Evergleam Giveaway & Lotto -- Gleam On!

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and one

201. All giant serpents acting as guardians in underground lakes will be fitted with sports goggles to prevent eye injuries. heart

(can you imagine? Sports goggles on a huge snake? LOL)  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and two

202. All crones with the ability to prophesy will be given free facelifts, permanents, manicures, and Donna Karan wardrobes. That should pretty well destroy their credibility. heart  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and three

203. I will not employ an evil wizard if he has a sleazy mustache. heart  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and four

204. I will hire an entire squad of blind guards. Not only is this in keeping with my status as an equal opportunity employer, but it will come in handy when the hero becomes invisible or douses my only light source. heart  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and five

205. All repair work will be done by an in-house maintenance staff. Any alleged "repairmen" who show up at the fortress will be escorted to the dungeon.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and six

206. When my Legions of Terror park their vehicle to do reconnaissance on foot, they will be instructed to employ The Club.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and seven

207. Employees will have conjugal visit trailers which they may use provided they call in a replacement and sign out on the timesheet. Anyone caught making out in a closet and leaving their station unmanned will be shot.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and eight

208. Members of my Legion of Terror will attend seminars on Sensitivity Training. It's good PR for them to be kind and courteous to the general population when not actively engaged in sowing chaos and destruction. heart  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and nine

209. I will not, under any circumstances, marry a woman I know to be a faithless, conniving, back-stabbing witch, simply because I am absolutely desperate to perpetuate my family line. Of course, we can still date. heart  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and ten

210. All guest-quarters will be bugged and monitored so that I can keep track of what the visitors I have for some reason allowed to roam about my fortress are actually plotting.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and eleven

211. If my chief engineer displeases me, he will be shot, not imprisoned in the dungeon or beyond the traps he helped design.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and twelve

212. I will not send out battalions composed wholly of robots or skeletons against heroes who have qualms about killing living beings. heart  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and thirteen

213. I will not wear long, heavy cloaks. While they make a bold fashion statement, they have an annoying tendency to get caught in doors or tripped over during an escape. heart  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and fourteen

214. If a malignant being demands a sacrificial victim have a particular quality, I will check to make sure said victim has this quality immediately before the sacrifice and not rely on earlier results. (Especially if the quality is virginity and the victim is the hero's girlfriend.) heart  

[Ambrai]

Nudge two hundred and fifteen

215. If I MUST put a digital timer on my doomsday device, I will buy one free from quantum mechanical anomalies. So many brands on the market keep perfectly good time while you're looking at them, but whenever you turn away for a couple minutes then turn back, you find that the countdown has progressed by only a few seconds.