Talking while you role play

[UkyoKuonji2004]

Come on guys don't fight...  

[CactiAndCanaries]

Haru have you ever read the same kind of different as me?

the book is great because one of the main characters makes a point of saying that when god made the world and said "all is good."

Im not saying that this is because Francis is bad he got sick, im saying that when you become precious to god you become important to the devil. Then there is also the chance that someting good will come from this

It hurts when you know someone who is sick, its like watching the person and finally realising that you didnt have enough time with them. That even though there were times when you wished they would shut up you also expected them to be around forever

I know I did, when I found out Noni had an enlarged heart I only had 2 weeks to prepare myself. He was my little brother, we talked all the time. We were two of a kind because he was mute and gay and its no doubt that there were people who would say their crap. But I was always there and when I was sad and couldnt talk to my mom I would talk to him.

The deal is that sometimes things happen because they need to. I didnt know the full value of life until him because I was busy fighting my addiction to pain. It wasnt until he died that I realized how much it really means to have time. To have a moment with someone that you can just waste.

Dont think of this as he is beig taken away from you. The best way to think is to realize that you dont know how much time you have. This is going to be hard because you are in the dark no doubt but when its over you just might see a diamond. Its priceless and people will always want that small rock.
But look how hard it is to get?

This is the time that you should be spending with him, not talking about dieing but talking with him about living, or talking with your brother. Im sure he needs soeone to help him too. Dont let this be the downer, because if you dont take this time in your hands and run with it, if it does end bad you wil want more memories of how happy he looked. Of how he sounded when he laughed at a stupid joke, or moment. If he gets through this imagine how many memories you have that you can still go to when he remembers how he fought cancer?

you get what Im saying?  

[Hiraru Sagara]

Fanatic... That's not what I meant. I think your getting very worked up, while I'm not. I honestly wanted to know how you would react if something like this happened to you. And I do apologize for annoying you. I was not aware that I was this annoying.

The reason I posted the things above is not because I'm trying to 'b***h about how god has screwed me over'. Honestly I think Life has screwed someone over, but not me. The people around me, and that's what pisses me off. My family is the most important thing to me, I HATE it when something hurts them, even uncontrollable diseases. Honestly I don't think God has much to do with it. The only reason I mentioned Her is because I'm at least trying to pull on some of my family's religion, and because I want someone to blame. And because I don't feel it's right to blame the dead, I blamed someone who don't fully believe in.

If this offends you, I apologize, but this is what I am thinking... I think I explained that right.  

[Cecily D Aria]

I was getting worked up over nothing, I was irritated. That was not even close to worked up.
It doesn't really help that I was really irritated by something in real life and unrelated to this, and that was why I was staying mostly quiet. I'm just not in an empathetic mood right now, but I figured I could try to help. And when you questioned, I guess I overreacted.
Sorry, I didn't mean to take my frustrations out on you.  

[UkyoKuonji2004]

Hiraru, I was in the same kind of position as you with my grandpa. While his wife was not of child-bearing years, it still hurt to watch a family member fade away. It hurts even more if you know he's fading away and CAN'T see him one last time. That was my position. I never blamed some deity I never believed in. I never blamed the doctors or my grandpa or myself. I blamed the fluid that built up in his lungs and drowned him as he lay there in the Health Sciences Centre in St. John's. I believe that's the reason why I chose to go into the medical field.

So in a way, it hurt me but it also eventually pushed me to help others so that they don't meet the same fate. I know I'm only one person and that I can't save everyone, but if I can help even one life...

So I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Something good will come out of all this. You might not see it right now, but believe me something good will come of what's happening.  

[Hiraru Sagara]

puppetofdeath

you get what Im saying?

Damn it Puppet... You have to make me cry again... I get what your saying... and it makes me feel like I'm facing my grandfather's death again, though I'm know Francis is not going to die like that. If he dies, I'll bring him back to life just so I can punch him, and call him an idiot.  

[CactiAndCanaries]

then dont get angry, instead of thinking of it like losing someone you should be looking at it as a chance to help someone else. I still have my last text messages with noni because he died in cali

I didnt get to talk to him the week he died, but I know that he must've felt better when he got my birthday wish. that's what your supposed to do. Not bring them down but build them up and the ones who need help too. You are supposed to talk about life, and the future so you have something to work to. A thing to aim for.

the only thing I regret is focusing on the fact that I was losing someone, not spending the time that I was fuming in making him smile and send me another lol are you insane?  

[Hiraru Sagara]

*Huggles Puppet* I'm sorry to have made you remember Puppet. This sort of thing really sucks.  

[CactiAndCanaries]

its ok
;')

I get teary but it reminds me of good things

I was really messed up before him, I was honestly on the verge of suicide and then I had a wake up call that reminded me that life is to important

I cant get back my time with my friends, so I shouldnt waste it or give it up  

[UkyoKuonji2004]

Well I obviously wasn't helping, and I even made it worse at one point, so I'm just going to log off for a bit.  

[Cecily D Aria]

Oh, bye Ukyo. crying  

[CactiAndCanaries]

sorry had practice

how are you feeling haru?  

[Hiraru Sagara]

Thoroughly distracted... My brother and parents are off Visiting Francis. When they get back I'll know something.  

[Cecily D Aria]

I really hope things go good for you, Hiraru. I am sorry about being so short fused earlier. I was having some trouble with my parents, but I'm better now.  

[Hiraru Sagara]

It will be. I refuse to even think it might not be. Francis is too bull headed to let something like this get him.