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The Shnozly Chronicles: Episode 2: Revenge of the Fortressith

For many years Kuzo beared the shnoz, and hid from the armies of the Nintendo Cult. After taking Fish's nose, they cast him from their village. But he was not sad; he had his precious. (you can see where I'm going with this)

One Shnoz to smell them all
One Shnoz to snot them.
One Shnoz to booger them all
And in the Darkness sneeze them.

Kuzo had become an imp-like creature, driven mad with the power of the shnoz. The mucus drives him. He loves the way it traverses down his naked chest and between his thighs. Sometimes small children find his hideout, and he would chase them out in all his glittering green wonder. Sometimes, however, the mucus hardens overnight, and Kuzo has to eat his way out of the gross poopy boogers in the morning.

One day, he got a little too carried away, and was stuck to the wall for a good five hours. His timing could not be worse. A traveler from the Cult sensed mythical greatness coming from the cave, and looked inside. To his astonishment, he found the one and only Shnozola Gondola (as historians call it)(And Kuzo attached to a wall). Of course, the traveler could not resist its power. He stole it and retreated into the countryside. This man's name was Hashire Kazemeijin.

Hashire had his own adventure, known as “The Hashire” or “They're in my Back Again.” This is a story I may tell at a later date, but as for now, it is irrelevant, and waaaaay too dirty.

Hash had grown old, and decided to give the Shnoz to Cheesio. Cheesio and his best friend, Tthehero, were about to go on an epic ******** journey. “Don't leave me behind, Cheesio!” T cried.

But they were being smelled by the Shnoz Wraiths. Imagine the Ring Wraiths from LOTR, but with huge black jew noses protruding from the faceless hood. You may be laughing now, but they're ******** scary. Dude, I'm not even kidding; they can SMELL fear. The leader of the Snoz Wraiths was named Tatsuman. He was a great warrior, but had sold his soul to The One of Pure Evil, commonly also referred to as Bodewyn.

You may think Fish was the original keeper of the Shnoz, but he actually pulled it from Bodewyn's corpse after the great battle in page 42 of the PYP Thread. Legend says that those who look at said page turn into stone when they see the smile of Bodewyn.

Anyway, the Shoz wraith struck. Cheesio could feel danger in the back of his hat. He stopped eating his tea and crumpets, and asked “I say, do you gentlemen feel that?”

T was too busy polishing his hammer, and thinking of cool one liners to say when they got in a fight. “I didn't hear anything” he said. Little did T know, it was almost One Liner o'clock (ohhhh snap!).

The Wraith struck, but T dodged. “Can you SMELL what I'm cooking?” he said as he swung upwards with his mallet. He missed, of course, but it was a TOTALLY SWEET one liner.

And then the Rangers came. They also helped fight the Wraiths (THE c** JOKES NEVER GET OLD!!). Denko and Vaettur swooped down with torches. Well, they weren't really torches, they were sticks with flaming feces on them. So okay, it's kind of a torch, but a disgusting one. The smell drove off Tatsu and his men, and the two Rangers came to check on them.

Denko was a descendant of Tay Zonday: The King of all the land. He could read blackenese, which in this universe is a legitimate language, so I'm not racist, and spoken by all the descendants of Tay. Vaettur was his somewhat jealous partner who is destined to die later in the story.

There was no meeting of people, because that part of the book is gay and boring. Instead they met Regolas the elf at a drag convention. His(her?) skill with the bow is unmatched. Seriously, that guy (...girl?) handles shafts like a pro. They also met up with Trenndalf, the g(r)ay wizard, and Allegro the Dwarf. Trenndalf the gay was the greatest of RP-ers, and Allegro... well, he was more of a troll than a dwarf, but he could kick some a**.

Anyway, skipping more of the boring and gay parts, they're almost at Mount Doom. Yeah, the entire second book and most of the third sucks a**.

To be continued...?

I love you.

When does hat and all her sugary goodness get referenced?

great birfday present huh

i helped get it for you isn't that great

You have inspired me.

In the gallery.

We need more copy threads. MINE WILL HAVE WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT. YOU TELL ME AND I'LL PUT IT IN A STORY!


Coming in 2010

And Rainbows when he craps