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"Damn bloody Bond. And bloody...feelings," Kiae thought sourly. She'd been able to hide them from herself for years, but being with Cobain again just brought it all back.
"It's just me being silly," she said with a sigh, not sure if that would satisfy him.

"It's just...stupid. I can't help it, I wanted to be a mother," Kiae informed him, irritated at herself. Now wasn't the time to be mulling over things like this. "And...being around the Tinkers again, and being with you..."
She trailed off, eyes watering but not threatening tears, and crossed her arms defensively.

"I know," she said stiffly. "I can handle it. I just...kind of got a bit emotional for a minute. I'm better now." She was lying through her teeth, but there was no use for it.
"And will one day come soon enough for us to still be together?" she asked herself.

"Well, it won't 'work out' for a long time, so I just have to settle for not talking about it anymore," she said through her teeth, slightly embarassed by the entire conversation.
"I practically raised an entire generation of Tinkers," she added with a faint smile. Her eyes clearly said what she wanted, and her tone got a bit wistful. "I'd just like to know what it's like to raise something I created."
She bit her tongue and winced, having promised herself she wasn't going to argue this again.

"Good for you," she said a bit sourly, but regretted it instantly. "Sorry, I just...I just need a break," she decided, turning abruptly and striding in another direction from the camp.
"I really do. I've been a bloody emotional crazy-woman ever since this all started," Kiae admonished herself. "How can I act like an Aes Sedai when I feel like this?"

"I've already been an emotional wreck since all of this started," she shot back, repeating her own thoughts. "The last thing I need to do is keep thinking like this! I'm a bloody Aes Sedai, not some Light-blasted mother!"
She caught her breath, having raised her voice to a shout, and turned a bright red.

"Well, we're not supposed to be," she snapped. "We're supposed to know everything, have all the answers, never make a bloody mistake no matter what."
She glared at nothing in particular, her cheeks red. "We have to be everything to everyone at one time or another, and I can't even be a mother to my daughter! Or to any other child I'll have!" she exclaimed in frustration.

"I can't be a mother when I'm hunted by creatures that do unspeakable things to innocent people," she informed him, staring up at him. "I can't - I'm just tired of it," she managed, hanging her head. "Maybe I do want to be just a mother and nothing else sometimes."