You're Favourite Religious Quotes

[MeiGoddess]

Tenth Speed Writer

antiangel force

Tenth Speed Writer

Lee Retalis

Tenth Speed Writer

Just... no. No. -.-



This topic is exactly what I don't want to see in this guild. It promotes intolerance and hatrid of religion, and should be promptly locked and disposed of.


Thank you.

I wasn't trying to offend anybody.
I was just trying to have some fun. I am tolerant of religions, I live in a religious family and go to a catholic school.
I just don't like being serious all the time is all.

I'm sorry my attempts at humor caused such a problem for you...

Yeah, well get this. I will not stand for my guildmates to sink to the same level as certain Christian groups I'd like to avoid mentioning. You percieve yourself to be better than them in the same way they do you, so I'd advise you to take the moral high road this one time and *NOT* drop down to heckling them behind their backs.

Catholics? rofl rofl rofl rofl

I was gonna say Southern Baptists, but that'll work. xD

southern baptists are crazy. there so into everything. people down south i think are very religious.  

[MeiGoddess]

puresilver

"I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose."
-Clarence Darrow

"I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's a**."
-Senator Barry Goldwater

"I see only with deep regret that God punishes so many of His children for their numerous stupidities, for which only He Himself can be held responsible; in my opinion, only His nonexistence could excuse Him."
-Albert Einstein

"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

"Geology shows that fossils are of different ages. Paleontology shows a fossil sequence, the list of species represented changes through time. Taxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution is the explanation that threads it all together. Creationism is the practice of squeezing one's eyes shut and wailing 'does not!'"
-Unkown

"Worship me or I will torture you forever."
-God

and that last quote is exactly why i dont worship him. so selfish and rude. it pisses me the ******** off.

sorry for my language.  

[Tenth Speed Writer]

MeiGoddess

Tenth Speed Writer

antiangel force

Tenth Speed Writer

Lee Retalis

Tenth Speed Writer

Just... no. No. -.-



This topic is exactly what I don't want to see in this guild. It promotes intolerance and hatrid of religion, and should be promptly locked and disposed of.


Thank you.

I wasn't trying to offend anybody.
I was just trying to have some fun. I am tolerant of religions, I live in a religious family and go to a catholic school.
I just don't like being serious all the time is all.

I'm sorry my attempts at humor caused such a problem for you...

Yeah, well get this. I will not stand for my guildmates to sink to the same level as certain Christian groups I'd like to avoid mentioning. You percieve yourself to be better than them in the same way they do you, so I'd advise you to take the moral high road this one time and *NOT* drop down to heckling them behind their backs.

Catholics? rofl rofl rofl rofl

I was gonna say Southern Baptists, but that'll work. xD

southern baptists are crazy. there so into everything. people down south i think are very religious.

I live in WEST ALABAMA.

I go to AMERICAN CHRISTIAN Academy in TUSCALOOSA.


So yeah, I can pretty much tell you about southern baptists.  

[Niveous]

MeiGoddess

puresilver

"I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose."
-Clarence Darrow

"I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's a**."
-Senator Barry Goldwater

"I see only with deep regret that God punishes so many of His children for their numerous stupidities, for which only He Himself can be held responsible; in my opinion, only His nonexistence could excuse Him."
-Albert Einstein

"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

"Geology shows that fossils are of different ages. Paleontology shows a fossil sequence, the list of species represented changes through time. Taxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution is the explanation that threads it all together. Creationism is the practice of squeezing one's eyes shut and wailing 'does not!'"
-Unkown

"Worship me or I will torture you forever."
-God

and that last quote is exactly why i dont worship him. so selfish and rude. it pisses me the ******** off.

sorry for my language.

Oh wow.... I love these quotes!

::huggles you::

Thanks.

Brought me a smile to hear them
You know my grandpa met Einstein...I'm jealous. smile


Also, those in Full Metal Alchemist are pretty cool too.

There was another one....I forget how it went exactally.

"Get too close to the sun and all you'll do is burn."
They were all mostly from that episode with Father Cornello and the two of them convincing Rose not to get too attached to the fathers preachings.  

[Sanddru]

None


I have no reason to try and provoke religious people, just like they should have no reason to try and provoke me

Nor do I feel the need to advertice with my personal 'beliefs'  

[AnonymouZ]

Abusive Mana

None


I have no reason to try and provoke religious people, just like they should have no reason to try and provoke me

Nor do I feel the need to advertice with my personal 'beliefs'

Having no reason does not mean they will ever stop thinking of you as being evil because you don't think like them. Besides, i think the hypocrite in all of us don't mind poking fun of them behind the courtains, where their christian feelings won't be hurt. Or maybe it's just moi. This pic below describes my feelings about double standards.

 

[Ruminating Skeptic]

Niveous

Also, those in Full Metal Alchemist are pretty cool too.

There was another one....I forget how it went exactally.

"Get too close to the sun and all you'll do is burn."
They were all mostly from that episode with Father Cornello and the two of them convincing Rose not to get too attached to the fathers preachings.

I forgot about that one, it's good too. I just watched the first four episodes last night, and either the subs were way off or I was... I'm thinking the subs since they put yeah when Ed said nani O.o.

For those who don't know, nani means what.

And then I was calling cornello a stupid b*****d, and the townspeople cowards, and my friend told me to stop talking to the screen stare

rofl that comic is awesome.  

[Theophrastus]

I never fail to be entertained by the slogans that middle-of-the-road churches like to put on their marquees.

Things like ...

"Come to C-H- -R-C-H. What's missing?"

"Seven days without Jesus makes one weak."

"If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms."

Is this s**t supposed to be clever? Who are you trying to lure? My ******** gramma? biggrin



Getting better...



Ah. Finally. One I can enjoy.  

[Tenth Speed Writer]

Theo:


The one about mothers is. xD


There's a church just near my house that always has the corniest things on their sign. Occasionally, it'll be some true advice, or a biblical quote relevant to recent events, but usually it's some awful pun or bad play on words.  

[ProjectOmicron88]

"If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion, provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age, or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time."

--Bertrand Russell  

[Arios V]

I find this picture funny:

 

[Theophrastus]

I think it's a photshop. But it's still funny. I'd pay for all the paint if someone really wanted to go up and vandalize a sign like that. XD  

[Arios V]

I think it's doctored as well, but it's still true for the most part.

Also, I would do it, but there aren't any billboards in my area that have this message (Actually, my area doesn't even have billboards)  

[LadyDarcia]

This is actually part of an article, not a quote, but what the hell.

New Yorker: Playoffs by Shalom Auslander

When I was a child, my parents and teachers told me about a man who was very strong. They told me he could lift mountains. They told me that he could part the sea. They told me that it was important to keep this man happy: when we obeyed what the man had commanded, he liked us. He liked us so much that he killed anyone who didn't like us. But when we didn't obey what he had commanded the man didn't like us at all. He hated us. Some days he hated us so much that he killed us; other days he let other people kill us. We call these days "holidays." On Purim, we remember how the Persians tried to kill us. On Passover, we remember how the Egyptians tried to kill us. On Hanukkah, we remember how the Greeks try to kill us. "Blessed is He," we prayed. As bad as these punishments could be, they were nothing compared with the vengeance the man himself meted out: plagues, famines, floods. Hitler may have killed the Jews, but this man drowned the world. This was the song we sang about him in kindergarten: God is here, God is there, God is truly everywhere! Then snackes, and a fitful nap. I was raised in the largely Orthodox Jewish town of Monsey, New York. Saturday mornings found me dressed in a sky-blue suit and brown clip-on tie, walking the leafy streets to synagogue. My father marched alongside me in a starched white shirt and a grey fedora, his heels hammering the pavement as we overtook the slower members of the congregation. Every so often, a car passed by (people from the nearby towns of Suffern and Pomona, out for a scenic drive) and I would feel a surge of pride at the solemn picture we made: fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, all of us out to warm ourselves by the soothing fire of our belief. Then my father would step into the road and shake his fist, shouting at the drivers to slow the hell down. "Ahnta-Semitin," he grumbled in Yiddish. Anti-Semites. "Kill a Jew, then you'll be happy." Monsey was a pretty town where everything was forbidden. One was forbidden to drive on the Sabbath, one was forbidden to take four steps without a yarmulke, one was forbidden to eat meat with dairy. Having eaten meat, one had to abstain from dairy for six hours; having eaten dairy, one had to abstain from meat for three hours. One was always forbidden to eat pig, at least until the Messiah arrived. Only then, Rabbi Goldfisher taught us in the fourth grade, would the wicked be punished, the dead be resurrected, and the pigs be kosher. "Yay!" I said, high-fiving my best friend, Dov. Rabbi Goldfisher fixed a furious gaze upon us. "You should be so excited," he said, "on the Day of God's Judgement." The people of Monsey were terrified of God, and they taught me to be terrified of Him, too. I learned that Sarah would one day laugh at Him, so He made her barren; that Job, completely ruined, had asked "Why?" and God had come down to earth, taken him by the collar, and howled, "Who the hell do you think you are?" In early autumn, when the leaves choked, turned colors, and fell to their deaths, everyone gathered together in synagogues across the town and wondered, aloud and in unison, how God was going to kill them: Who by water and who by fire, who by sword, who by beast, who by famine, who by thirst, who by storm, who by plague, who by strangulation and who by stoning. Then lunch, and a fitful nap.

 

[cup_noodles]

Arios V

I find this picture funny:

Brillant.