Things Resident Evil characters would NEVER say

[Garcian Smith]

Alfred: Mmmm, Steve sandwich....  

[Vinessa_Valentine]

RE4 parody, in the house with Ashley and Luis.

Luis: So, the President even equipted his daughter with ballistic defenses!

*She growls at him and jerks her head to the side, a cheap-efect shokc travels over her body*

Leon: What the-

*Two turrets poke our of her boobs, and Leon runs at Luis, tackling him to the ground as the villagers bust through the windows, Ashley lighting them up*

Leon: HOLY s**t! SHE'S A FEM-BOT!!!

*Luis is cowaring as he huddles on his side with Leon*

Luis: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!  

[Ithmara]

Usagi Ninja

Wesker: I'm a little tea pot, short and stout...

Hmm a tea pot? very interesting... (sarasm) I can surely picture Wesker doing that... blaugh  

[Uenna]

Wesker: My favourite colour is pink. heart  

[Lord Travis]

Wesker: Owwie crying
Chris: Are you gonna be okay?
Wesker: I jammed my finger. crying
Chris: That sucks.
Wesker: Could you pull my finger to unjam it?
Chris: Sure. *pulls Wesker's finger*
Wesker: *farts* Hah! You fell for the oldest trick in the book.  

[Kouichi Pendolse]

Ashley: The ponies must die *___* *cocks gun*
Leon: Not the ponies!!!! *clings and gets kicked by cow*
Krauser: Whaaaaaaaaat? You little b***h! *gets pistol whipped by Ada*
Ada: *clings to Leon* How's my poor widdle baaaaaaabyyyyyyyyyy?! *pets*
Ashley: *shoots up with 'Jublies'* I am a fem-bot >XDDDD  

[Vinessa_Valentine]

Kouichi Pendolse

Ashley: The ponies must die *___* *cocks gun*
Leon: Not the ponies!!!! *clings and gets kicked by cow*
Krauser: Whaaaaaaaaat? You little b***h! *gets pistol whipped by Ada*
Ada: *clings to Leon* How's my poor widdle baaaaaaabyyyyyyyyyy?! *pets*
Ashley: *shoots up with 'Jublies'* I am a fem-bot >XDDDD

You should give me credit for that last part... mad  

[Knights of the Realm]

Vinessa_Valentine

RE4 parody, in the house with Ashley and Luis.

Luis: So, the President even equipted his daughter with ballistic defenses!

*She growls at him and jerks her head to the side, a cheap-efect shokc travels over her body*

Leon: What the-

*Two turrets poke our of her boobs, and Leon runs at Luis, tackling him to the ground as the villagers bust through the windows, Ashley lighting them up*

Leon: HOLY s**t! SHE'S A FEM-BOT!!!

*Luis is cowaring as he huddles on his side with Leon*

Luis: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

Aw, man, that's funny! ^_^  

[Vinessa_Valentine]

Oh I've got another one, may not be as funny...

*Any RE hero after hearing the main bad-guy's plan*

OF COURSE!!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!  

[Mr. Kennedy]

Chris: I wonder why Wesker always mentions "The monster in chains..."
ELSEWHERE!
Wesker: "So... You seeing anyone?"
Lisa: >.> *chain slaps*
Wesker: I like them rough.  

[PropMistress]

This is more like something they'd never DO.
Alice is running down the building...and trips "Ouch."

Alice, picking up the phone: "Evil Umbrella Research Facility. This is....ummm.....gosh....what's my name again?"  

[Ithmara]

Yay more goods ones have been posted! Thank god the guilds have been put back up or else I would've been on a major withdrawal! xd  

[Garcian Smith]

Jill: JOSEPH!!!
Frost: It's ok I'm fine!
Jill: K, lol  

[Izchi]

>.> <.<

Tyrant: I'm so... pretty~ Oh so pretty~ Oh so pretty and witty and... gaaayy~  

[Das Jabberwockie]

"I love everyone." Nicholai'd probably die six times over before saying that, but I'd like to see him say it gritting his teeth or twitching. xd

"Seig Heil! HEIL HITLER!" I just can't see Krauser doing that. No matter how Nazi-ish he may act when it comes to restoring Umbrella.