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purpleravenhawk
Captain

PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 7:02 pm
20. What’s your favorite joke?
The following is a conversation overheard as Bill Gates was moving into his new home.
Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."
Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"
Bill: "Uh, yeah.. the first issue is the living room. We think it's a little smaller than we anticipated."
Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date."
Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."
Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room; or you can use a Stacker."
Bill: "Stacker?"
Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch.. the chairs on the table.. etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done."
Bill: "Uh..I dunno..issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The treads run the wrong way."
Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."
Bill "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round not rectangular. How do I fix that?"
Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."
Bill: "You're kidding!?"
Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."
Bill: "Well..I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have guest over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."
Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other fixtures."
Bill: "And how do I fix that?"
Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then you can get back to work."
Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?"
Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it nobody made you buy it."
Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"
Contractor: "Oh, in your next house--which will be ready to release sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays.."
 
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 5, 2, 6, 6, 4, 4 Total: 27 (6-36)
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 12:29 am
481. Does everyone at school know your name, and NOT because you're popular? No

(That was a pretty good joke purple!)  

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 2, 4, 4, 1, 2, 1 Total: 14 (6-36)

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:36 am
482. Do you sit with the other team’s fans at sporting events? Yes  
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 4, 4, 1, 1, 1, 5 Total: 16 (6-36)
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:39 am
483. Have you ever asked the marine recruiters if, by joining the marines, it’s a requirement to tuck your pants into your boots? No  

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 4, 5, 2, 5, 5, 2 Total: 23 (6-36)

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:42 am
MUSIC
484. Do you often spontaneously start dancing, without music? No  
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 2, 2, 5, 5, 3, 5 Total: 22 (6-36)
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:45 am
485. Do you dance to the muzak in grocery stores? Some times  

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 4, 1, 1, 3, 1, 2 Total: 12 (6-36)

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:52 am
486. Do you like to make up words to a completely instrumental song while the song is playing? Yes  
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 4, 4, 2, 3, 3, 6 Total: 22 (6-36)
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:53 am
487. Do you compulsively invent new lyrics for songs (e.g. "loving Shoe was like loving Shoe's dad")? No  

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 6, 1, 4, 4, 6, 6 Total: 27 (6-36)

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:56 am
488. Do you entertain yourself by playing music at insanely high volume that nobody else but you would like? No  
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 6, 2, 4, 1, 4, 2 Total: 19 (6-36)
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:59 am
489. Have you ever called a radio station to dedicate a song to yourself? Yes  

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 2, 1, 2, 2, 2, 1 Total: 10 (6-36)

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:02 am
490. Do you and your friends each have a "theme song"? Not yet  
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 3, 3, 6, 4, 2, 5 Total: 23 (6-36)
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:04 am
491. Do you think Weird Al Yankovic is really goddamn sexy? No  

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 3, 6, 1, 2, 4, 4 Total: 20 (6-36)

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:05 am
492. Have you ever contemplated which Insane Clown Posse member is sexier? No  
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 3, 5, 2, 6, 3, 6 Total: 25 (6-36)
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:06 am
493. Do you like going to punk concerts just for the opportunity to sweat in new and exciting places while rubbing up against total strangers? No  

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
Moonracer rolled 6 6-sided dice: 1, 2, 3, 6, 5, 4 Total: 21 (6-36)

Moonracer
Vice Captain

Demonic Gatekeeper

50,640 Points
  • Friend of the Goat 100
  • Frozen Sleuth 100
  • Shady Hands Squad 250
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:06 am
494. Do you think "Jewish Nazis for Christ" would be a good name for a band? Yes  
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