[FIN] Barbecue on the Beach

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel hummed a little himself. It was something he could understand too, and perhaps even do himself sometime, although he didn't know if he ever would. The only scar he'd want to paint over was just as much internal as it was external, and why paint over something you'd still be able to feel every day? It didn't really seem like it'd be that effective, and so he hadn't ever really considered it too seriously.

But then Dith spoke again, and Abel took another sip of his beer, his gaze still on his boyfriend. His back, specially, and the burn scars there, but given the fact Zevran still had his back to them, his back was mostly all they could look at. And his butt too of course, but that didn't seem appropriate at the moment. "It certainly looks that way, doesn't it?" He asked in lieu of responding with a yes or a no, which didn't really feel that necessary. His boyfriend had plenty of scars scattered about, and with his shirt off just about anyone could see that much. Abel hummed a little again and sipped at his beer more before adding, "I'm hoping that was the last time it'll take one." Perhaps that was unrealistic, accidents did happen, but he at least felt safe in assuming the Crows wouldn't bother him again.  

[TawnyAngel]

That was a non answer if ever he'd heard one, Abel had to know that it was an obvious evasion. Perhaps he didn't care that it was obvious and just wanted the subject dropped but Dith found it hard not to pick at things, especially when they worried him. How many accidents could happen to and around a person before you were allowed to call them out on it clearly not being an accident?

"I hope so too," Dith said, his gaze drifting to Abel's perforated ear for a moment and then back to his beer; he took another sip. "You two have had some bad luck lately," he said to the bottle. "A lot of it, in fact. It almost seems like something's out to get you."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Pausing with his bottle halfway to his lips again, Abel frowned a little and lowered it again as he glanced over at Dith. "I remember telling you a couple things back in the hospital," he said, trying to recall exactly what it was he had said. He'd been utterly exhausted then, and stressed, and he hadn't really known what to say or how to say it, and; "I don't remember exactly what it was I told you, but I remember I said at least something about what happened." Something vague no doubt - or hopefully - but he'd at least said something. He was pretty sure it was vague. Hopefully Dith would be satisfied with that, and wouldn't keep poking at all the other bad luck and accidents he himself had had over the years because of Alyssa.  

[TawnyAngel]

Something, yes. Dith rubbed the scarred side of his face and made a soft noise of agreement. "Yes, about that at least. The other times though? You were having bad luck before you met him." Was it all connected, whatever it was? Had Abel's trouble found Zev? Or had Zev brought extra trouble? Abel's hope that there were no further marks in store had sounded relaxed though so perhaps whatever it was had been dealt with. Perhaps.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Of course. Of course he was going to sweep right past what happened to Zevran in the spring and pick at what had happened to him before that, before he'd met Zev. Of course. "Mmh." Abel frowned down at his bottle, just narrowly resisting the urge to rub at the old scars on his chest from when Alyssa had stabbed him. "I did have a bit of bad luck a few times, yes." Please let that be it. Please let him be satisfied with that, or if not satisfied - because he probably wouldn't be - then at least please let him stop asking questions. Please.

...he probably wasn't going to stop asking questions.  

[TawnyAngel]

"A bit of bad luck is a bit of an understatement," Dith pointed out, his tone and expression increasingly serious. "I worry about the two of you you know." Abel had indicated to him that things were dealt with but he didn't know if that was true, or if it was true if it was everything.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Of course he wasn't going to drop it. Abel exhaled and furrowed his brows, frowning down at his bottle. Not only was he not dropping it, he was laying on the guilt about it too. "What do you want me to say, Dith?" He asked, looking up at his friend finally, not bothering to hide the vague exasperation and frustration in his features. This was something Dith had poked at before, he was poking at now... Abel had a sneaking suspicion he'd just keep poking at it until he got at least some of what he was looking for. "It was bad luck in a manner of speaking but there weren't any accidents, but I think you already guessed that. I'm not going to tell you anything more than that though, so please don't ask about it again. Please. It's done, it's over with, I don't want to talk about it anymore -- I don't even want to think about it anymore," he admitted, aiming his frown down at his bottle again. Alyssa had weaseled her way into his head; even though she was dead, she wasn't completely gone. That was bad enough, and the dead knot in his chest made it worse. Was Dith really going to poke at it too and make it even worse?  

[TawnyAngel]

So he'd been right.

He wasn't happy about it, but he had been right.

Dith swigged from his bottle and then looked down into it silently for some moments. "I did. Bad luck... it happens. I spent a few days in a cell when I was younger - much younger - getting yelled at knocked around because of the paper my parents printed and...." He sighed, shook his head and rubbed his brow. "I'm not trying to deflect from you or one up or anything, I'm trying to... relate. And I just want to be sure that you're both alright now. I admit I'd like to know more than that, but if it's over with that's what matters. Bad things happen to decent people, I just want to know there aren't more people lurking in the shadows waiting to give you bad luck." If there were... If there were then if Abel would admit it, he could help. He hoped there weren't  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel sighed again, his shoulders slumping a little. He polished off the remainder of his beer before setting the bottle down in the sand for now; he'd put it in a bag for glass bottles in a little bit. This wasn't exactly what he'd been hoping for when he'd admitted that to Dith, but then again he didn't know what he had been hoping for. Maybe this was better. Either way this wasn't dropping it, this was continuing it, still talking about it, dancing around it. Abel lifted a hand to rub over his face. "Well... well." It wasn't.. the same, really - a jail cell for a few days didn't sound that bad, but being kicked around while there did - but Dith was trying to relate and not chastise him or anything of the sort. He was worried about him - about them both - and Abel couldn't be upset at him for that.

"I didn't know they printed a paper -- one other people didn't like," he admitted. "What was their problem with it?" Then he sighed, leaned back on one hand, and lifted the other to rub absently on the knife scar on his chest. "But, I'm fine. No one's lurking anywhere waiting for me anymore. Zevran... I'm pretty sure no one's lurking after him anymore either. If anyone was, I feel like they would've done something about it by now." He'd talked about this a little bit with Dith before, vaguely, but he hadn't told him too much, he didn't think. Should he mention anything else, like the kids, or should he not? Maybe not. Not yet. Hopefully that would be enough.  

[TawnyAngel]

Hu, so it had been separate things? It sounded like it. What had their troubles been? Zevran, he assumed, had been followed by a chequered past but Abel? Dith watched as the younger man rubbed at his chest, where he happened to know there was a scar from a stab wound. What had Abel got mixed up in, and how? It seemed like those were questions for another day though, if ever.

"Good," Dith replied with a decisive nod, an indication that he was prepared to move on. "As for the paper, the problem was that it criticised the state - very illegal. The NKVD kicked our door down one day and," Dith shrugged, "my father and I were arrested. I was released when my mother was able to persuade them of how old I was but Pa was sent to a labour camp. We didn't expect to see him again but we did, he was released under glasnost in eighty eight." It was strange to think that all of that was so long ago now; the world was a very different place, but no less dangerous and unpleasant in places.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

And just like that, it sounded like Dith was giving up on poking. At least for now. Abel inhaled deeply, dropped his hand from his chest, and flopped backwards onto the blanket as he let out the breath long and low. "That sounds..." He frowned as he gestured vaguely with one hand while trying to grope for an appropriate word, gave up, and continued, "Really shitty. Not that that's a good way to describe it, really, but I can't think of a better word at the moment, although I know something about how that feels. When did they first arrest him -- how long were you guys not expecting to see him for?" It wasn't the same, but he knew how it felt to have a family member taken away, to be left completely in the dark about if you'd ever see them again, or if they'd even be alive or in one piece if you ever did see them again. Had he ever told Dith about his sister? He'd mentioned it to some people but he couldn't remember if Dith had been one of those, although he didn't think he was. That sounded like too much depressing stuff to talk about during what was supposed to be a fun, upbeat beach barbecue.

Not that they'd done a very good job of keeping it upbeat with the topics Dith kept poking at, of course.  

[TawnyAngel]

Abel understood? Dith tucked the piece of information away for the time being and leaned back on his elbows beside his friend with a wry smile on his lips. "No, I think shitty is a perfect way to describe it. It was eighty-one when he was arrested, I was thirteen at the time. The sentence he was given was indefinite, a lot of people worked in those camps until they died but he was lucky - survived seven years in there. We didn't think we'd see him again, it was quite a surprise when he turned up one day!" Dith grinned and shook his head at the vivid memory. "That was a good day. I almost changed my plans to leave the country so that I could just be around him again but he wouldn't hear of it, it took months to organise anyway so we did get the chance to get to know one another again."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel returned the wry smile with a small one of his own, although it didn't reach his eyes, and draped one arm over his stomach and stuck the other under his head. "Seven years," he repeated in thoughtful tones, trying to wrap his mind around it. He'd spent a few months not knowing what happened to his sister, but they had hope they'd see her again. Dith had spent seven years not knowing, but not expecting to see him again -- perhaps not even hoping for it either, because at what point did you give up hope? Which was worse?

No, he knew which was worse, and that was hoping for something only to be disappointed. Completely, utterly, broken-heartedly disappointed.

"I'm glad he was alright though," he said in more normal tones, aiming another small smile at his friend that didn't quite reach his eyes again, "and that he came back to you guys. I can believe you would've wanted to cancel your plans for that! Was a few months before leaving enough though? Are you glad you left when you did?" His Dad insisted that he left even though he wanted to cancel the trip... did Dith regret going, or was he glad he did?  

[TawnyAngel]

"Mmh; it seemed longer at the time, not so long now." Dith took another sip of his beer, shook the bottle to determine how much was left, and then drained the last mouthful. "But yes things worked out for us," he continued as he twisted the bottle down into the sand for the time being and looked up at the blue sky above. "It didn't feel like enough back then; I was in a new country, speaking a language I wasn't so comfortable with, and trying to learn very technical things at the same time? It was hard. I had to commit a lot of time to sports too, hockey and boxing paid a lot of my way even if I really didn't like the second one much. I wouldn't change it now though, I made great friends - still talk to a lot of them regularly today. And my parents followed only three years later - by then I was settled, and there was a lot I could share with them that helped with their business."

Dith let out a heavy but contented sigh as he sat up and acquired himself another beer from his coolbox. "Sometimes the tough s**t is worthwhile, but in my experience you usually only find out one way or the other after the fact - a bit of a bugger if you're trying to decide whether or not the current thing is worth pushing through. In general I just wing it and try to pretend that I am a real adult."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"It always seems to drag on forever when it's happening, doesn't it? I'm glad it worked out for you though -- you and your parents. It must've been really tough though just after you left the country, especially if you didn't know as much of the language as would've been comfortable." Was that how Salome felt? Halcon at least seemed pretty fluent, but Salome seemed like she had a much smaller grasp of the language, and English was a difficult one to learn...

All of this was poking and prodding at feelings he didn't really want to think about at the moment - hearing about Dith's father reminded him of poor Amelia - but this was about Dith, not him and what happened to him. Way to be selfish.

Not that he could really help it.

Abel reached up to rub at his face again. "Winging it and pretending sounds familiar, I've definitely done that before."