Things Resident Evil characters would NEVER say

[Alkaizer87]

>>; No one ever gives me points...I claim Ada points.  

[MarthVader_64-0]

HUNK: "Whoo.. You don't see that everyday."  

[Alkaizer87]

Jill: What?! How the...Brad how come you're still alive?! what are you doing in this hotel?
Brad: Um...that's none of your business.
Nemesis: Brad dear, who's in the hallway?
Brad: It's no one, just room service passing by.
Nemesis: Ok darling, i'll be waiting for you on the king sized bed.
Brad: Jill, please don't tell anybody about this.*goes back into his rented room.*
Jill: gonk  

[Biohazard EXTREME]

Nicholai: I've made certain that none of the other superheroes were able to stop the evil violinist who played at the local concert hallmark post card which had a moving poem written on the wall of the bathroom stall, which said that I had a small pendulum on the grandfather clock which moves aside when you solve the mystery of the purple dog.

*Jill's head explodes*  

[Alkaizer87]

Wesker: I have something to tell you Chris and Rebecca.
Chris: Yeah we already know, you're the traitor.
Wesker: Well no duh, that's already been mentioned, but something else.
Rebecca: what is it?
Wesker: From now on you will address me as Betty. Neh, heh.
Chris and Rebecca: eek
Chris: Look, I don't have time for this Wesker!
Wesker: That's Betty!
Chris: Ok fine, Betty.
Wesker/Betty:*shoots Rebecca in the vest* Now come with me, I have something to show you.  

[MadamTarantula]

Jill: "Wesker! Where have you been?"

Wesker: "I, uh, had to go to the bathroom..."

In that scene, I keep thinking of how stupid he looked shooting the bees. He might as well have tried to punch them. confused  

[Biohazard EXTREME]

Why? Bees are a threat. Shooting them works.

Wesker: Did you notice? Barry... He sounded a little flaky.

Jill: I'd say he sounded more crunchy.  

[MadamTarantula]

Biohazard EXTREME

Why? Bees are a threat. Shooting them works.

Wesker: Did you notice? Barry... He sounded a little flaky.

Jill: I'd say he sounded more crunchy.

I know they're much bigger than regular bees, but realistically, you're better off running instead of wasting ammo by trying to shoot them.

The punching comment was another lame joke. xp  

[FCastleThe Punisher]

resident Evil Original

Jill: "Barry? Did you get acting lessons from William Shatner?"

Barry: "What ever do you mean Jill?"  

[Vinessa_Valentine]

Stranger to Paradise

Alright then...I'm going to keep track of what points I get ha ha. So far, 5 Chris points and 2 of whomever NotteRequiem's character is points.

I need to scour the threads so I can track down how many points I have... I know once Bio awarded me some Wesker points.  

[Biohazard EXTREME]

Rebecca: Richard, you've been bitten by a poisonous snake.
Richard: Ugh... Do I need a shot?
Rebecca: Not shot. Snake bite.
Richard: No, I know I WASN'T shot. Do I NEED a shot!
Rebecca: Not shot! Snake bite! Slither slither! Not bang bang!  

[King of Paradise]

In RE1, Chris just defeated Yawn, and for whatever reason, get's a little emotional over the fact, resulting in:

Chris: Snake? Snake!?!?!? SSSNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah..........Going there felt gooooood.

While on subject:

Leon witnesses the death of Ashley, hailing in:

Leon: Yes! YES!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!! Free at last!

Adding on to overly dramatic, Solid Snake was just defeated by Nemesis for the 5th time, ushering in:

Snake: ********! This!!! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!

And just for the hell of it:

This! Is!!! SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRTAAAA!!!!  

[Alkaizer87]

Stranger to Paradise

In RE1, Chris just defeated Yawn, and for whatever reason, get's a little emotional over the fact, resulting in:

Chris: Snake? Snake!?!?!? SSSNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah..........Going there felt gooooood.

While on subject:

Leon witnesses the death of Ashley, hailing in:

Leon: Yes! YES!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!! Free at last!

Adding on to overly dramatic, Solid Snake was just defeated by Nemesis for the 5th time, ushering in:

Snake: ********! This!!! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!

And just for the hell of it:

This! Is!!! SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRTAAAA!!!!

I don't know why but I keep on laughing each time I see this.

Barry: You almost became a Jill sandwich.
Jill: What?! You got it all wrong! Not a sandwich, a pancake, I'm made of dough.
Barry: Really? no wonder your body is so soft. I was wondering about that when we were having sex the other night.
Jill: oh be quiet, Chris might come aorund the corner any minute. Besides you're one to talk.*pokes his belly*
Barry: Woo hoo.  

[Belbecat]

Leon: I could die in this situation.  

[King of Paradise]

In response to the above RE 4 Leon bash:

Leon (During Resident Evil 2): I am teh ZOMBIE PWNERZ!!! Mwuha-bwaha! I arez invincibles to you're baby bites! Yessirz, and I also can back flip off of your face! Take my uber hotness death attack, Mr. X! Let me destroy you with my American scripted banter blast, wierd mutated Frankenstein thing with eye on shoulder! Mwuha-bwaha! I get teh ladies, even though I is only down with the swirl! Graaar! *cough cough* Eww, I puked blood..........................I deserve this.