Set Me Free (Your Heaven's A Lie)

[[ In Nomine Satanas ]]

"Mark these words your story ends, then you will understand, you get back what you put in..."

I lay down in a drug filled haze, barely conscious. Glancing about, I've no idea where I am, or what I've done. Staring at my wrists are two tattoos, both ravens, and for awhile I just lay there pondering their meaning. The blood on my hands begins to cake, and like a hurricane, the drug induced stupor is blown away as smoke, and revelations are bestowed upon me.

I never meant to kill her, nor that insignifi-c**t little ******** she was sleeping with. I sit up slowly and reach for my lighter. With a flick of my wrist, the zippo opens with a style and grace that always seemed... as an usher for tranquility and ataraxia. I light the Djarum Black and try to breath the new-found fire out of my heart. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, but now it doesn't matter.

The crisp crackle of my cigarette pierces and punctuates the otherwise silent room. I'm staring at the crusting crimson caricature that has appeared upon my hands. Her life slowly slipped away as the last speckle of suffering stains my palms.

And with a soft chuckle, I take one last lingering drag from the butt of the clove and whisper to myself as I methodically press the tip into my palm, "Victims aren't we all?"  

[Xahmen]

Is this how people feel when I do things like this?
I WANT MORE.  

[KirbyVictorious]

Z: yes it is.

MORE. JEEZ WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WRITE FASTER!!!!!


Just kidding. heart

But write more. ^^  

[[ In Nomine Satanas ]]

Thanks, I've been meaning to write more... Life's just been pretty damn difficult recently. I'll pound out some more tonight if my internet is working...  

[KirbyVictorious]

<3333333333333333333333333  

[[ In Nomine Satanas ]]

Still no underwebz, but I'll give you guys a little hint, this piece is part 4 of the story. I've decided to combine Her Ghost In The Snow, Kissing Angels and Burning Wings, Heaven Ablaze, and another short story you've already read together into the one. Probably another novel, maybe JaNoWriMo or NaNo 2k8  

[in the flicker.]

this is pretty sweet.

i like the mystery that's going on, but here's a couple of things which bothered me (of course, no pressure):

"with a flick of my wrist"

I've smoked a fair amount of cigarettes, and I have never flicked my wrist to light a cigarette. In addition, I have also never seen anyone do it. I would say it's 95% impossible for the flame to catch that fast unless you have a blowtorch to light your cigarettes. Maybe, if you're talking about zippo-style lighters, you mean that he flicked his wrist after actually lighting it? I'm having a hard time picturing this; it doesn't seem realistic.

as a whole, the cliche' of the "cancer stick" "death stick" and any other "stick" that goes with cigarettes is just old and tired. we all know that cigarettes kill, and i'm sick of hearing 15 year old kids talk about how they love their "cancer sticks."

but that's just me.

you've got some really nice stuff going on, though. i especially liked "insignifi-c**t man." pretty witty and all around awesome.

write more. soon.  

[[ In Nomine Satanas ]]

lol I totally missed that. I meant to write that he flicked his wrist to open the zippo... that's a mistake, I'll fix it.  

[NovaKing]

in the flicker.

this is pretty sweet.

i like the mystery that's going on, but here's a couple of things which bothered me (of course, no pressure):

"with a flick of my wrist"

I've smoked a fair amount of cigarettes, and I have never flicked my wrist to light a cigarette. In addition, I have also never seen anyone do it. I would say it's 95% impossible for the flame to catch that fast unless you have a blowtorch to light your cigarettes. Maybe, if you're talking about zippo-style lighters, you mean that he flicked his wrist after actually lighting it? I'm having a hard time picturing this; it doesn't seem realistic.

as a whole, the cliche' of the "cancer stick" "death stick" and any other "stick" that goes with cigarettes is just old and tired. we all know that cigarettes kill, and i'm sick of hearing 15 year old kids talk about how they love their "cancer sticks."

but that's just me.

you've got some really nice stuff going on, though. i especially liked "insignifi-c**t man." pretty witty and all around awesome.

write more. soon.

 

[in the flicker.]

NovaKing

in the flicker.

this is pretty sweet.

i like the mystery that's going on, but here's a couple of things which bothered me (of course, no pressure):

"with a flick of my wrist"

I've smoked a fair amount of cigarettes, and I have never flicked my wrist to light a cigarette. In addition, I have also never seen anyone do it. I would say it's 95% impossible for the flame to catch that fast unless you have a blowtorch to light your cigarettes. Maybe, if you're talking about zippo-style lighters, you mean that he flicked his wrist after actually lighting it? I'm having a hard time picturing this; it doesn't seem realistic.

as a whole, the cliche' of the "cancer stick" "death stick" and any other "stick" that goes with cigarettes is just old and tired. we all know that cigarettes kill, and i'm sick of hearing 15 year old kids talk about how they love their "cancer sticks."

but that's just me.

you've got some really nice stuff going on, though. i especially liked "insignifi-c**t man." pretty witty and all around awesome.

write more. soon.

i feel like i should be insulted, but i'm not sure why... confused  

[[ In Nomine Satanas ]]

Who is ready for the next installment? Coming soon. Maybe today.  

[[ In Nomine Satanas ]]

Updated.