X'MAS 2015 Do it For Her: Multi-week Contest

[cursedandwandering]

#1. The tears you cried over her. : SUCCESS  

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#2. The blood you shed for her.: FAILURE  

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#. 3.The photos of the two of you.: FAILURE  

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#4. The flowers you bought her: FAILURE  

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#5. The lipstick from your first and only kiss. : FAILURE  

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#6. The thoughts you had of her as you lay awake in bed: FAILURE  

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#7. The lover letters you threw away: FAILURE  

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#8. The stray hairs you secretly collected : SUCCESS  

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#9. Her forgotten makeup you coveted : SUCCESS  

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#10. Your birthday cards from her.: SUCCESS  

[Biblioburro]

1. The Perfect Rose: FAILURE

"Will this one work?" Biblio gestured nervously to one rose, so similar to the hundreds of others he had shown her this day. Dew rested beautifully on soft pink petals, the stem was long and strong, with only the faintest of bends, the thorns still green with life. There was no discoloration, no withering, no bending of any sort. If there ever was a perfect rose, this would be it.

Apearl didn't seem as sure, her eyes critical as she judged it from every angle, marking off a mental checklist bit by bit. "Hmmmmmmnnnoooooo. I'm afraid not. One of the inner petals has been torn. It throws off the whole structure, if I gave something like this to her- Well it would be inexcusable!"

"Uh-huh... Maybe nature is too..." Biblio's mouth opened and closed a few times, searching for an acceptable word, "Unpredictable. For your purposes."

"You might just be right about that. There are just too many variables. The only way we could find one even approaching perfection would be to... grow them myself! That's perfect! If I supervise the flower in all of it's stages of growth I can weed out all those nasty little imperfections that come from natural growth-" Apearl was really starting to whip herself up into a flurry of excitement, already planning out the entire span of a home-grown Rose, down to producing the perfect seed through strict breeding and constant vigilance. Such a shame Biblio had to cut in.

"We have days, not years."

"Ah right! Look at me getting carried away with myself over one little gift. Got to keep moving, that's what I always say!" She had never once said that, but there would be no arguments since Biblio just wanted to put bandages on all of his thorn-cuts.

2. A Treasure From The Deep: SUCCESS

"You really must come down here! It's remarkable!" It was almost remarkable how little such a pretty pony cared about jumping straight into the ocean. There was something to be said about a woman on a mission, possibly that she was going to kill them both. "The ruins are absolutely stunning. There is a sanctuary in the center of the capitol that is in exceptional condition, much of the building itself is in-tact! I didn't get a chance to look for long, but I saw clear writing. The glyphs inside were spared from the erosion of the currents, it's a little piece of history, trapped in time! I'm sure with time I could discover a translation. Just think, down below us there is a dead civilization, a piece of history lost to time itself. And I discovered it!"

Biblio didn't point out the noticeable lack of the word "We". Best to just let her bask in the feeling of historically valuable discoveries, mostly because she had let him sit in the boat while she went deep sea diving after he had insisted that no, he totally had to watch after the boat. gotta watch out for them sharks and open water boat thieves. His job was a very important one, and she had been kind enough to leave him to his own devices after not believing a single word out of his mouth. However...

"I thought you said we were getting treasure. Not Atlantis."

"Atlantis! Oh that's hilarious!" Her laugh reminded him a lot of pretty teenage villains from 90s anime, but with a slight hint of being completely dorky. Enough so that it almost cute. Almost. "Don't be silly, Atlantis isn't real! This is a completely different undiscovered underwater city! What better treasure could I find than an entire city absolutely entrenched in history! It's absolutely priceless!"

"Huh. I guess you're righ-"

"Now help me raise the continent."

"..." Biblio stared blankly, before gesturing to his watch. "Schedule."

"Oh pish. Then at least find me the coordinates."

3. An Opera In Her Honor: FAILURE

"I can't believe that man! We are paying customers and he- he.... he slammed the door in our faces!"

"To be fair, you did call him a troglodyte."

Apearl threw up her hooves, still incensed over the whole event. "Well He must live in a cave since he wouldn't know true beauty if it bit him!"

"I'm just saying that it's probably hard to work with some filly peering over his shoulder, backseat song writing. And I'm just saying, I'm pretty sure we didn't need three verses about the exact way her eyes glimmer in the heat of battle. Why did you even hire him if you weren't going to like it."

"Then when would I have time to rehearse? Not to mention construct the scenery and costumes, selling tickets, auditioning the cast, finding the perfect leading lady- it's all time I simply don't have."

"Ah yeah. I see where you're coming from. Writing the whole thing yourself would just be dumb." Hopefully the flat tone of his voice and his rolled eyes betrayed the sarcasm within his words.

"I knew you would agree." Apparently not.

4. A Mural Depicting Her Radiance: FAILURE

Biblio stared before him, eyes wide, constantly darting from side to side as if that would help him to process the pure enormity of what laid before him. When she said mural he had expected a bedroom wall, the side of a gas station, maybe filling in the empty space under a bridge. What was not expected however, was the sheer cliff face that stretched for miles around, bearing more pink hair than he had or could ever see in his life. And Apearl didn't look like she was stopping any time soon. There were war scenes, quiet moments with wounded soldiers, private talks they had shared, the beauty of a mother with a child, and a certain earth pony chucked off into a corner so that Apearl did not have to dwell on him long. Every depiction of Rose was bathed in light, marking her as a shimmering ray of hope.

"You know..." Waves crashed behind them, but not another soul was anywhere to be seen on the beach. It might have had something to do with the mysterious barbed wire fence surrounding the area that had been erected not two nights before. "I think depicting her as God might be a little too heavy handed."

"Do you think so?"

5. A Palace For Her To Rule Over: FAILURE

"Woah. Do I need to even ask how you managed to find a crazy old looking castle?" Even the land was a sight to see, rolling hills covered in lush grass carried on for miles all around, in the background the ocean stood out, vibrant blue against all of the green. The castle itself was a marriage between practicality and aesthetics. Elegant and spindly towers rose up from behind a substantial wall, the stone face of which had long ago been taken over by ivy and greenery. The gates were wrought iron, and in remarkably good shape. All of it seemed a tad odd.

"So did you buy the land or..." He let the words trail off. It would be awkward if they were trespassing on some old dingy castle on someone's land.

"I'm so glad you asked. You see humans have a rich and vibrant history, and this castle is a part of that. Back when castles were used as fortresses it wouldn't be remarkable for one to be besieged by a warring army. Humans have so many fascinating wartime traditions!" Already Biblio didn't like where this was going. "Now unfortunately, we don't have time to construct a trebuchet, and if I'm being perfectly honest it would be such a shame to damage a structure that has remained standing for centuries now. And with only two, it will be awfully hard to lay siege to a castle, but we can certainly try! Oh this is so thrilling!" Her voice pitched up in excitement, a sing-songy lilt to her words that betrayed just how delighted she was over the idea. Apearl pushed through the massive oak doors leading into the castle proper, not even pausing for a moment to consider the fact that the entryway was filled with curious tourists who were only too happy to snap photos of the pretty flutter and the weirdo in body paint.

"Ohmygod. There's actual people here. NOPE!" Time to lead the pony right back out and as far away as humanly possible. "Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not happening! You're not allowed to pick gifts anymore."

6. A Dance For Two: SUCCESS

"I don't see how this counts as a gift. We dance all the time, it's hardly special." Apearl eyed the boombox precariously balanced at the edge of the table, yelling to be heard over what was a German prog rock/reggae fusion. It was so loud that every now and again it would vibrate a little closer to the edge. There was disapproval in her eyes.

"You don't think dancing with her is special?"

"Well of course I do! It's as if we meld together. Our eyes meet, our hooves touch, and she holds me so closely. It's the most connected I can feel to- WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT!"

"Nope." Biblio continued to gyrate his hips completely off beat, inviting the aghast pony to join him. "C'mon. Live a little. Join me."

Her lips were stretched into a thin line. They were shaped like unspoken criticism.

"If we're going to do this we're doing it my way and my way only. No more of any of this."

"You just gestured at me."

"Exactly."

7. A Homemade Meal: SUCCESS

Today was the day that Biblio learned the true meaning of Christmas regret.

"So?" Blue eyes stared at him expectantly. The kitchen was trashed. The garbage can was brimming with the charred remains of food he had only taken the smallest of bites from. Dishes were stacked high in the sink, occasionally listing dangerously to the left or the right.

"You know, maybe we should just give up on this." The whole gem ruse was becoming harder and harder to keep up with. His stomach had been revolting for the past several hours now, any more of Apearl's cooking and he worried it just might cave in on itself in protest. Honestly, no one could blame it.

"If I remember correctly, you were the one to suggest this."

"Yeah we um. We all say things that we regret. And it's important that we learn from these times, and grow as people. You know what? This is a great chance for us to repent! What do you say, just the two of us and our debilitating self doubt! It'll be great!" Biblio rushed up to escape, but was pushed right back down into the chair. "Okay that's fair." It was worth a try.

The food before him wasn't nearly as inedible looking as her first examples had been, but the past twelve hours had taught him fear. The last batch of eggs had looked good too, right up until the moment they touched his lips. Apearl seemed to have taken his tears as positive feedback. This batch was less burnt, the eggs had a noticeable blackness to the outer edges—but that was far better than before—the bacon was salvageable, and the pancakes still lacked any recognizable shape, but they looked fluffy and inviting despite their nearly-black coloring. Overall rating: It could have been worse.

Biblio made peace with his gods, whoever they may be, and took a bite.

A moment passed. Then another. No sickening flavor sunk into his taste-buds, and his mouth wasn't on fire. Mind, it didn't exactly taste great, but the ease in which he swallowed was a definite improvement.

"It's edible." There was notable surprise in his voice, but that hardly mattered. He might as well have said it was the best he'd ever tasted for how the simple statement had impacted Apearl.

"You just wait! The next batch will knock your shoes off!"

"It's socks- WAIT, I HAVE TO KEEP EATING?!"

8. A Heart To Heart With The Other Pony In Her Life: FAILURE

"No."

"But-"

"I SAID NO!" This had been a step too far, and Apearl looked livid. It was an odd juxtaposition of clashing images: a beautiful, delicate filly, and the dangerous glint in her eyes. She had the look of a warrior wronged, and for the first time Biblio wasn't eager for the chance to catch a look at her swordplay. Which was reasonable, considering who the target would be.

"He's important to her! It's got to be awful to have the two people you care about most hate each other."

"That's exactly why I can't!" Her anger broke, and peeking out from underneath was a broken pony, the vulnerability she had been trying so hard to tuck away. "If I treat him like an actual person then I have to admit that she already has someone else!" All the fight drained from her shoulders.

"Can't you be happy that she's happy?

"... I want to. One day. But, please... just let me be selfish a little longer." There was a sting to her tone, it made his throat pinch and ache. All he could do was rest a hand against her back, and hope it would give some sort of comfort.

"What about Synergy? Do you hate him?"

"WHAT?!" Whoops, stepped on a land mine. "How could I? He- She- I- I... Sometimes. Sometimes I'm jealous. There's another that is so much closer to her than me. But I can't hate him. He's the one good thing that came from this whole mess..."

"Then maybe that's enough."

9. A Joke To Lift Her Spirits: SUCCESS

"Where does bad light end up? In... prism???" Apearl's head cocked to the side. "That doesn't even make sense! There's no such thing as bad light, and light travels trough prisms, it doesn't get trapped inside. This is factually inaccurate. Is it supposed to be humorous?" Her reaction might have been a little funny had she not just spent the last half hour tearing apart his jokes. The novelty ran out real fast when his material was being ran through the gauntlet.

"Yes and you're ruining it. Come on, jokes are about delivery!"

Apearl frowned and flipped through her note cards, angrily hunting down another joke."What do you call a blind dinosaur... Do you think he saurus??" She squinted, as if that would suddenly make the joke any better.

"It's supposed to be word play. It's supposed to be funny." 'Supposed to be' being the important part. "If you think they're so bad then why don't you pick the jokes!" Probably a bad idea, judging by the way she lit up.

"Oh, I've got the perfect one. Heisenberg went for a drive and was stopped by a police officer. The officer asked, 'Do you know how fast you were going?' Heisenberg replied, 'No, but I know where I am!'" Apearl was already howling with laughter, long before she reached her punchline. Biblio didn't really get it, but he clapped anyway. "Here's another. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. 'You mean a martini?' the bartender asks. The Roman replies, 'If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!' oh ho ho ho ho!" Still didn't get it, but Biblio at least tried to laugh. They weren't good by any stretch of the imagination, but she seemed to be enjoying herself. Maybe that was good enough.

10. Undying Devotion: FAILURE

"Oh ho ho, no I couldn't possibly give her that."

"Okay I'm clearly missing something here. Why the heck not?" It seemed right up her alley, also it was quick, easy, and he was out of ideas. Call him lazy, but... yeah no that sounded about right.

"She's had that for longer than I can remember." She whispered. Her voice held all the reverence of someone talking about their god. A girl in love truly was a sight to behold.

"... We really need to get you non-Rose related hobbies."

(✿ò ◇ ó✿)

And that was how Biblio got kicked by a horse.  

[Biblioburro]

#1 The Perfect Rose: FAILURE  

[Biblioburro]

#2 A Treasure From The Deep: SUCCESS  

[Biblioburro]

#3 An Opera In Her Honor: FAILURE