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 Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 8:12 pm
Angel
Have you ever seen an Angel
With bright white wings
That floated from the heavens
To teach you things
She taught me how to love
To spread my wings and soar
She taught me how to love most of all
Now I'm free to fly how I want
To teach others how to fly and love tonight
It was the first poem I have ever written and I think Its one of my best
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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 8:21 pm
I think that is a very beautiful poem! Well written and good choice for words! Great Job! I do hope you write more too...
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:43 pm
cool I like it!
Beautiful poem.
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 2:37 am
Hmm...the last few lines seem a little awkward, like you lost your rhythm in the poem.....
Uh, try not to use certain words too much.....like fly....
You could have used a few better descriptive words.....that will really put emphasis on the emotions that the reader should experience as they go over the poem.
Umm....nothing else, really...good job though!
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:24 am
It's very sweet but as Bubblegun Electric mentioned there was a bit too much repitition and in the end the rhythm didn't fit in with the rest of it.
But as a first attempt it's very heartfelt.
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