[PRP] Uh... Not breaking anything this time, promise.

[Suudonym]

He folded his hands in his lap somewhat awkwardly, though it was more from a slight sense of embarrassment than plain discomfort - it was easy to remember how reluctant and noncompliant Luke had been compared to Dove's enthusiasm for the activity. "Live firing, every now and then. I go to the range once or twice a week and check out the lessons from time to time. Daily stuff is just practicing with a model, though." Because he still just couldn't bring himself to think he really needed a live firearm in his possession.  

[Tori Honoo]

She recognized his unease, but nodded as he spoke, a half laugh escaping as he offered his routine. "I should really change my scheduling..." she admitted, tucking her hair back again. "I've been told live firing is best done only a few times a week, and I've been in every day..." It was almost shameful to admit, in front of someone with such discomfort in the idea, but for herself, she felt it necessary. "So... If you ever want to practice with a model in the ranges..." she teased, trying to sound lighthearted as she shrugged a little. Offer made, she took a deep breath and let herself deflate again, shifting her hold on her sweater as she recrossed her legs. "I'm guessing you don't own one, then, right?"  

[Suudonym]

He nodded, the information sounding familiar. "Something about getting into a firing position quickly being more important than shooting accurately," he contributed with a shrug. He didn't pretend to know any more about it than he had been told be others with more knowledge and experience. "You're going to invite me?" he said, a faintly amused surprise in his tone. "Knowing what a major wet blanket I am?" Though half humored, the other half was serious - he was well aware that he wasn't generally a lot of fun to spend time around.

He shook his head slightly, "No… I know the ability doesn't do much good without the tool, but it's… I don't know. It still feels like it should be fine just to rely on my pokemon, even though I know that didn't work in Kanto."  

[Tori Honoo]

She nodded again, her smile a little more confident. "Yeah... Would you laugh if I told you I'd been practicing that part of it with a hairbrush?" she asked, again, lightheartedly, trying to lift the overall mood. His following question, however, made her head tilt, her brows furrowed a little in confusion. "Of course I would invite you... We have the same goal, I think, in that type of practice... and I'd actually like to run into you more often..." Her cheeks pinked a little, and she looked away into the sand. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, for her to spend time with him, given their weird relationship, but she spoke honestly. "I don't really know many people here--still-- but out of the few I do know, you've definitely shown me more kindness than I could ever hope to deserve from you." She took a deep breath, and wrapped her arms a little more tightly over her sweater, a slight surprise of her own sinking into her words. "And you're... actually proving really easy to talk to."

All of that said, she shook her head again, and laughed embarrassedly, attempting to return to the subject at hand. "I don't have one yet either, but I've looked into getting one. I'm going to get my license to carry before I actually buy one, though. It doesn't seem like it would do much good just sitting at home..." She looked to him again. "As much as I wish I could rely only on my team, I just... can't do that to them... I'm tired of just relying on body guards... and they're the closest family I have." Sparky had already been hurt too many times in her defense, and she couldn't imagine trying to rely on Lovey.

The eevee, from not too far away, whined softly in agreement with her comment on family, and moved to curl in the girl's lap around her own fluffy tail.  

[Suudonym]

"Probably cheaper than a model, huh?" he shrugged with a mild smile.

His first and instinctive response to her reasoning was to counter it, as though he couldn't accept hearing about good points without also adding drawbacks, "I take everything too seriously, though; I'm bad with jokes, and I always end up bringing up uncomfortable stuff." He tented and folded his hands intermittently. "I mean, I appreciate it and all, just… I don't know, don't give me so much credit?" The slight, nervous laugh that followed was a failing attempt to dismiss his awkward response - something that, he mentally noted, contributed fully to what he had said.

He listened to her reasoning on carrying more levelly, however, understanding the source of the sentiment. "It's kind of hard to think about," he said, frowning thoughtfully. "I mean, I don't want them to get hurt any more than I want anyone else to get hurt, but it seems kind of foolish to overlook the ability to breathe fire at someone's face on command. Like, maybe if I train them well enough, the chance of someone getting hurt wouldn't even exist, not even for them." He rubbed at the back of his head with an expression that recognized the naivety of his words. "I guess there's no way to guarantee that, but still… From the perspective of having been shot, I wouldn't want a gun to be anything more than a last resort."  

[Tori Honoo]

She only grinned, glad for his smile.

She listened readily as he started to tear himself apart, ready to step into debate with him if she had to, before she laughed in undeniable surprise, unable to help herself, though she was quick to stifle it by biting her lip and covering the lower half of her face for a moment. "I'm sorry, I just... Honestly, Luke, between the two of us, I think I'd win if it came down to uncomfortable conversation..." she told him, her cheeks furiously pink once more. Really with all the failed attempts she had made to speak with him before now, and everything that had happened with Asch. "I'm... horrible at saying the right thing and choosing safe topics."

She offered a look of deep apology, before looking away and tucking her hair back nervously again, shaking her head. "It's not bad to take things seriously... I wish I had taken more seriously when I was growing up." Another apologetic smile, as she turned back to him. "And I'm sorry... If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll refrain from voicing it and only just...think it instead."

She listened again as he spoke, and nodded, sobering a little. "Yes... I know what you mean. I honestly don't..." A deep breath and a pause. "The gun is just another level of security... I can't imagine actually using it, but... I feel guilty facing my team and honestly anyone else if I'm not trying, at the very least, especially when there are so many loop holes and things that could go wrong. Every defense we have should be taken up...as long as we can handle it." She paused again, rubbing her arm to drive away a chill from inside, rather than the breeze. "I've never tried to protect myself, let alone everyone else, so... This is the worst wake up call I could have ever imagined."  

[Suudonym]

Her humor took him by surprise, and he waited with some curiosity to hear the comments she offered, shaking his head slightly in response, "Uncomfortable things, I don't mind them so much. I mean, there are things that aren't fun to think about, sure, but it's not like thoughts or memories can hurt." There was a strange sense of recognition that the things he was saying weren't necessarily true, but that recognition didn't come with the simple understanding that he prioritized everyone else's comfort over his own. "Safe or unsafe topics… I appreciate the consideration, but I don't want anyone to feel like they have to tiptoe around me or anything. I'll, um… try to react to things better. Sorry." Probably wouldn't have much luck with that sense of humor, though.

For a while he was without words, entwined the thoughts that replied only silently. Eventually he spoke, his voice coming from someplace distant, "If I could change anything, I think it would be to make it so there's no need for the word 'protect.'"  

[Tori Honoo]

His words brought a soft frown to her face, before her expression fell into something much more blue. The smile she offered to cushion her words was sad. "That's not true... Some memories are crippling, and thoughts just..." She cut herself off swiftly. No, she wasnt going there.

She took a deep breath began to stroke Lovey as the eevee looked up to her from her lap. "It's not a matter of tiptoeing around you.... It's just common courtesy at this point, to at least think things out before speaking. To anyone, really. It's just hard when you're trying to be honest, though..." She shook her head. "You can't control your reactions... You really don't have to try so hard."

She respected his silence, waiting for anything, and smiled softly when he spoke up again. "You know, you say you couldnt be the hero and yet.." She shook her head, giving a quiet innocent laugh. "You really do seem to have a heart of gold." she looked away again. "What would you do without that word?"  

[Suudonym]

He shrugged lightly, "I don't know, I guess it's like… I'm not the most social person, so I would prefer not to ruin a conversation by being oversensitive and making the other person uncomfortable. I guess it's unrealistic to think I can always make things comfortable just by reacting in certain ways, though…"

He shook his head in a weak resistance against her appraisal, then paused to give thought to the question. "A word like 'protect' means there are things at stake, so I guess without it, we wouldn't have to worry about any kinds of threat or danger. …That's just about as naive as something like world peace, though, isn't it?"  

[Tori Honoo]

"It's hard enough to make things 'proper' and 'acceptable.' I can't even imagine trying to make people comfortable by the way I reacted to things." She grew quiet a moment again, a long moment, then used a free hand to play with the sand again as the other continued to stroke Lovey's back. She had certainly held her own, in making people uncomfortable with her actions. It seemed to herself that she had ruined much more than conversations, in some cases, though. "I can understand that, though." Gah, she was probably doing it now...

The resistance was met with a slight flash of regret, as she had just promised not to voice her thoughts on the matter. She listened carefully as he spoke, and nodded at the proper points, then shook her head at the end. "I wouldn't say naive... Maybe a little idealized, but I'm sure there's a safe place somewhere," Though the thought immediately made her curl in on herself slowly, her eyes again flicking out to the horizon. The idea had been very much on her mind lately...very, very much. Confliction and guilt set in deeply into her features.  

[Suudonym]

He gave a light shrug in acquiescence, "Maybe it's just an empty ideal." He wasn't typically very good at concealing the way he felt about things, after all, and typically felt quite strongly when it came to topics he found uncomfortable. Maybe an actor could pull it off, but he could only wish.

He frowned lightly in consideration of the words. "Sure there's a safe place somewhere," he confirmed, "but just a place is limited. I mean I could go home tomorrow and be safe there, but my friends would still be here fighting. I could take all my friends with me so we'd all be safe together, but the rest of Kodo would still have to deal with Team Rocket." He watched the ocean absently, somewhat forlorn in the thoughts he spoke aloud. "Even if we erased Team Rocket from Kodo, or from the entire planet, there would still be poverty and famine and violence…" He ducked his head in a small breath of a laugh, "But I guess if you think that broadly all the time, you can never really be satisfied."  

[Tori Honoo]

A safe place somewhere...

She stared at the sand in front of her, still withdrawn. "Yeah... My thoughts exactly," she finally voiced quietly. The first half, anyway. "And yet I feel guilty not going back, knowing some people here would give anything for the opportunity I do, even with all the cages at home." Not that she had done anything while in Kodo to actually help in the efforts to stop the criminal organization's reign or make actual friends that would miss her or want to come along. And really, even if she did have the ability, would she want to trap anyone in her old world? Would they even come with her? Doubtful. "Knowing that everyone else is here, but not knowing what they're going through, or being able to at least try to help. It's like trying to pick between living with constant danger and heartbreak, or surviving in a comfortable existence you should take full advantage of because others can't and the opportunity is wasted if you don't, but knowing all the while that terrible things are happening while you're puppeteered through some elaborate story you can't even write yourself."

Wait, what was she even talking about at this point?

A long, long pause, as she realized she had vented far too much, with someone she probably shouldn't even be talking to. "Yes, there would be-- that's been a battle since the beginning of time, though I think at this point it looks like Team Rocket might be even more impossible," she tossed in, in a likely failing attempt to draw attention from the rant that had been mostly to herself. "And no... it's pathetic, but some people can never be satisfied," she admitted quietly, her throat a little tight.  

[Suudonym]

"I'm not sure I agree with that entirely," he said mildly, drawing his feet in to sit cross-legged. "There are some opportunities that shouldn't be wasted, like an education or some other kind of enrichment, but there's a lot to be said for standing your ground even when you have the ability to run away. In a situation like this, every ally counts. There might be people that call you crazy for not playing it safe, but there would be even more that would appreciate your decision to face adversity in spite of fear or pain. That's what people call strength, and courage."

The smile he wore was small and resigned, "Maybe it's a bit greedy, thinking you could make the whole world happy, but I think it'd at least be nice to live as though it's possible."  

[Tori Honoo]

Oh, yes, good. At least they shared similar values on education "It's a little more complicated, I guess, when you're running from something in the first place and find... hell ...in what you thought was freedom," she sighed. "And when you're not sure if you're even capable of helping anyone." A quiet pause. "I guess it's worth a shot, though. Sorry..."

His smile would go mostly unnoticed, as she couldn't even bring herself to look at him for the moment, though she forced herself back into a lighter tone. "I don't know... maybe that in itself is what people call strength and courage."  

[Suudonym]

"All you can do is try," he said, the words soft in his voice. "Although I'm not really one to talk… After what happened in Kanto, I tried to leave to go back to Grande Ile. I was found out - and scolded for it - and decided to stay, if only because I didn't have the audacity to walk away in front of someone begging me not to. I… don't know if that was the right choice, but I know that I have a team that's getting a little stronger every day, and I know I have the resolve to hold a weapon if I need to. What I think I'm capable of isn't the important part. Running away when I have the ability to fight to protect those that can't - that's probably more disgraceful than forgoing the opportunity to hide away safely. That's why soldiers or police officers are so respected, right?"