Corrupt a Wish

[Hatsu Kagamine]

Well we all get cake, but you noticed you forgot to ask for some cake for you and get emo and kills yourself.

I wish I had some dumplings...(Wow a lot of people are wishing for food.)  

[Irrlich]

Granted, but they were filled with live centepedes that eat you from the inside out.
I wish all mosquitoes would die.  

[CertifiedRobotLover]

granted but they're replaced by Leeches.

I wish I had more soda.  

[Tamago1]

Granted,but it was ACID!
I wish we ALL had brownies.(including me.Ha!!)  

[CertifiedRobotLover]

But no one would be around to eat us and We'd go to waste : (

I wish that I had grapes.  

[Hatsu Kagamine]

Ok you get some 'grapes' but they were really little bombs I made and the go boom in your mouth

I wish...I COULD READ FREAKING BASE CLEF!  

[Majicaster2]

Granted, but you forgot treble clef.

I wish I was able to play the flute.  

[Tamago1]

Granted,but the flutes you play are broken.
I wish that there was no swearing in the world.  

[MiniTeaCakes]

Granted, but now all people can say is, "Potato" and "Banana".
I wish... Someone would battle with me.  

[Tamago1]

Granted,but you keep getting defeated.
I wish you all could fly,including me...  

[Qris Etc Torin]

Granted, but we keep hitting the ceiling, and the ceiling was recently fitted with long, sharp spikes.
Alternative answer with Mother and Mother2/Earthbound reference that most people here won't get: Granted, but we turn into Flyingmen, and are used as Ness's fodder.

Whilst I'm on the subject, I wish Mother 4 (game, noted for its quirky writing and dialogue) would come out.  

[CertifiedRobotLover]

granted but it's system blows up and no more are made.

I wish that school didn't start on Monday.  

[Hatsu Kagamine]

Grantted it starts today! AND YOU ARE LATE!

I wish...I WISH I HAD SOME RAMEN!  

[snaily_girl]

Granted. But it's too hot and once you drink it and realize it's hot you throw it up into the air and spill it all over yourself.

I wish I could breath underwater.  

[Hatsu Kagamine]

Here have gills, and I'll take your lungs so you can't breath on land. YOU ARE NOW A FISHY!

I wish I had Okage: the Shandow King....It's such a fun game...