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Haha, yea I wish I'd grabbed a newspaper or something.

I just meant by experience in that, it kind of takes experience to realize what you are and aren't falling for. I mean it took me a long time to realize the ways in which gender are factors in what I'm falling for, I just didn't realize that at first. I didn't know myself well enough or have enough experience with attraction to really realize what I was attracted to. I mean I wouldn't have called myself pansexual, just not conscious and aware of myself and my own feelings. Still takes me a long time to figure out what attracts me to something/someone, and gender does always play for me, I just really have to think about it to figure out how. So much of attraction is just a subconscious process.

But with only two people are you absolutely certain of a disregard for gender? I hope that doesn't sound like an accusation, I don't mean it as that. I just mean I've been attracted to dozens of people and it still took me the longest time to realize that gender does play an aspect of what attracts me, even in the rare cases of when I've found women attracted. The are specific gender qualities into that as well. And it's what differentiates the attraction for me. I mean if you have that absolute certainty than great, it's just hard for me to imagine that as a case, especially with a less typical sexuality. Just can't imagine understanding anything nailed down after just a couple of cases, I only have partial certainties after several. Sexuality is just soooooo, complicated. It's why I love it, and find it fascinating. It's also why I doubt absolutes. Which like everyone, is of course inherently annoying to me because I don't like to doubt myself. I'm working on being more comfortable with that. That being doubt. There is nothing wrong with doubt and uncertainty, still I can't help but be unsettled. I don't know why I have this need to feel absolutely able to declare myself, when I tend to always argue the merit of not doing so. Oh these irritating hypocritical feelings. ~_~

@JK: It's fine, I don't see it as an accusation. XD It's an interesting thing to consider. I mean, I think similarly to you in that I'm wary of saying 'absolutely,' especially in regards to my sexuality. However, I think as certain as I can be in terms of sexuality, I feel I am pansexual. I know I don't have a lot of attraction experiences to build that, but I don't know if they're really necessary.

Even without the experience of being attracted to a lot of people, I've had other experiences that lead me to feel I'm pansexual: Pretty much my whole life I've been questioning why gender needs to categorize us. I remember when I was little, my parents told me they made sure never to be in a room alone with someone of the opposite gender, just to show their loyalty to each other. Regardless of the trust issues there, I ended up questioning why it was only the opposite gender. I told them if they feel that they need to do that to avoid even the slightest possibility of adultery, isn't there also the slightest possibility of adultery with someone of the same gender? Of course, I'm sure I wasn't wording it that eloquently, but my point was I didn't get why it was only the opposite gender they were worried about. They said they just know they're only attracted to the opposite gender, and I couldn't comprehend that. And I guess just all in all there's been a lot of little things like that that have just taught and convinced me to only see minimalistic differences in gender. If it wasn't so necessary to fit into society without constant annoyances, I would teach myself to completely eliminate the idea of gender from my own thoughts. I know it's extreme, but it's how I grew up feeling.

@Hawk: Sexuality is definitely confusing, but interesting.

Haha, what happened in your dream? XD

Ugh, bad dreams are no fun.

I always like a good dream post, so if you don't mind going on and on I'd like to hear it. I even think there is a dream thread in this guild somewhere that I've forgotten about, it was a YGO dream thread but I know it's gotten off topic several times before. lol

I dream about money a lot, and apparently that's normal for someone in college. It's apparently normal to dream about sex too. XP

Common dreams I have:
~Being attacked or pursued.
~Trying repeatedly to do something.
~School, teachers, and studying.
~Sexual experiences (most often with other women).
~Arriving too late.
~Eating (What is it with my dreams and food?).
~Being frozen with fright.
~Being locked up.
~Finding money.
~Swimming.
~Being inappropriately dressed.
~Failing an examination.
~Killing someone.

That is 13 of 20 from the "Common Dreams for College Students" list in my character traits book. I'm starting to recycle locations and create sequels to past dreams. XP

My most common dreams are (in order of most common to least common):
~Eating.
~Finding money.
~Being attacked or pursued.
~Trying repeatedly to do something.

I often dream about natural disasters, mostly tsunamis.

My dreams are almost always either some fantasy scenario (based on anime/video games/whatever, sometimes original) or me in an alternate reality of my life, like going to school, but the school is a huge version of my high school campus, and I keep getting lost and my classes are different, and I don't attend them and fail and stuff. XD;;

I experimented with trying to lucid dream for awhile, but that stopped working so I quit.