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No need to exclude me. Physicality is not enough for me. Just like your typical girl I need the emotionality in there. Gimme the looooooooove! xd

Actually Dude I don't believe physical attraction is only about appearance. Plenty of people have said things like "omg I want his babies" over factors that aren't about appearance. Perhaps he's a musician and that really gets your bones going, or his certain mindset/beliefs totally jive with yours and that gets you going too.

When I was questioning Purple about it I was just wanting to clear up what she meant, not so much challenge her. lol

edit: Wait, maybe the physical attraction isn't only about appearance for me because I'm a femmey gay guy. lol...

Dude, the physical self and the mental self are directly connected. It's not an either-or choice. If a guy has a mental quality that turns a girl off, it won't matter how hot he is.

"Worth all this trouble"? We're talking about human beings here. If you're not interested in a serious relationship, then obviously it's not going to be "worth it." But if all you want is the sex, you need to say that from the start. There are enough girls that are into that; you don't need to be wooing the girls who want more.

So if you think it's not fair that girls require more emotional attraction, do you admit it's not fair that all guys care about is physical appearance?

When any relationship ends, everybody has their own story about whose fault it is. That's not a girl thing. In 80-90% of all endings, both people are at fault to some extent. And they're both gonna blame the other one.

Maybe girls insist on apologies because guys tend to act like everything is the girl's fault, even when it's not. You may not ask for the apology, but you sure know how to make a girl feel like she's ******** up your life for you.

Pacification does not work. Cuz she will find out that you didn't mean it, and that'll make everything worse. You want to fix something? Be honest and pay attention. Girls just want to be treated like they're important and "worth the trouble." Far as I can tell, most guys never mean what they say because they don't care and all they want is to get into the girl's pants. Which, as I said, is unnecessary since there are plenty of girls who are looking for sex too.

You want to talk about pressure; how about the pressure for girls who are expected to be physically beautiful all the time or their guy treats them like dirt? Some girls are certainly more emotionally needy, but others just want some attention that doesn't necessarily lead to sex.

The "emotional baggage" doesn't seem to be equal to the pressure guys put on girls, either. So maybe it's all even?

I'm curious where you get your info, tho. You don't know that many people. confused

Purple:

*sigh* point taken.
But the hard part is finding a girl that's open to just having sex.
I mean, how do you even ask that question without getting an unfairly judgemental kick to the nuts every time you ask the wrong girl.
It's not easy to tell the difference between the girls just from a look.

Yes, I'll agree to that.
It isn't fair that guys put so much pressure on appearance that girls practically go crazy just trying to look hot. (but I'm still not changing my definition of hot) *nods*

*sigh* True and true.
I guess those 2 are just more things that depends on the person.

What happened to the concept of "Girls don't want to hear the truth, they just want to be told they're right all the time" - And as for that last part, it links to my first paragraph.

Attention that doesn't lead to sex?
Wouldn't that be classified as just friendship?

LOL
Point made smile

Where do you think I get my info, from talking to people online that have had these experiences, Both women AND men rant online when they're upset about something.
Though it IS true that the places I hang out don't have that many women, so even I know that I'm only getting one half of any story because of it.





Iakun:
Actually that didn't sound aggressive at all. You made a very sound statement that frankly I can't argue with.
You're right, alot of people trash the concept of marrage, but it's because of what it has become.
Alot of people put ALOT of pressure on the idea of not having any sex at all until after marrage. So what do people do? They get married the second they can just to have sex.
That's not what marrage is suppose to be about, and THAT is the type of marrage that I was trashing.
I'm sorry if I didn't make myself clear, but I hear about these OVERLY sudden marrages all the time, and after so much, I forget that there are ACTUALLY people out there that still hold the more romantic side of the concept.

A lot of people say marriage is what we make of it. Well, if we trash it and don't take it seriously, we were the ones that degraded it to begin with so it's our choice to take it seriously again or not. But clearly we don't and/or won't considering how we even have wedding drive-thru's in Vegas.

As for the sex thing, well, you have to be upfront with what you want. Couples never seem to discuss the really important things; you need to be honest about your needs and expectations of your relationship with the person you're with. If you just want to enjoy your time with them and have a little sex here and there, say it. EARLIER THAN LATER. lol

What depresses me is that everyone these days starts with casual dating when they meet someone which almost always involves sex within the first week or 2 of getting to know each other. God, that is just way too soon to be naked and intimate with another human being to me. Apparently that makes me a prude. I think people are too quick to jump into bed. But then again, I've always valued something more serious than just a casual relationship.

@Purple specifically: I think the problem is a lot of people don't have very involved, wise parents to really tell them what relationships are about so everyone ends up being relationship dysfunctional. lol

I'm mostly myself online. The one thing that I wish I could easily change is how ranty I can get.

I still feel iffy about sex early on, but I think more specifically what irks me is the expectation that has now developed for sex to happen early on. Almost everyone I've witnessed in these discussions online pretty much says if they had to wait more than a month to have sex with someone then they'll end the relationship.

Isn't it bad enough that we're pressured to look perfect but now we have the expectation to be super intimate before we're even ready? I'm already screwed for relationships then lol

Purple:
If I seem obsessed with it, it's because I'm always hearing horror stories about girls that over-react like that to every little thing a guy does.

I don't like pain at all.
And I don't have the money for a surgery to fix the damage that being hit REALLY hard there could do (let alone the fact that I'd rather just be shot in the head for an insta-kill then live through that amount of intense pain). So forgive me for being a little paranoid, but I'd rather be safe then sorry. And if assuming all women over-reacts like that, helps me stay away from them and be safe... So be it!

I guess everyone likes to be right.
But I've never heard a girl say... "just tell him that he's right, even when he's not"

That's true.
My idea of a great relationship is being able to hang out and do stuff together, like watching anime, and playing video games. Sex would be like the icing on the cake. But finding a girl as open about it as I am would be hard. Especially if you're trying to avoid those that over-react to everything. (also finding one that wouldn't demand I give up hentai would be important too) ^.^

Yes, the net is mostly over-reactions.
But horror stories are still horror stories.
And you are indeed unusual - LOL


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Iakun:
"wedding drive-thru's"? That's just wrong on SOO many levels >_>
"you need to be honest about your needs and expectations of your relationship with the person you're with" - "EARLIER THAN LATER" Sadly it's like the whole world is stupid about these things. (minus exceptions of course)

LOL - what's wrong with casual sex? ^.^

"relationship dysfunctional" - I like that term ^.^

You? Ranty? Nah ^.^

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"bed-bouncing" ?
That's one I've never heard before o.o`

There are lots of things expected of people that aren't fair.
But unfortunately it's one of those things that get passed from one generation to the next.

As for "what happened to me" ?
It's clear. I hate being told what to do.
So obviously I did the exact opposite of what I was told ^.^
Remeber, you were the "good kid" and I was the "squeeky wheel" that got alot (though not everything) he asked for just to shut him up.

Men have to give in to a lot of what women want though. I die a little inside whenever I watch those wedding shows on tv. Every bride is so a**l about her wedding, a total bridezilla. Even if the guy is of the variety to be interested in planning, she lets him have no say in the wedding preparations.

That's only one example of how men often have no say in a lot of stuff.

"As for "what happened to me" ?
It's clear. I hate being told what to do.
So obviously I did the exact opposite of what I was told ^.^
Remeber, you were the "good kid" and I was the "squeeky wheel" that got alot (though not everything) he asked for just to shut him up."

Typical adolescent behavior. lol Hmm me and my sister... I'm the one that got everything I wanted and she always had to work with no help for what she wanted. Part of why my sister is so bitter towards me now.

Okay, the wedding thing is an odd sort of standout. I honestly don't know what happens to some women when they get married. But again, it's not all women. I could name two women I personally know who had extremely simple weddings and were very relaxed about suggestions.

I know there are things that men don't get a say in. I'm just saying that women pacify men a lot too. At least, an equal amount.

Dude: The way I've had it described to me (by a man), it's more of a sick pain than a feeling that you need surgery. We are talking about the same thing, right? But why would you assume that all women are going to kick you in the nuts? That's just as bad as assuming all men are rapists. I think there must be more than internet horror stories at work in your brain, here. Don't tell me this is another one of your "she's saying one thing, so I'm gonna say the opposite" reactions. Cuz this conversation is so over if that's the case.

I didn't say I was afraid to walk outside at night by myself. But a lot of women I know are. Yes, I'm a bit nervous about it (more because of potential muggings than anything else), but I refuse to let such paranoid, socially-reinforced feelings rule my life. You might think about that yourself. And yes, it may be an overreaction, but women have had this image of themselves and the world drilled into their heads from the age of 3, that strange men are bad and we are weak, helpless kittens. Stupid society. scream

When it comes to physical appearance standards, EVERYONE has to lower theirs. Everyone.

Well, I can tell who overreacts by looking at them. ninja

Not all mothers pacify the whole house. Just ours. And others of her kind. But it's still a valid example. Everyone is somebody's daughter or son, and most people are somebody's mother, wife, husband, or father. Getting married doesn't make a woman pacify her man more (and remember, all wives were once girlfriends). Sometimes, it means she pacifies him less. And most mothers quit coddling their kids around 18-20. Sometimes earlier.

In psychological terms, the human mind categorizes people into three groups: family, potential mates, and enemies. As much as we've changed, we still do this subconsciously. There's less in the Enemy group because today's society requires that people attack each other with spears much less than we used to. So even if you don't consciously recognize an attachment to someone, your subconscious has already slotted them into the Family or Mate category (or Enemy if you REALLY don't hit it off). Some people are special and can slip in and out of both groups, depending on where you are in life. But what this means is that for anyone that a woman has spent enough time with to get to know, she's put him in a familiar category. Subconsciously, all men are any woman's husband, son, father, brother, etc. It's a rare woman who puts such emphasis on familial attachments as our mother has. What I'm trying to say is that if a modern woman pacifies her household, she'll likely do the same for people outside her household.

On a personal note, I wish you'd get over your issues with women. Mom told me you talk like you hate or despise all women, and your internet musings do not convince me otherwise. As your sister, it makes me sad and uncomfortable to think that you hate me (I'm a woman, remember?). It also makes me wonder why you're still here. I mean, what is this, I tell you about the negative effects of extreme hentai on the viewer's psyche, and you start exhibiting the symptoms? Is that coincidence? Another of your stupid opposite games? What?