I'm writing my next short story. It's about gratefulness and love.
I've helped many people throughout the years with their problems, and I've vented into my journal about them nearly every night for almost 2 years now. But if there's one thing I've learned from these problems it's that: all you need to be grateful is love.
So this story will tell the stories I've been told, it will tell the memories of opening up, but the purpose won't be just to listen to those stories. The purpose of this will be to show that one truth of gratefulness and how I learned it from those moments. And my goal will be to teach people to love more, to give love and let themselves be loved. Really, it's all you need to be grateful for living.
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 6:41 pm
So on my break today I stopped in at Dairy Queen and there was a couple beside me, mother and father, who had two little girls no older than 8. And the parents were talking to the girls about LoTR and trying to teach them about Ents. Both girls excitedly listened and asked questions, and both parents equally excitedly responded about the historical origins and appearances in LoTR of Ents and honestly that is the kind of parent I aspire to be and those two girls are going to live the greatest lives.
******** got my ******** period again. ******** this s**t. We upped my testosterone dosage, and my damn period's supposed to stop within 4 months. Granted I was on a low dose for 3 of the 4 months but ******** this damn period s**t. I woke up with severe cramps this morning, and even before I transitioned I was gonna start birth control to get rid of this awful cramping problem because I'm on painkillers, have heating pads, and I still can hardly move with all that s**t sometimes because it's just so bad. So obviously my period is relentless. But damnit I'm gonna fight this bullshit and my period will stop one day. With my new, upped dosage of testosterone, my estrogen levels went down to like 30/1000 which is the perfect level for a biological man like me, but my testosterone levels are still at the minimum of 300/1000 so it's gonna take some time, I guess. But I've noticed so much of a difference in just the 20 days I've had with the upped dosage of testosterone, so I'm gonna keep hoping and praying every day and hopefully, soon, this relentless period and my raging estrogen will leave my stupid body and I won't have to deal with either anymore. Screw periods, screw estrogen, I'm a badass testosterone-filled man who punches s**t and works out a ton! Estrogen and periods can't take that away! pirate
Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2018 6:07 pm
It's been 7 months. My uncle Tony forced my grandfather to have a funeral when my grandfather said he specifically did not want a funeral because, as a child, he was abused by nuns and forced to go to school there with them despite this. Before the funeral, we still cremated my grandfather as he wished. Before Tony forcing the service he and Mom agreed upon a way to dispose of the ashes. Then on the day of the funeral service which Tony wanted and grandpa didn't, Tony walked to my mom and handed her the ash box asking, "What do we do with this now?" because he cared so little about grandpa he genuinely forgot the plans he made for the ashes. For 3 years when grandpa was alive, Tony never took him unless he had to. When grandpa was alive, Tony called twice in 3 years to check up on him. When grandpa was alive, Tony never gave Mom a break and left us to take care of him, deal with the stubbornness and anxiety and depression and soon, do round-the-clock care necessary for grandpa to function. Tony didn't answer Mom's calls for help. Tony didn't ask Mom for advice. Tony didn't give advice, or help, or concern.
After the service, it's been 7 months. Tony and Mom are Facebook friends, and she saw a post 2 months after the service. Tony suddenly moved down to Texas from New Jersey without saying goodbye to any of us. Then he came back to NJ at some point we didn't know when, and he didn't stop in or call to say hello, and Mom tried calling him. Tony answered briefly, angrily, only speaking minimally. He hung up, and did not speak after this.
Tony has now moved back to Texas as of some moment. When my sister graduated a few years ago, I remember Tony sending her a graduation gift. I remember for birthdays, holidays, he'd send each of us cute cards with money. Once we took on grandpa he never sent any of us cards again. I graduated a week ago today. Mom sent Tony a picture. He never even replied, said congratulations, or anything. He entirely ignored my accomplishment. He said nothing, sent nothing, not even a smile. Tony has abandoned us entirely... I'm mad at him for how he treated Mom. I'm mad at him for how he treated grandpa. And now... now I'm mad at him for ignoring my greatest accomplishment.
Damnit, when Tony's son graduated we sat down as a family and watched a 20 minute video he and his wife made about the son growing up until the day he walked on stage to get his diploma, and we did everything to congratulate the son.
Mom just sent Tony a picture. No life story video, no progress, just a happy picture. And Tony said nothing.
Trying to get into good habits again so I just started a new plushie!! biggrin I'm making Cable from the new Deadpool movie, the bisexual time-travelling cyborg who I am totally not at all gay and for and absolutely not fanboying over him therefore making a cuddly plushie of him because I'm definitely not gay for him at all and completely don't want to hug him... sweatdrop
Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2018 5:38 pm
Aaaannnnndddd I ******** up. sweatdrop
So my martial arts teacher is away on vacation for the next week, but tonight I drove myself to the dojo for the last class before vacation week. Somehow I.. magically... mixed up ....... the gas and........ the break.. pedals..... and smashed into the wall outside. So I, entirely embarrassed, took pictures for him and sent them asking if that hole had always been there or if I made it because the building has been around for a while and there are lots of dents. His response: "Nice goin ace! Ya better get to patchin!"
So my martial arts teacher is away on vacation for the next week, but tonight I drove myself to the dojo for the last class before vacation week. Somehow I.. magically... mixed up ....... the gas and........ the break.. pedals..... and smashed into the wall outside. So I, entirely embarrassed, took pictures for him and sent them asking if that hole had always been there or if I made it because the building has been around for a while and there are lots of dents. His response: "Nice goin ace! Ya better get to patchin!"
Soooo... tomorrow's project:
Just remember that if you hit something and drive off, you are committing a hit and run, and could lose your license and have a felony on your record. Light pole or a mailbox. Also, parking is a good skill to have, almost as important as driving is.
Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2018 5:31 pm
delasislas
Paladin Magnus Dawnguard
Aaaannnnndddd I ******** up. sweatdrop
So my martial arts teacher is away on vacation for the next week, but tonight I drove myself to the dojo for the last class before vacation week. Somehow I.. magically... mixed up ....... the gas and........ the break.. pedals..... and smashed into the wall outside. So I, entirely embarrassed, took pictures for him and sent them asking if that hole had always been there or if I made it because the building has been around for a while and there are lots of dents. His response: "Nice goin ace! Ya better get to patchin!"
Soooo... tomorrow's project:
Just remember that if you hit something and drive off, you are committing a hit and run, and could lose your license and have a felony on your record. Light pole or a mailbox. Also, parking is a good skill to have, almost as important as driving is.
Yep, I know the hit and run deal all too well... Sadly, living in NJ where it's the most highly populated state in the US, car crashes happen far too frequently and all my friends have either been involved in or committed a hit and run. One person tried to do a hit and run on my mother several years ago and it ended in a court case in which our friend and retired cop, Barbara G., ended up taking the judge aside and screamed about how good a person my mom is then ripped the case file in front of the judge's face and threw it on the ground demanding all charges be dropped. He did it.
But yeah, with all the hit and runs I've heard about, and my friend just going to court herself for having committed a hit and run last month, I've known for a long time to NEVER leave the scene of a crash. That's why I've taken action with my martial arts teacher and we agreed on me fixing the hole. It's ok to settle things in private, but like you said, you don't ever leave without taking the consequences, minor or major. Plus it's just the responsible and right thing to do, telling the truth and taking action on it, and my martial arts teacher is all about that sort of thing so I knew he'd understand when I told him the honest truth. He's a great guy, and as long as you rectify your mistakes he has absolutely no problem with it.
I've gotten so far on the low-poly piece of Thanos and just started the Infinity Gauntlet. I want to keep working on it but it's physically making me anxious right now because of how tedious the process is. But I'll continue tomorrow morning. I'm just nervous because I know I have a few thousand more points left to go on the gauntlet alone, and I haven't even touched the background which is a good 50% of the piece.
These are all the points on the piece right now. Every red dot is where I've clicked and made a point:
This is the piece so far without points obstructing the view:
For every time I click, I lose half my life to Thanos. Eventually I will click so many times that I'll be splitting atoms of lifetime in half, cause a nuclear reaction, and this piece will be all but lost to Thanos's reality. Don't work on art at nearly midnight, kiddos. You'll hate the world and everything it does.
Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 8:58 am
Thor has been visiting a lot lately! All this week, about 3 times so far! biggrin It's nice, and it seems on those days, my boss isn't there, nobody is rude to me and things are calm at work, it's like Thor is watching over me. I wake up with no responsibilities and can just peacefully watch the thunderstorm until I fall asleep smiling to it while rain falls outside joyously. I'm honored to witness such peace and beauty. Hail Thor!
Took about 2 hours but I'm roughly 1/4 of the way done with the Infinity Gauntlet! I was doing so well, then I just looked at how much more I've got to go and stopped. I'm so damn done with this.......
Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 7:26 pm
I feel like everybody, especially older generations when talking to younger generations, need to learn that sometimes when a younger person complains you just have to say, "Wow, that sucks!" then keep going. No matter how minute the complaint, no matter how stupid or incompetent it seems to you, to the younger person they're just dealing with that for the first time and their pain is valid. By agreeing with them that their situation sucks, you're validating the pain rather than putting it down and just making them feel worse. If you tell them their life isn't as hard as _____ or their situation is so much easier than _____ you're literally pushing that person's problem which you personally have no idea how bad it is into the hole and therefore, the person with it.
Tl;dr: When somebody complains regardless of how small or stupid the complaint, just tell them, "Wow, that sucks!" and keep going.
I feel like everybody, especially older generations when talking to younger generations, need to learn that sometimes when a younger person complains you just have to say, "Wow, that sucks!" then keep going. No matter how minute the complaint, no matter how stupid or incompetent it seems to you, to the younger person they're just dealing with that for the first time and their pain is valid. By agreeing with them that their situation sucks, you're validating the pain rather than putting it down and just making them feel worse. If you tell them their life isn't as hard as _____ or their situation is so much easier than _____ you're literally pushing that person's problem which you personally have no idea how bad it is into the hole and therefore, the person with it.
Tl;dr: When somebody complains regardless of how small or stupid the complaint, just tell them, "Wow, that sucks!" and keep going.
Wow, that sucks that young people complain so much. Have you seen the weather recently, starting to get worried about the fire danger in my area.
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2018 8:02 am
delasislas
Paladin Magnus Dawnguard
I feel like everybody, especially older generations when talking to younger generations, need to learn that sometimes when a younger person complains you just have to say, "Wow, that sucks!" then keep going. No matter how minute the complaint, no matter how stupid or incompetent it seems to you, to the younger person they're just dealing with that for the first time and their pain is valid. By agreeing with them that their situation sucks, you're validating the pain rather than putting it down and just making them feel worse. If you tell them their life isn't as hard as _____ or their situation is so much easier than _____ you're literally pushing that person's problem which you personally have no idea how bad it is into the hole and therefore, the person with it.
Tl;dr: When somebody complains regardless of how small or stupid the complaint, just tell them, "Wow, that sucks!" and keep going.
Wow, that sucks that young people complain so much. Have you seen the weather recently, starting to get worried about the fire danger in my area.
Yeah, it's been insanely hot everywhere across the US... I hope you stay safe and no fires happen. But just in case they do please have an escape plan or something prepared because after Oregon and stuff from last year forest fires seem insane...
Still anxiously awaiting the arrival of my octopus kite. That thing's going to freak the entire town out, and I'm so excited for it!!! Plus I'm taking it to the beach one day and I'll fly it there.
But the kite's not arriving until August......... crying
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