Corrupt a Wish

[FiliaFlammae]

Granted. Now it gives you neck pains, butt pains, and leg pains.

I wish I had some strawberry yogurt.  

[Saga Shadow]

Your strawberry yougurt is molded.

I wish I could put my thoughts coherently on paper.
btw, I don't even have a significant other to dump me in the first place. corruption failed.  

[FiliaFlammae]

Granted, but now you can never put your pencil down because you keep thinking up new stuff.

I wish I were allowed to have pets in my dorm.

(You could have met an SO sometime in the four weeks you skipped over.)  

[Saga Shadow]

Granted, but nobody has housetrained their pets, and they all mark their territory in front of your door.

I wish the sun would come out.

(No, i couldn't have. If you knew me at all, you would realize that)  

[FiliaFlammae]

Granted. It's sizzling hot for the next week straight, your skin peels away, and you die from dehydration.

I wish there were unicorns.

(If you say so, I'm staying out of this one...)  

[Saga Shadow]

The unicorns are actually vicious hunters that stab their prey (in this case you) with their horns

I wish that I wasn't so itchy! stupid dry skin!  

[FiliaFlammae]

Granted. Now your skin is so healthy and gorgeous that every person you talk to has to touch and stroke your face in awe.

I wish I had a good-looking fursuit of my 'sona.  

[Saga Shadow]

granted, but fursuits are expensive. you're now in debt for around $1000

I wish I had some extra money  

[Hogosha neko]

The feline says...

Granted, but you now only have one extra cent.

I wish I could get the 500gig 7200RPM hard drive i want for the empty tray in my laptop.

....and means it.

 

[Saga Shadow]

Your computer gets smashed by a burgler and you don't have enough money to buy a new one.

I wish for cake! (both the band and the food)  

[FiliaFlammae]

Granted, but all the band members now live in your home and everybody has to walk through a two-foot-deep swamp of mushed cake to get from room to room.

I wish I were a Pokémon.  

[Saga Shadow]

granted, but you're a metapod.

I wish that I could fly  

[FiliaFlammae]

Granted. Your wings must be more than three times your body size to keep you aloft, so your appetite quadruples and you can't sleep comfortably anymore.

I wish for a flux capacitor-equipped DeLorean.  

[00Shoe]

Granted; you are sent back in time and it breaks down, and there is no Doc to fix it.

I wish I has better control over my time during the day.  

[Saga Shadow]

You're now master of time and space, like Hiro Nakamura, but you don't survive the brain tumor. If your mom had healing powers like his, then maybe you would have survived.

I want my jetpack and flying car. IT'S 2010, SCIENTISTS!!!