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"I doubt you'll be willing to help me if I pull some other crap on you." Malik turned to look at the floor, "And I don't understand how to trust people, okay? I want to trust them, but how can I?! Everybody else in my life betrayed me. What makes you any different?"

((o_O; Good night then. ^^ ))

Malik hesitated to do anything for a moment, before sighing glumly and resting his chin on his palm. "I guess I failed at getting you to trust me this week..." After another heavy sigh he looked up, "I'll ... try though. And I'll try to change my bad habits too..." He glanced at the rays of sun that danced on the ground. That sunlight that his skin had been virgin to for so many years. Breaking the spell the golden droplets had cast upon his mentality, he said in almost a whisper, "I'll try not to cut anymore... for you."

((Oye, me too. I had to wake up at 6:30 today to work with my mom... after my schedule of going to bed at 4-5 am , it was not easy. I drank so much caffine today and it's yet to hit me. crying But yea, I'm the same. I can't nap unless I'm sick or having a strange day I geuss... I'm glad for your sister. Boyfriends are annoying. scream ))

" I guess it does. It could just be empty words again. Sometimes I feel one way for a moment, and then later on, I go back on what I've just promised." He scratched his cheek in contemplation, " Do you know if you trust yourself Jounouchi?"

((Wah? You still have a cold?! D: That's awful!

You morning people... *glare* I wish I could be like that... ))

((*LMAO* My dog doesn't look fruits and veggies...))

" I see..." Malik said quietly. "But not 100 % obviously... or else you wouldn't have said 'I think I do', right?."

((Well, don't stay up too late then. D: I'm probably going to get off soon and watch a show with my mom... sweatdrop

Why teh f*ck does Malik sound like L...?))

((Your dogs are weird.))

Malik nodded again, "Yea... I can see that, I suppose. To be honest, I wasn't very good at focusing on my dueling. There was always something else running through my head. Thinking about killing the pharaoh all the time tends to be a distraction. That's probably why I lost so badly... Rishid was much more honorable than I was... and I screwed him up. He lost because of me. It's hard for me not to feel insecure sometimes."

((Haha, uhm no, actually I meant because of the percentage thing.. ^^;; Buuut anyway. -.-;

I'm having a lot of insecurities lately... been playing cosplay with some of my not so close friends who are actually interested. But.. I dunno, I just don't have the right body for it and it makes me feel horribly depressed. My weight fluctuates between off season and swim season, but I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm too old for the team. I'm actually of thinking of cosplaying Mello for Fanime 09, but by that time I'll probably be an even fatter cow... crying And I need to keep my.. uhm... cup at a B so it'll be easier to strap stuff down, but its been fluctuating between B and C the past couple years. Let's see, oh and then the most unfixable issue... my face. x_x Online everybody is so beautiful and they look so good... but... -.- I don't want to fail the character I'm playing by being this fat ugly version of whoever he is...

T______T; I'm sorry, I've been emo thinking bout it all day. It's not the matter of making the cosplay, it's the matter of wearing it comfortably...

I'm so jealous of people like you. You've got a really pretty face and the right body for that stuff. Plus you don't sound super special girly like I do. x_x I hate my voice... wah, I hate almost everything about me sometimes. My hair, my face, my eyecolor, having to wax my eyebrows so I look human, my legs, my boobs, everything! It's all annoying. x_x I like my fingernails. And that's it.))

Malik smiled, "Probably." Then he laughed a little, "But, fate didn't want you to lose. So you didn't. At any rate, even if you had lost, you would've lost an honorable duel... "

((T________T;; I really don't know... I mean what you say is so nice. I'm going to yty not to complain so much anymore. Honestly, I was super depressed yesterday and that made it worse. It's just that, when I look around me, like at my friends and my roommates they are all so gorgeous and they all get complimented for it and I'm skipped over. I can pull off an okay look for pictures, but... I've got such awful skin and I don't wear make up... so... x_x; I'm mostly envious of those pretty asian chicks. Your body type looks similar to mine actually... and yes, it is true I know barely any people actually have those teeny bodies... but I still wish I did. I feel like it's my fault for not eating as well and working out enough. If I did all that and still looked the same then maybe I'd feel less bad. My family gains weight pretty easily also, so it's annoying -people assume the worse. My boyfriend eats sooo much more than me and he never works out. But he is 5'6 and 115 pounds. x_x I weigh a lot more than him and we are the same height. And anyway, I think you do look pretty in that picture! D: You're lucky to have straight hair. And the shirt is cute. Teehee. X3 Are you wearing eyeliner? I don't even know how to put that stuff on. *laugh* ^^;;

And you like your neck? What are you a vampire?! *laugh* I don't even know what my neck looks like. *blink* I geuss I don't pay atteniton to that. I don't really pay a lot of attention to my friends apperances either. I think it's shallow to do that. I mean... I do have friends that do that and its' annoying. One of my buddies said in refrence to my online friends, "You haven't seen her picture? I bet it's beacuse she is really fat and ugly." I think that is so rude! D:< I yelled at her. I don't think any of my friends are like that, I think they are all pretty in different ways. Ugh. For her to say that.... *angry*

This is part of why being a girl sucks. We're expected to work on apperance and stuff. I geuss the pressure gets to me sometimes. I don't want to care. But society wants me to care. Oye.

Another thing that was irking me is the fact that none of my friends want to put time into cosplaying with me. I can't find anybody. And cosplay is so much cooler when done with more people. Also, it's easier to motivate yourself when you have friends working on a project with you. I geuss that got me worked up as well... Okay, I'm done. SORRY!! crying ;; ))

"Rishid is a really great duelist." Malik said with a prideful gleam in his eyes, "He came up with the idea on his own and got really far with it. Most decks without many monsters are such a failure, but he really pulled it off. "

((Oh, I guess it's because your eyes look so bright. ^^ But since you don't like eye compliments... -.-;; ... I'll refrain. *laugh* Yea, I get complimented on my curls. BUT I HATE MY CURLS. So it's like WTF? X3; You aren't a snob for that though. I just wish people cared more about the inside first. My best friends is well, according to guys, super sexy. I don't see the way guys do.. and personally I hate her style of dressing (I'm being mean) At school she always would wear all the company labels like phat farm and luis vuiton, she'd also pile on make up, and wear heals and stuff. But that bothered me because I don't think that is who she is at all. When she hangs out with me she wears anime shirts and a Kyo backpack and stuff... x_x So those things bug me. I found out that she dresses like that because she loves the attention from guys. O__O I guess some people are like that and others aren't. Still, even though she looks like this hawt mexican girl she is pretty much a gaming/anime nerd like me. So I've heard people say this about her, "Nicole is sexy but she is so weird." And that's mean! Shouldn't people like someone for more than looks! > sad

And yea, I also have gotten complimented on my cup size, when I go to a C at least, and that's bothersome too. >>;

Haha, yes I've felt like that before. But then again, I'd rather not have certain man parts... *shudder* Me and my buddy agreed that it'd be awesome if we could turn into guys for a week once a month rather than have a period. I'd suffer having gross hangy man parts over having to deal with cramps, mood swings and leaking. Too bad that can't actually happen.

Yea, me too. I want a Matt now. D: But it'd be fun to find Light, Misa, L and Near also.... haha, the chances of that.... and doing Ouran would also be fun!))