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 Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 8:55 pm
All I want is to cuddle my cat in my arms and go to sleep for 4000 years.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 7:55 am
Paladin Magnus Dawnguard All I want is to cuddle my cat in my arms and go to sleep for 4000 years. I just got an image of a draugr getting up clutching a cat....
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 5:57 pm
delasislas Paladin Magnus Dawnguard All I want is to cuddle my cat in my arms and go to sleep for 4000 years. I just got an image of a draugr getting up clutching a cat.... Yes. YEEESSS!!! I SHALL RISE FROM THE DEPTHS AND WORSHIP MY DRACONIC GODS AND-- ooooh! Kitty!!! 4laugh (I'm dying this is the greatest depiction of me I've ever heard!!!! xd )
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 5:59 pm
This neighborhood viking got approved for testosterone today and will get the prescription in sometime this week!!!! biggrin
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 7:47 pm
Paladin Magnus Dawnguard This neighborhood viking got approved for testosterone today and will get the prescription in sometime this week!!!! biggrin Honestly I just keep thinking about how I'm gonna go on my senior trip to Disney with a real beard and a masculine body and my beard won't wash away on water rides or in water parks because it'll be real and full and beautiful and I'll be comfortable in my swim shirt and shorts because I'll look masculine and feel masculine and know that I'm getting top surgery in just a few months from then and I'll sound like a guy and look like a guy and nobody will misgender me or see me as weird and strange and just... I'm so ******** happy I'm on the verge of tears. I just can't put into words how happy I am... And this is for life. All I've ever known since the day I was born is discomfort with my body. Not like "Oh I'm so fat/skinny" discomfort but more "Why am I the wrong ******** person and what the hell curse did I get to have something unchangeable and why can't I ******** be satisfied with myself why do I have to feel this way and know it never has a goddamn cure?" But now that's going to change. It's the impossible being possible. I'll be happy with myself for the first time in my life. Eighteen years, man... Eighteen years... smile Thank the gods, truly.
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:05 pm
I'm so tired. Tired of fighting my dysphoria on my period. I'm close to getting it again but I just feel drained, depressed, and scared thinking this cycle will never change. I'll get it each month forever and feel these emotions once a month forever but... that's not the truth. It's about to end. My war's almost over, I'm about to end the periods and I'll be free. It sounds dramatic but just... that's how I feel. It's like an impossible curse is being removed from my life. I'm given wings to reach the sky and beyond where nobody has gone before. It's the greatest thing. And I've earned it. 6 years of this nonstop torture and it's almost over. I'm a warrior and my war is nearly done. No more fighting, just rest long needed.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:40 pm
"Nevermore, Master Blacksmith, praise be unto thou. Immortal and mute, thy cries of war shall signal victory, for all, Demon and Human, align to you in war. From Eternian Gates thou entered--the realms beyond comprehension. You stand a gift from the gods and kings. Wherefore art we deserving of thou? Love us forever, Master Blacksmith, forever shall Vestria host thy everasting grace."
A quote/proverb/prophecy thing I'm thinking of making for Nevermore, the Master Blacksmith, in my story "The Vestria Chronicles".
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Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:29 pm
Things get worse before they get better. And that so happens to be true for the freshman kid I was helping! biggrin She and her boyfriend broke up temporarily until life straightens out, but it's made her realize she needs to focus on improving herself and she's already done just that!! She's been using healthy coping mechanisms like looking for the positives and gratifying people when she feels down, she's taken her own initiative and become more independent, she's been apologizing and honestly trying to better herself for the sake of others because she realized and admitted everything wrong she did. I'm so proud of her. smile
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:28 pm
Dear dysphoria,
Take a hike back to hell and burn. Forever.
Sincerely,
Magnus/your seemingly eternal host
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 6:24 pm
I saw a video of a dude in an Ezio cosplay doing parkour and scaling an ancient building. It makes me want to get back into parkour. Once I transition I'll feel more confident in my body and therefore in myself, and with a hopefully steady job I'm going to try and join the parkour class nearby. I can drive now, and I'll have my entirely own means to support myself and my lessons. It'll give me a damn good reason to stay fit, too, which thanks to dysphoria I haven't had any reasons for years. I've done the class before. It's intense, but it's the intensity that I love. Difficulty, endless challenges, rising above it, impressing yourself, and in the very end showing off the ******** badass things you learn to people, it truly pays off in the end. smile It makes me the happiest person alive.
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2017 7:22 pm
 Observe the viking in his natural habitat.
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 12:33 pm
******** will be ********. You just gotta push them into their tiny, insignificant shithole where they came from. It's so tiny you'll forget they ever existed.
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:29 pm
MY CHOCOLATE CRAVINGS ARE OFF THE WALLS HELP ME
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 1:34 pm
During tough times I wonder what in the world I did to deserve Carlos. smile Everything he does, says, and sends in times like these is so assuring, more so than anything. Boyfriend with a boyfriend he loves who supports everything he's done. I'm so happy. smile Thank you, Carlos. You are the greatest man alive. Supportive, assuring, gorgeous, a metalhead, a cuddler, a great person overall. Thank you, hon.
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Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2017 8:15 pm
Carlos and I got on the topic of movies, and how we'd love to do the corny as hell theater date. But then we realized we could stay at home, save money, make shittons of popcorn, AND A PILLOW FORT!!! We're both adults, but we'd make a giant pillow fort from chairs, cushions, and blankets, and pig out on popcorn all night and fall asleep in the pillow fort.
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