[FIN] Some News

[BlackFireKitsune]

"That's fair," he said with a small nod, his smile soft and small and reassuring. Oh how he could sympathize... "It's okay to feel guilty about something sometimes, even when it's nothing to feel guilty about. It's... Sometimes it's hard to not feel guilty about some things, even when it's nothing you should feel guilty about, or that you should repay." Feelings and emotions could be difficult, stubborn things like that sometimes.

But then his smile shifted to a bright, smirky grin. "Ohh, is that a promise? But really, I'd love to get texts from you whether I'm at work or in bed at night. And," he wrinkled his nose a bit again, "some people probably do think they're sexy, but I'm not one of them either. Not that they could ever detract from your sexiness, mind you," he made sure to add with a brief wave of his free hand, as if to dismiss such a silly thought.  

[TawnyAngel]

"Then texts you shall receive," Zevran said magnanimously with a small airy wave of his tubed hand. "With pictures of what I have been drawing perhaps? Ah, and yes you are quite right; I am the most sexy and... Ahh... you know, all of the things I usually say at such compliments." Why did he have to feel so sluggish? He sighed. "I feel as though everything drifts into and out of focus; not with my eyes - they seem fine - with my mind. I do not feel tired, but, weary?" He would swear that this place made it worse, with its sterile sameness and the background noise of too many strangers.

"We were going to have a picnic," Zevran continued with a faint frown, as though he was a bit puzzled by the tangent himself. "We can still do that? When I leave here... and perhaps a little while after that. But before we visit your family? I would like some time with just you that is not here."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel brightened up a bit at the thought. "Ah, I'd love that -- I'd love texts anyway, but I'd love to see whatever you're drawing, too." He really hadn't been sure if Zev would like his last gift or not, but not only did he like it, it seemed he was eager - perhaps interested was a better word - to draw in it at some point during his hospital stay. Maybe he'd evolve from sketching and using colored pencils to using paints later? Abel made a mental note to look into some later, perhaps that'd make a nice surprise once he got back home. He had a sneaking suspicion giving him paints in the hospital probably wouldn't end well.

"Mmh, that's what drugs do to you, unfortunately," he went on, his voice and his expression not without some measure of sympathy as he gave his love's hand a gentle squeeze. "They probably have you on some pretty hefty things for now, though they'll probably scale it back in a few days. I think that's how it works, anyway," he added with a vaguely puzzled frown. No, that sounded right... but then again he wasn't a doctor, so really he had no idea. Oh well, he could always ask later or something, whenever a nurse or doctor wandered in that he could ask a few questions. Zevran's question of a picnic, however, needed no thought before his boyfriend responded with a smile and a nod. "Of course we can sweetheart. We can have as much us time as you want before we go visit them. Picnics, weekend trips, whatever you want."  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran looked a little puzzled again as Abel spoke. "Did we talk about a weekend trip? That sounds familiar. Egh. Whatever they are giving me is good, but not for my brain. But I would like both, when we can. Somewhere quiet? It will be a while before I am ready to attempt clubs and bars I think. I don't really mind though so long as you are there..." Abel had nearly died. Nearly died because of him. He hadn't though, he was alright. Zevran squeezed Abel's hand again, a little tighter this time. "I am... I cannot tell you how glad I am that you are here." Taliesen was not. Was dead. But Abel was alive, safe, and loved him. What more could he ask?  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Oh, I brought it up before back in the ICU, but I think you were sleepy then," the blond explained, his eyebrows lifting a bit. He'd mentioned it at some point, he remembered, but given how little he'd been sleeping the past few days from worrying about his boyfriend, he couldn't help but feel like not remembering specifics well was inevitable. "We can absolutely do both, and definitely somewhere quiet and peaceful. We can find a nice part of the park for a picnic. Same for a weekend trip, we can head out to Jinko or Makko or something, somewhere quieter than the middle of the city... And clubs and bars are definitely out," he added with a soft chuckle. No, no bars or clubs for Zev for quite a while, unfortunately...

The tightness of Zevran's not-very-strong grip gave him pause, but he returned the gesture with his own firm squeeze to his love's hand. "I'm glad that I can be here with you -- and I'm glad you're here, too. ...well not here here, I'd rather you were back at home safe and sound, but you know what I mean." Surely he did; Abel knew what he meant, after all, and it was the same thing. Zevran could've died - hell, he himself almost died, and he would've if Diego had been calmer, had aimed truer, though he promptly shoved that thought aside - and he very nearly had died. It had been very close, too close, way too close for any kind of comfort, and for a while he even had almost convinced himself that Zev had died. But he hadn't, and for that Abel was infinitely grateful. So, so incredibly, immensely grateful... and so guilty that his boyfriend who already had gone through so much now had to suffer through this too. As much as he wanted to bundle up all the pain and anguish that surely weighed him down, he couldn't. All he could do was continue to sit at his side and hold his hand, tell him nice things and promises, and bring him small gifts to bring even a small smile to his face, or at least to distract him for a while. Why couldn't he do more?  

[TawnyAngel]

Words were difficult to find and not just because he was tired; what had happened, what could have happened, what it all meant for the future... A future he had never expected to be faced with. A life that belonged to him, to him and to just one other person. No more need for pretence, no masters to hate- admire- fear. But what would he do with such a life? Too much of it, possibly, to think about... but Abel was in it; that mattered.

Zevran smiled weakly, nodded, and lifted Abel's hand to his lips to press a kiss against his knuckles. "I know cariño. There is a lot... a lot. We have time though?" Zevran shook his head, added; "That sounded like a question, it was not supposed to be one." He was grateful, relieved, but grief and anger and other tangled feelings were still trying to make themselves known too. He ignored them. They had time, and soon that time would not be spent here surrounded by strangers. Think of something different.

"Ah!" That was something, and he brightened a little with the recollection of it. "Abel, I was going to make a recipe book for your mother... Do you think you could find me supplies to start doing that here? I need... Ah..." He frowned and tried to think through the lingering fuzzy fog. "A nice blank book. What would you call that? Not a sketchbook quite, but similar? And... an ink pen to write with; how would you say, ¿caligrafía?" He frowned a little more and gestured a small horizontal line in the air. "They have a flat end? You use them for pretty writing."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Ahh, he loved him, loved him so much it almost hurt... No, what hurt was seeing him like this, weak and recovering in the hospital, suffering through pain both physical but mostly mental and emotional. His best friend had tried to kill him, and now his best friend was dead. "That's right," he agreed softly, his smile warm and gentle as he tried his best to keep anything negative from it, "we have plenty of time, yeah. We have all the time in the world." They did now; a few days ago it felt like they were rapidly running out of time, despite his best efforts to believe otherwise.

But then his eyebrows lifted a bit before furrowing in thought. "Ah.. I don't know the right word for it but I think I know what you mean, and..." While he still didn't know Spanish, the foreign word sounded enough like an English one, coupled with Zev's elaboration, prompted a nod from the taller blond. "A calligraphy pen, I think; I can get both of those for you no problem, especially if I can text you pictures to get exactly what you want. Would you need anything else?" The fact that Zevran was worried about a present for his mother now, with everything that had happened, was... He couldn't think of the right word for it, just that it warmed his heart considerably at the same time as it made it want to shatter to little pieces.  

[TawnyAngel]

When Abel smiled at him like that the world always seemed a little brighter no matter what else was happening. He mattered to somebody just for being himself, without anything twisted mixed up in it all. All the time in the world.

"Really? The English is calligraphy?" Zevran huffed and shook his head, a wry smile tugging at his lips. "It would be one of those that sounds the same. Anything other than that... Not to start with? I don't think. I will want to put in pictures but I will need to cook things to do that. I could put in some little illustrations though, and I could use the pencils you have brought me to do that once I have my hand back in.... So no, thank you, not right away." He still needed something for Abel's father too, something good enough to win over his strange aversion. Was there anything that good? Maybe a handmade recipe book but he didn't know of anything that personal and thought out that the man would like.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"It is, but at least that makes it easier to remember, yeah?" With a smile the blond reached his free hand out to stroke Zevran's hair a bit, his other hand still preoccupied with holding his boyfriend's. But then he nodded his head, committing the requested items to memory. He could ask Taavi to get them, but he kind of wanted to pick them out himself. Claiming it was for his mother and he knew her best, plus he could text Zev pictures to make sure he got the right items were good justifications, but that was about it. Oh well! "Alright, I'll get them for you later, and if you think of anything else you need or want, let me or Taavi know so we can get it for you, yeah?"  

[TawnyAngel]

"Mmmg, true," Zevran nodded agreement and flashed another smile. "Thank you, that would be wonderful." Should he mention that he was struggling to think of something for Abel's father? He probably should, Abel seemed to welcome just about all information about what he was thinking about. "I haven't yet thought of something for your father though. What are his interests?" He assumed that the man had everything he needed for work on the ranch, but something related to the ranch like...? No, no there were no ideas there or at least not right now.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"You're welcome, sweetheart," he said, his voice as warm as his smile. He was more than content to sit there and look at him - his handsome face despite his pale and haggard he looked, his sweet smile, his-- "Ah," his smile promptly morphed into a thoughtful frown, "Dad's harder to think of gifts for... Mom's always complaining about how she never knows what to get him for his birthday or Christmas every year... Hm." He hummed thoughtfully for a few moments before he shrugged, "I dunno just yet, I can't think of anything off the top of my head that he'd need or want, so it'll take some thinking. I'm pretty sure he has all he needs for the ranch and all the pokemon... Mmh, yeah, no, he'll definitely take some thinking. I know he loves the ranch and all the pokemon on it though, and the whole family, so there's probably something among all that that he'd like, once we think of it." Whatever it was. Socks were a boring go-to present, and probably not one Zev would like to give. No, they'd have to think of something better than that, but as they'd both just said, they had time to do so.  

[TawnyAngel]

Sweetheart. Sometimes, often but not every time, it still caught him off guard. He knew he was undeserving but it still made him feel light and warm inside, even now. Things had not turned out for the best, or even well, but out of many bad possible outcomes this was one he would embrace over the chance at another roll of fate's dice.

After a few moments of slightly distant-looking smiling Zevran realised that he had stopped focusing on the here and now and shook himself a little. "Ah, the ranch and the family you said? Yes, there must be something there. Something personal. I don't want to buy something for him, you know? I feel as though - " he paused, reached up to rub his forehead and grimaced a little at a twinge from his chest at the movement of muscles. "This is a... test? Not a test. A trial? A... thing that if I do it right, we will be rewarded? He will like me." If he was a woman would there be any objection? Maybe Abel's father would not like the tattoos... but Abel hadn't mentioned that, and so he felt it safe to assume that facial ink was a forgiveable sin. Being a man was not.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Aaaand Zevran looked distracted again.. Not distracted, but distant perhaps. That was a better word for it. Abel's smile softened a bit and he waited patiently for Zev to work through whatever thoughts were rolling around in his head. "Yeah, that's right," he affirmed with a nod once his boyfriend returned to the present, "and we'll think of something, yeah. It's not a test or a trial though," he said with a small frown and shake of his head, "though I s'pose it's understandable to feel like it is, kind of; give him something he likes so he'll like you, yeah? He should like you just for being you, like I do, though I'm not under any kind of illusion that he'll do so right off the bat, not with how stubborn and old-fashioned he is, so a gift would probably help..." Not that it really felt right, all things considered. Zevran shouldn't have to feel like he had to win over his affection or approval or any such things, and yet there it was.  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran sighed softly and shook his head. "I expected to have to win him over a little because of," he motioned to his face, "I knew that would be frowned upon. I hadn't realised that the gender thing was... so much of a real thing? Uh. Important, widespread? It flashed across my mind but I talked myself out of it a few times, as one can with things that seem so strange...." As he trailed off Zevran squeezed Abel's hand again and smiled wryly. "And so I nearly talked myself out of ever admitting true feeling to you, out of asking you on that date. I am glad I did not do that. It was a strange time for me to do it I think, when I think back, but... well it seemed to come together at the time." They had not been speaking of pleasant things - he remembered how Abel had caressed the scars on his back - but somehow it had turned into something good. "I hope I can turn your father's opinion to something good too," he added to the thought he hadn't quite expressed aloud.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel gave his love a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry you have to win him over at all, but," he shrugged rather than finish the sentence, because there was little he could do about his father or his strong, stubborn and outdated opinions. Instead he returned the squeeze to his hand with one of his own, and his smile warmed a tad. His eyes even crinkled at the corners. "I'm glad you didn't talk yourself out of asking me out -- either time. We'll have to go on another date sometime when you're feeling up to it. That one turned out pretty well, I think... definitely one of my favorites. And you'll win him over, I know you will," he added without hesitation, even though he didn't catch the full train of thought. He'd gotten most of it, and that's what was important.

"Mmh, how are you feeling love? D'you want to try and take another nap for a while?" Abel asked softly, giving Zev's hand a gentle squeeze as the fingertips of his other hand lightly brushed against his boyfriend's cheek.