[FIN] Scars of the Past

[BlackFireKitsune]

"I know so," he retorted without hesitation as he tightened his embrace a bit and kissed the cheek Zevran turned toward him, "and you are quite exceptional in many ways, yes, so that sounds perfect to me."  

[TawnyAngel]

Was there anything as good as being thought well of by somebody you thought well of? Very well of. Zevran kept smiling up at Abel and reached up to squeeze one of his hands. "Well I certainly wouldn't wish to dispute a point you are so sure of! Mmmh, I must ask you to release me though I fear, the liquid is boiling so I need to take it off the heat and add the flour." As he said this Zevran gave a slightly disappointed sigh and kissed Abel's slightly scruffy jaw. "The churros will be worth the sacrifice."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Didn't want to dispute a point he was so sure of... That wasn't the first time Zevran had deflected such praise - not even the first time that day - and now that he thought about it... had Zevran ever agreed or disagreed with the statement? Not that he could recall. Curious... "Mmh," Abel hummed somewhat distractedly as he countered Zev's kiss to his jaw with a brief kiss to his lips and another affectionate squeeze before he dutifully let go so he could continue cooking. "I'm sure they'll be amazing -- just like you."

He couldn't get the thought out of his head though, but was it something worth bringing up...? What good would it do to ask why, ask what Zevran thought of himself? Was he reading too much into it?  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran's smiled became a grin and he bumped his hip against Abel's as he moved the pot off the heat and reached for the flour. "You missed a chance there my friend, you could have said that they will be just as sweet! You could still say it now if you like, I will even pretend it was your idea." Not that he just wanted Abel to call him sweet again of course, not at all!  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Oh, did I?" Abel couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Whatever happened to getting all flustered about it, spluttering and not knowing what to do? Now he was encouraging it. Hmmm, to tease him about it or to oblige him...? Both? Both. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you like hearing me call you sweet," he said with a chuckle as he moved aside to lean on the counter and watch his boyfriend cook. "But that's a good one, so I'll bite: You're sweeter than even the sweetest pastry. How's that?"  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran's grin widened and turned silly and, yes, on cue he flushed again as he started to stir flour into the liquid. "Ahaha, that is - heh - that is sweet of you to say. I mean, I do like it... it's very strange but I do like hearing it." It was ridiculous to feel so giddy about such a simple compliment and one he didn't believe at that but he was in many ways a ridiculous person.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

A grin lit up his face when Zevran started blushing - it always was and always would be so adorable - and he chuckled as he turned to fetch two coffee mugs out of a cabinet. "'Fraid it doesn't work on me like it works on you, sweetheart, but I appreciate it just the same." With that he turned to press and pour the coffee into the pair of mugs. After that came the milk and sugar - Abel had by now learned how Zevran preferred his coffee - and once done the taller blond took the mug he'd seen his boyfriend use most often and set it down on the counter near the stove so Zev could have it when his hands were free. "Why is it strange though?"  

[TawnyAngel]

Sweetheart.

Zevran stopped mixing up the dough and looked down into the pan, though he wasn't really focusing on what he was before his eyes, and his grin became less broad but softer, warmer, a bit dazed and disbelieving.

His boyfriend thought he was a sweetheart.

It was surreal, strange and wonderful and for a few moments he couldn't think of anything to say.

"Ah... well..." Still smiling Zevran glanced up at Abel for a moment but then quickly looked back down at his pan of dough and continued mixing, it was nearly a smooth consistency now. "We said this yes? I am unused to people saying such things to me."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

He hesitated before replying -- was that what he was really thinking, or was he just deflecting it again without agreeing or denying? Was he reading too much into it? ...would he ever find out if he didn't ask? Probably not, or if he did it wouldn't be for a while. "Mmh," Abel hummed as he took an experimental sip of his coffee. It was too hot still so he set the mug down on the counter and aimed a curious, thoughtful look at his boyfriend. "I remember you saying that before, but... is that the only reason?"  

[TawnyAngel]

With the mixture now mixed Zevran left it to cool slightly and turned to Abel with a faintly puzzled expression. What was it that he was getting at? "Well it is that, and I don't consider myself any of those things you keep saying. Did I not say that too?" He thought he had spluttered it out at some point but maybe it had passed Abel's notice amongst everything else? Zevran shrugged and picked up his coffee with a wry smile. "It is nice to hear such things though even if I don't think they're so. You know how much I like compliments!" Most of Abel's compliments he did agree with; awful, funny, hot, and many others but sweet? It didn't fit what he knew about himself, not at all.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

While Abel did remember Zevran saying that once before, he'd thought... what, that he hadn't really meant it? That he'd been joking about it? Why would he have thought those things? Especially when that obviously wasn't the case. Good job.

"No, I know how much you like compliments," Abel said as he aimed a small, thoughtful frown at his mug of coffee. A moment or two later he turned that same thoughtful expression to his boyfriend. "Why wouldn't you consider yourself any of those things though?" None of them? He didn't think he was sweet, or good or kind or anything like that? Was it because of his past with the crows and all the things he'd done? It probably was, and while whatever he'd done was almost assuredly nothing good, it didn't mean he was a bad person -- or that he wasn't a kind person, or a sweet person or anything positive like that. As much as Abel wanted him to see that side of himself, he couldn't help but think it might take a while for him to.  

[TawnyAngel]

Why wouldn't he? Abel did ask strange questions sometimes. While he considered the question with a thoughtful frown Zevran sipped his coffee, and doing so caused his brows to un-knit and raise again. "Mmh, thank you, this is perfect." He smiled over at Abel and took another sip, little things like having your coffee made just how you liked it really did mean a lot.

The question though, he wasn't really sure how to answer it and so after a few more moments of thoughtful frowning Zevran shrugged. "Why would I consider myself those things?" he replied eventually, still looking rather puzzled.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Zevran's 'thank you' threw him off a little - he'd been expecting an answer of some kind, not a thank you - but only a little, and just for a moment; the next moment he offered his boyfriend a warm smile, pleased at his successful attempt at perfect coffee-making.

But then he answered and Abel frowned a bit again. "Because you are those things, even if you don't think you are."  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran smiled softly and took another sip of his coffee. "I know you think I am and... well, that you do is very special to me even if I disagree. And things like this are subjective no? So... well, we can think differently about it." As he worked his way through his thoughts Zevran started to frown slightly, not out of unhappiness but simply because he was struggling to articulate what he wanted to. When he finished speaking he huffed out a breath, shook his head and then smiled wryly at Abel. "I have never talked so much about things like this as I have over the past... month? Or two?" It was difficult and a little uncomfortable to examine himself so closely but for Abel he was willing to try.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

But I know you are, he wanted to say, but at this point he knew how it would end, so instead he frowned thoughtfully again and took another sip of his coffee. While he could push the matter still he didn't feel like it would accomplish anything - or at least not what he hoped for - so he huffed as well but smiled at Zev all the same. "Alright, I guess that's fair, though I'd like to point out that at least the things you've done for me have been sweet and kind, especially since you had nothing to gain for doing any of them." Maybe that, at least, he would accept... but if not, that was as far as he would push the topic. If Zev didn't want to agree just yet then that was fine, he could wait.

That aside, Abel closed the distance between them to press a fond kiss to the other man's forehead. "I'll bet you haven't," he said with a soft chuckle. "I'm glad you have been, though."