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 Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:25 am
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Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 8:46 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 9:37 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:03 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:14 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:22 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:43 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:49 am
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Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:21 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:56 pm
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 4:51 pm
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He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.
In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the nw Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.
Now, these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and from the new Navigator truck), and they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the lit dynamite fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite as far away as they can.
Remember a couple of sentences back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog??
Let's talk about the dog: it's a highly trained Labrador used for RETRIEVING. Especially well trained at retrieving things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.
One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck..
The men continue to yell as they run away. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master.
Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I can't believe this happened"look on their faces.
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!
And you thought your day was not going well.
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Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:31 pm
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There were lots of vigils for the Virginia Tech people - she had a T-shirt from visiting it, but that was a lifetime ago. She had worn it all week - today she washed it for the third time by hand in the coed bathrooms. Today, she was going to simply rest in a coffee house on Telegraph Road. There was a head shop nearby, with some punks going in to buy "water pipes" to get stoned. She never believed in that stuff.
Suddenly, somebody snatched her purse. She went off into a dark alley to confront the guy and get it back. Somehow, this alley seemed to stretch on and on - until she got to the end, with the thief in her sights. She pulled out her fists and got ready to fight.
A thin black whip from behind wrapped around her wrist. She tried to pull with her might, but it would not snap off. Another one went to her other wrist. Another one pulled her legs together, and she fell over onto a pillow. Soon the pickpocket came up to her.
"You foolish b***h. Could have known you were so sexy."
He crouched over into a fetal position. He bulged green muscles out of his clothes and what looked like a false skin. Then, he grew a tail, and a pair of eyes were on his back. He sprouted giant claws on his feet, and his legs grew into green scaly limbs. His arms became similar, but his hands were giant claws. He had a pair of eyes on his back, then another pair farther up, and then he had four eyes, and a huge mouth which opened like a giant rubber band, and teeth were everywhere inside it, like giant daggers.
"Yooooouuu are MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"
Juliana screamed at the top of her lungs, but nobody was there to hear her. The monster grabbed her with one claw-hand and snatched up. A large tentacle with a foot long claw wrapped itself around her shoulders.
The monster carried Juliana through a warp in space, then across a series of darkened tree-lined fields.
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 10:58 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:36 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:18 pm
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