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 Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:44 am
Nudge four hundred and twelve
22. Find out where the Evil Overlord has installed the self-destruct switch for his secret base (the real switch, not the decoy), and disable it at the first opportunity. The base will get blown up anyway, but this way your chances of escaping are better. heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:48 am
Nudge four hundred and thirteen
23. Don't let the Evil Overlord use you as a lab animal. heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:50 am
Nudge four hundred and fourteen
24. If you can't avoid being used as a guinea pig by the Evil Overlord, any powers you gain from the experiment will make it needful for the Hero to kill you at some point during the Heroic Struggle. Change sides and take your just revenge. heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:53 am
Nudge four hundred and fifteen
25. There is no need to yell when you are attacking the Hero. Especially when you're doing it from behind. heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:54 am
Nudge four hundred and sixteen
26. The recommended method for checking to see if the Hero is still alive is to shoot him in the head. heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:55 am
Nudge four hundred and seventeen
Guidelines for Legion of Doom Troops:
27. Before performing guard duty, familiarize yourself with the sound of a tossed pebble, and learn to avoid being distracted by it.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:56 am
Nudge four hundred and eighteen
28. When performing guard duty, do not stare continually in one direction, but take a moment now and then to look around. heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:57 am
Nudge four hundred and nineteen
29. And while you're pulling guard duty, if anyone shows up with a prisoner transfer or maintenance job, and you don't know about it, arrest them on the spot.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:59 am
Nudge four hundred and twenty
30. When you are fighting intruders, do not fight them quietly, but yell "Intruder!" while you still have breath. heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:03 am
Nudge four hundred and twenty-one
31. When issued armor or uniforms that contrast with the service environment, respectfully inquire after more sensibly-colored attire. heart
I have a sudden craving for white chocolate. For some reason, I seem to be...Sensing it in the back of my nasal cavities and I just WANT it. O.O Weird.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:05 am
Nudge four hundred and twenty-two
32. Get plenty of firearms practice, and shoot at the Hero, not at the ground around him; kicking up lots of dirt looks cool, but it won't stop the Hero.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:07 am
Nudge one hundred and twenty-three
33. Don't attack the hero alone or in pairs. The Evil Overlord hired a million of you for a reason. heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:09 am
Nudge four hundred and twenty-four
34. Learn how to lead from the rear and command from afar, just like the Evil Overlord does.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:14 am
Nudge four hundred and twenty-five
35. Exercise care in the abuse of oppressed peoples. Farm implements can be effective weapons in the hands of a skilled opponent, and some of those little old men can teach you a thing or two about hand-to-hand combat. It would be just your luck for the villager you pick on to actually be the Hero masquerading as one of the villagers. heart
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:48 am
That last bump/evil overlord advice reminds me to recommend that everyone here go out and see Threepenny Opera at first opportunity. Not only is this the show that spawned that wonderful jazz piece, "Mack The Knife," but it teaches a valuable lesson about not undervaluing those who seem to be walk-ons and extras in the show of life. (Pay attention to the chamber maid in the hotel.)
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