Interracial Dating/Couples! <3

[berryscary1]

crying Ruuuunn away!!! The moderator knows we've been stealing gold from gaia!!! gonk  

[[.BaNaNa.CoIn.]]

xu650863441

@banana Why not?

@xu oh surprised sorry if I misunderstood you smile

oh........... i don't actually know y.....
i just didn't like koreans...... (untill now.... lol..)  

[TinyChinaDoll]

I think, 5 years ago I would never have thought of dating interracially. I was born in China and moved here with my family when I was 7. My parents are very oldworld in the way they think and have brought me and my sister up. It's not good or bad, it's just different and it is our culture.

After living in the states for so long, I think it's been more acceptable for my parents that I.. you know. Not marry chinese boys and make chinese babies. It helps that my boyfriend is very patient, smart and kind (and cute x3). He's really won them over. And he's 100% dutch.

So yeah, it's difficult to overcome culture differences but it's not entirely impossible. Though it may take my parents some time to accept we're not having kids anytime soon. (mom: "WEN U HAV DE BEBBIES??") gonk  

[_Ya-Lyublyu-Vas_]

I think that interracial dating is a very good thing. It (in my opinion) would get rid of these racial boundaries that seem to still be lying on the ground (in a sense).
The deal of my parents, well as long as I'm happy they don't care who it is that I marry. This might be from an American point of view, but none the less, I'm very appreciative for their concern in my well being rather than racial purity.  

[Sze-Kei]

Well I'm not racist but my family is so that makes me angry. They certainly wont aloud me to marry even to go out with another race then Chinese. Vietnamese would be the maximum but I don't know what's with them. My maternal family thinks that men are unfaithful because lots of my men siblings love another woman then their wife or he and his wife got separated. It affects the children like me and my sister my mom doesn't aloud us to go out with other races of guys and she doesn't even aloud us to go out because she thinks that we are too young. What the hell is this man I feel like...imprisoned stare I'm not free but I wanna be free my mom is always annoying me with things she cares about things that is none of her business so I don't really like her. Daughters should love their mom but...I just can't. I don't know what's going on with me but anyway sometimes I really don't know how to control my feelings -.-
My family shouldn't be racist and it isn't all the men who are bad guys there are good guys too, I don't know how to make them understand this.  

[Daydream Silhouette]

O.o I had totally abandoned this topic for awhile...I'm surprised that it's still going. Thank you everyone who contributed your thoughts and opinions to it. n-n  

[berryscary1]

the ANGELS candy 2010

I think that interracial dating is a very good thing. It (in my opinion) would get rid of these racial boundaries that seem to still be lying on the ground (in a sense).
The deal of my parents, well as long as I'm happy they don't care who it is that I marry. This might be from an American point of view, but none the less, I'm very appreciative for their concern in my well being rather than racial purity.

My sentiments exactly. If there is a mix in the race of people than there isn't really a race. Everyone's different and can't really be singled out.  

[JhonnyRaincloud]

I really want to date a Chinese person, like myself. D: Or an ABC. Like myself. xD

But there are never any in my area. xD

But I don't really care. All races are nice. I just kind of prefer Asians...xD But I've liked alot of different people so yeah, in case you think I'm shallow or something.  

[IxianMace]

[K]urom3

What do you think about interracial dating/couples?

I don't personally have a problem with the idea. But I can understand when people say that there may be problems with cultural identity and upbringing.

[K]urom3

Would you ever date someone ourside of your race?

Yes.


Personally, I don't have too much of an issue with interracial dating/couples. Where I take issue is when it comes to the motives behind relationships which arise from stereotypes based on ethnicity.

For example, take these combinations:

Western male + Asian female.
Asian male + Western female.

What were your initial reactions to these, if any? And more importantly, where did they come from?

It seems to me that the former seems to be commonly accepted and on an increasing trend, while the latter still seems to be comparatively rare and considered taboo. Perhaps I am speaking rubbish? Or maybe other people have noticed/felt this?

I wondered why the former combination was apparently so popular, while the latter was so 'undesirable' if people really didn't have any issue with race. It should be able to work both ways, right?

Now on to the not so pleasant stuff:

WARNING:
May be politically incorrect. I don't mean to offend anyone, but there's no other way to say it other than not to say it.

I have a problem with the attitude that some Western men may have who seek Asian women because they (the Asian women) are 'traditionally' reserved, submissive, and more family oriented.

In contrast, I have a problem with the attitude that some Asian women may have who seek Western men because they (the Asian women) have ulterior motives like this for example:

Darkaznstargoddess

Now now we mustn't forget. If Foreigner has no money then use them to get citizenship in their country. wink

Yes, I know both of these are focused on the qualities of the Asian woman, but I am not picking on Asian women in both examples. Please ask if you need further clarification.

Sorry, but I can't see a healthy relationship forming on the basis of those motives. It just seems like people are using each other while not really caring about them, rather than choosing to be with someone because of who that person is. I know this is purely a moral decision based on my set of beliefs, and that people may not agree with them. I think it's sad that couples can be formed on these principles. But if that's what makes both people in the relationship happy and that's all they want out of the relationship, then who am I to tell them what to do?

I have also read something along the lines of Asian women choosing Western men over men of 'their own' race because they see Westerners as being 'superior' in some respects. I don't know how true or widespread that attitude is, but I think it would be an interesting topic of discussion if anyone here has heard about it or even holds that mentality.

I've never been pressured to keep to people of my own race. Though I'm sure my mother would be happier if I married a Chinese/Asian girl.

Here's an old article I found which is somewhat related to this topic. I know it's a long read, so for those that don't have the time or patience, I'll quote the relevant part(s).

Quote:

Mitsuko: Yeah, it's really sad. I've met and corresponded with a variety of white men in Japan, but I think they're really making fun of me. They don't respect me. They just want someone to sleep with. They assume that I'm going to go along with them. For example, even if its only the first time we've met, they assume that I'm going to go to bed with them.

# There was one interesting guy: forty-five, divorced, with an eight year old daughter. He said he was searching for a Japanese wife. I said, why Japanese? He says, 'I don't have much money, I'm divorced, and I have a kid, so a white woman wouldn't marry me. But a Japanese woman would accept it all without complaint ...'

# Japanese women do work hard for the man they love. But it's like that side of us is being exploited by white men. I told him he had a bad attitude. He looked a little offended at that. He likes Japanese women because they don't say things like that! But that's like they're not respecting Japanese women's personhood. So I said, 'No thank you' [English]. (Laugh.)

There's another article I have with statistics, but they're for Japan, and not China (ask if you want the link). If anyone has any articles which have Chinese viewpoints in them, I'd be interested in reading them.  

[iiLashes]

i dont think my parents would be happy sweatdrop
but i have no problem with it.

if i dated an english guy,
him and my parents = won't be able to communicate..  

[Trey Shen]

I am dating a full German woman ^_^ she is learning German in high school because she has kind of lost it during living here lol, but I am trying to teach her Mandarin (so I have someone to practice with)

also my Brother (older) who is a total Wanker and pervert, decided it would be funny to date a Chinese Exchange student. that didn't go over so well...
though it was fun to have her come over and practice with me!

and well now, I am learning German and Chinese, along with three of my own culture languages lol  

[Corvius]

Well, my goal is to marry a Chinese woman and have a Traditional Chinese Wedding over in China. Though, I myself, am predominately English.

Many of the girls that I've had intense feelings for instead of just "Infatuations"(sp?) have been with Asian girls. The first time I've ever had strong feelings for a girl, she was English. The second was Asian and we had an intense friendship that lasted for a very long time. She was Korean. The next girl for me to have strong feelings for was a very Korean-bloodaligned girl, which is the current interest. But, alas, none of them are in my Faith.

A main goal for me when going to China is to meet girls over there. That may sound like something shallow, but its not what many think. All the girls in my Faith around here aren't "quality", so to speak. So, my Aunt said she is going to introduce me to a "Nice Chinese girl" when we go. I gave her the parameters and she went and called up some of her friends and family from China xd xd xd xd .

So... yeah cool ...  

[mymiridon]

@corvius: you're going to China to meet girls... dude... i want to b***h slap you right now. And you're making it your goal to marry a Chinese woman, and have a traditional Chinese Wedding... in China... I, I don't even know how to respond to this. you know what, I do know how to respond. Forget going to China to look for one, I'm sure if you search google they'll come up with a nice mailorder bride for you. One that fits all your criterias.

@ixian: I actually agree with you. I mean it's great and all to date different races, maybe even play the field, but when you're looking for a spouse with said ulterior motives you might as well just put a for sale sign on you or build yourself a robot.  

[Corvius]

sweatdrop

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. That's my Aunt's idea. I'm assuming she doesn't want to be the only Chinese woman in our family. Other that that, she likes Traditional Chinese Weddings and I thought they were cool and very interesting from her brother's wedding video.

The real reason I'm going to China is to sight see and visit my Aunt's family outside of Hong Kong. I apologize if my post sounded offensive. I didn't mean for it to be sweatdrop .

I should have typed it out better, I realize that. Sorry.

I can't even make a freaking post without offending somebody. God, I'm a retard...  

[mymiridon]

eh... no no, i'm the retard for taking it so personally sweatdrop