[FIN] The Truth Comes Out

[insidiousEnigma]

Andre paused at the top of the stairs to look over his shoulder at the younger man. "Yes, Akira?" His tone was polite yet detached as he pushed his damp hair out of his face. "Did you leave something upstairs?"  

[Kitomyx]

The silver-haired man's face was contorted with pain. "Don't be like that!" He continued up the stairs to try to catch Andre's hand. "You know I care about you, don't you?" He paused, glancing back over his shoulder. "We both do."  

[insidiousEnigma]

He let his hand be taken up but didn't return the grasp. The corners of his mouth twitched into a frown before he plastered a bright smile onto his face. "Yes!" He hummed lightly and cocked his head. "I'm very lucky to have so many people care for me."  

[Kitomyx]

Akira let go of Andre's hand, gritting his teeth miserably as his eyes began to water again. "No! Don't do that! Why do you have to...?" Curling his hands into fists, he threw both them and himself at Andre's chest. "Don't give me those stupid fake smiles! Didn't I tell you I can't stand that?! Are you doing that to hurt me because you're hurt?"  

[insidiousEnigma]

For a brief moment, Andre entertained the idea of pushing the other away. It seemed that he was getting soft though because he wrapped his arms around the other to keep him from falling down the stairs. Sighing softly, he rubbed his hands along Akira's back. "Don't cry." He murmured, a little unsure what to do.

"What do you want from me?" He asked, tone a little exasperated but hiding a hint of sadness.  

[Kitomyx]

"I'm not crying..." he muttered, furiously withdrawing a little to wipe his face on his arm yet again. "I just want you to be honest. To say what's on your mind. To look like you feel. Is that too much to ask?"  

[insidiousEnigma]

"I have been honest." Andre muttered, reaching out to wipe away a tear with his thumb. "From my perspective it's you that hasn't been honest." He smoothed Akira's hair back from his face so he could kiss his forehead. "I just...don't understand what you actually want from me."  

[Kitomyx]

"Wha...?" Akira looked up at Andre, his expression caught between bewilderment and concern. "What...wasn't I honest about?" He clenched and unclenched his fists, looking away sharply. "I don't...why did you reject Louis' feelings?"  

[insidiousEnigma]

"Keeping all of this from me..." He just really didn't want to talk about this. He hated talking about feelings. Was this really all worth it?

"I don't return them." Andre said simply. "As I'm sure he told you. What does that have to do with you?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused.  

[Kitomyx]

"Keeping what, exactly? Would you be more specific?" He knew he'd said a lot, but he had assumed Andre had already known it. Perhaps he'd been wrong, though, and if he was, he wanted to know what about. He hadn't expected to actually hurt Andre with his assumptions. Sometimes it seemed like nothing could hurt Andre, so Akira was having trouble processing the consequences of what he'd said.

"What makes his feelings any different from mine?!" he asked, exasperated. "He's so much more than I am; he's done so much more and even now he's still staying by you even when it must be so hard to see you with other people like me. Why did you accept my feelings and not his? Did you even give him a chance?" He pressed his forehead against Andre's chest. "And if you know he still feels that way about you...why would you let him come here and live with you after Vincent was gone? It's like you're giving him false hope."  

[insidiousEnigma]

"That you thought I was using you." He frowned and moved away from the other. "I thought that you..." he shook his head as if to dismiss the topic.

"Both of your feelings are important to me." It felt odd to say it out loud, a little sour on his tongue. "What would you have me do, Akira? Pretend to love him? Force myself to be with him?" He asked sharply. "Play with his emotions instead of being honest? I told him he was was welcome to leave my employment if he wanted to. He chose to stay knowing that I don't return his feelings. So don't blame me. I accepted your feelings because I like you." He tugged on his hair angrily. "Have I not been obvious enough?"  

[Kitomyx]

Akira bit his lip again, this time in shame. "I don't blame you," he said. "I just don't understand. You don't seem to express yourself the same way other people do, so I have a hard time understanding. I'm not even good at understanding people who express themselves normally or even myself so I'm always second-guessing and doubting. I'm stupid, so you have to tell me things directly."

"It's not that I want you to pretend to love him. I just - I don't get what makes him any different from me. Other than that he's known you longer and he's more sincere and more like Vincent and everything, so basically nothing that I could beat. I'm paranoid, okay? I'm sorry. I'm constantly worrying and since I don't have a clue why you might like me in the first place, I don't know what I could do or be to make sure it stays that way."

"You always seem so...unphased, so unbothered by anything that I don't know what affects you, what makes you angry or upset. I haven't seen you show many other emotions and even then, they're only flashes and bits and hints. It makes me worry constantly that I don't know what you're thinking. Probably because that's how people in the society I came from were taught to act. It scares me. Maybe that makes me a coward, but it does."  

[insidiousEnigma]

Andre tugged Akira up the rest of the way up the stairs and pushed him up against the nearest wall. "Louis is nothing like Vincent." He said lowly. "*No one* is like Vincent and I prefer it that way. Louis is Louis, Zacharie is Zacharie, and Akira is Akira. Don't compare yourself to them, I enjoy your company for different reasons."

The purple-haired man heaved a deep sigh, "You want to know what I'm feeling? What I think?" He asked softly, caging the shorter male between his arms and leaning in close. "I'm annoyed that you're over thinking this, that you might walk out of this house and not come back." He stared down at the other with pale, unreadable eyes. "Because I want to monopolize you, your time, your everything. I want that cute, little head of yours filled with nothing but thoughts of me and when I have that I want to touch you in ways no one else has. I want to take you apart and see what makes you tick, I want to see it *all*."

He took a step back, schooled his anxious expression into a blank slate. "That's what I'm thinking, Akira. Does it make you feel better to hear it out loud?" His hands clenched at his sides before he released a deep breath and let his head loll back so he could stare up at the ceiling. "It doesn't feel good to say it out loud but that's how I am." He shrugged a bit and tilted his head a bit to glance at Akira. "You're still welcome to tea and lunch, but if you don't mind I'll be taking my leave for the day." He started down the hallway towards his room.  

[Kitomyx]

Akira winced and stood stock still when he was pushed against a wall, worrying just how far he'd overstepped a line this time. Andre's low tone sent a chill down his spine and he shivered when the older man leaned in. He kept his eyes locked on Andre's unfathomable ones, unable to look away as if hypnotized. His lips trembled slightly as he listened to Andre's spoken thoughts and he was quiet for several minutes after they had all been said.

He continued to stare, shaking almost imperceptibly, as he watched Andre turn back toward his room. But then his senses caught up with him and he began to run the short distance the purple-haired man had put between them, closing it as quickly as he could manage as if by leaving, Andre was taking his very oxygen away. Akira flung his arms around the information broker and hugged him with all his might, burying his face in his back.  

[insidiousEnigma]

Andre came to an abrupt stop and tensed as Akira's arms wrapped around him. He was warm, the purple-haired man noted absently, the heat seemed to burn through his clothes. "...What are you doing?" He asked slowly, uncertainly, staring straight ahead as if the answer would appear out of thin air. Wasn't this when Akira was supposed to run away?

Absently, he patted at the backs of the others hands. "After an admission like that people tend to run away from the person that said it." He tried to keep his tone light but only managed to partially hide his confusion.