[Fin] Clear the Air

[TawnyAngel]

"No," KO frowned slightly, "we started talking about what you're interested in because you started talking about what you're interested in, not because I'd stopped talking about what... happened. With the mission. You started talking about what you had done with training Clancy and what you wanted to get done to fix the damage you took on the previous mission. After that it led onto," he waved his glass, "more about you. And I talked about possibly being dead, for like... a few minutes. Maybe. And I said that I don't...." He had to stop for a moment there to control his voice, it had been threatening to crack. "I didn't enjoy the near death experience. What else can I say about it? Do you want to hear about the pain, the terror, the certainty that that was it?"

KO stopped talking again then, blinked rapidly and swallowed hard. He shouldn't have drunk so much so fast. He felt cold, alone, lost, afraid, tired, and he didn't know what to do with all of it. He didn't even know if he was angry with Lex, with Team Rocket, with the world, with himself.... It was like everything just didn't quite fit anymore. He'd died. He'd been dead. And here was Lex - his friend - threatening to go and leave him to 'brood alone'. He swallowed again and tried to wipe his eyes discreetly, but given Lex was looking right at him he doubted he managed the discreet part.

"Why did you ask me out then?" he asked eventually, his voice quiet and devoid of its usual sparkle or snap. He was tired. He didn't really want to be alone. "You can go if you want to.... but I'd rather you didn't."  

[Shaddaling]

"KO..." Lex paused before getting up and saying ******** it, leaned in and sought out to hug the other tight. "I have my reasons, lot of it is because I really do care about you and you died on me. I thought you were dead and gone and you come back and during a time where I'm running on natural high and just a mess of emotions and then I managed to make a total mess of everything."


"And we finally talk and it okay but you don't want to talk about that I don't think. Don't blame you so I changed topics around cause I do that... and glad to make you laugh. Think you needed it." He murmured, steamrolling. "And it just odd right now because there distance and I don't know how to get you to talk about things that are bothering you cause I know they are."

"And I'm horrible, horrible person." He finished.  

[TawnyAngel]

KO tried to laugh but it didn't really work. "Of course you are. So am I. We're the bad guys remember?" He lent against Lex but he didn't return the hug because he was still holding his drink and also because he just didn't. He wasn't used to being comforted. He didn't follow Lex's logic, first saying he'd known he didn't want to talk about it and so had changed the topic but then trying to get him to talk about it? But then Lex? Logic? That was like.... Yeah he'd drunk too much, he couldn't put the right end of the sentence in there. He wiped his eyes again and shrugged.

"Talking about things that bother me isn't really what I do in case you hadn't hitherto gathered during our acquaintance, Pulsar. You know me, dancing through life, everything slides off." Except things that didn't. He dealt with those in the end though, mainly through not thinking about them until there was enough distance to dilute the hurt. It was hard not to think about this though because he couldn't get away from it, he couldn't ditch this life and drive off into the sunset like he had when Galactic - and everything that had mattered most to him back then - had fallen apart.  

[Shaddaling]

"I know, I know... doesn't mean though that I shouldn't ask. Or try, because then I feel like I'm ignoring you or something." Lex snuggled, since KO wasn't squirming away or telling him to stop, just reassuring him that KO was still about.

"And you are a horrible liar cause you are trying to be cool and suave but it does hurt," Lex sighed, pulling back regretfully and grabbed KO hand. "But for now, that just watch horrible stupid movies and get drunk."

"Cause I think we are more then halfway there."  

[TawnyAngel]

"You're only half way?" KO muttered. "I think I'm already practically wasted.... Seems nearly dying doesn't do anything for your alcohol tolerance. But, yeah, let's just watch the movie?" He didn't want to talk any more right now.  

[Shaddaling]

"Probably more then half... now get on the bed, Naos." Lex grumbled trying to pull the other along those last few feet. "Cause I want you to be my snuggle buddy in an non sexual way... cause it helps to remember you are alive when I can feel it."  

[TawnyAngel]

KO flopped down on his bed when dragged, managing to avoid spilling his drink only by a minor miracle (well okay by the laws of fluid dynamics but whatever). "Sure." He wasn't really feeling snuggly but he was too tired and fuzzy headed to feel like arguing the point. Anyway the proximity was nice even if he could have done without the arms and so on.  

[Shaddaling]

Lex beamed cheerfully and after a bit of fiddling with the laptop to reset the movie, taking a few attempts to get it right before joining KO on the bed. He wiggled slightly, getting comfortable, shoulders just brushing and reached into the stash for the chocolate, offering a bar to KO.

"Chocolate makes ... some things better."  

[TawnyAngel]

KO considered the chocolate. He shrugged slightly and accepted it. "Well it can't make things worse. Thanks."