifted across the conference table.
Unfortunately, in the Vl'hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries.
Eventually, of course, after their Galaxy had been decimated over a few thousand years, it was realized that the whole thing had been a ghastly mistake, and so the two opposing battle fleets settled their few remaining differences in order to launch a joint attack on our own Galaxy-now positively identified as as the source of the offending remark.
For thousands more years, the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming on to the first planet they came across--which happened to be the Earth-- where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale, the entire fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog."  

[Cracovin]

"Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.'
'But we have also,' continued the management consultant, 'run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship's peanut."

'"Thank you," it said "for making a simple door very happy."'

"It says that the effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick."

'"You're a jerk Dent."'  

[Angilwingz]

Wow, you guys these quotes are awsome.
I want to make a HHGG quote for my yearbook writeup next year, but I'm not sure they allow quotes anymore. sad  

[dudebro711]

az_bunni

"It commited suicide."
Marvin the depressed robot forever!
heart

You suck, Bunni. (We know eachother in real life...she KNOWS that's my favorite quote.)

Well...excluding what's been said above, I'll have to go with...

"I come in peace. Take me to your Lizard!"  

[dudebro711]

I would just like to say every above quote is amazingly good. I love these books.