Jynx story half baked wanting opinions

[slayer898]

As Fei walked down the hallway of the trader building she could hear the slaves calling out to her saying they would make good sex slaves to her but, she wasn’t looking for that she wanted a pet to cuddle and play with. As she passed all the ones that seemed like good candidates and just wanted to be free she came across a small black furred kitten with purple streaks down the eyes curled in a fluffy ball in the corner of his cell. How about this one he seems nice how did he get here? Well…. He was sold to this place by his parents. We questioned why and they said we don’t want him never have we waited till he could be sold and here we are. The kitten whimpered at the story he just heard. He was pretty beaten and a long term of abuse before here we don’t beat him he never does anything but eat and sleep never misbehaves. What is his name? Jynx ma’am hmm…. cute name yep I think I’ll take him. Okay hang on the guard opened the cell door and walked in hey nudging him to wake him up hey wake up there is someone here to get you hmm? He opened his emerald and blue eyes what? Someone is here to get you he repeated. Jynx stood up and walked out the cell and was presented in front of Fei. Hi my name is Fei I would like to adopt you. He stood silent staring at the floor. I’m sorry he, doesn’t talk much too new people. Well that’s ok he’ll get used to me fast she said smiling I know you will like me. So ma’am is this your choice? Yes he is. Okay then come in the back and well get, him registered and collared what would you like him named? I like the name he has already. Okay the guard said as he walked to the stamping machine and a red tag came out with the name jynx on it. As they made there way to the car Fei tried to get Jynx to talk but with no luck. Well I think you’re gonna love your new home Jynx he just stared at the floor of the car wondering what will happen to him. She reached across and scratched behind his ears making him flinch but, a slight purr come from him that’s better now do you trust me even just a little? He managed a faint nod to his own surprise as she continued to scratch and rub at his ears. The rest of the drive was good they listened to some music and he was silent for the remainder only muttering words to agree on music for the ride. When they arrived at the house he was amazed at the size of it. You live her? Yeah for about a year now I lived here alone. As they walked through the door jynx was amazed at the inside of it was beautiful. Well this is the living room upstairs is where mine and your bedroom is what do, you mean bedroom he said looking confused. Well I figured since you were my kitten you would sleep in the same room as me. I didn’t know you were like that like what? She said with the same look on her face as his. You know a slave for pleasure isn’t that why you bought me? Tears started to flow from his eyes. Oh no sweetie she ran and bent down to hug him no I’m not like that I just want a kitten to cuddle and play with not have sex with why would you think that? The stories that the other slaves told me made me fear being adopted I didn’t want to do all of that stuff to anyone. Oh well don’t worry I promise that I wont do anything to harm you in anyway on another note are you hungry? They said you didn’t eat very much at that place. Yes actually I am the food there was awful. They went to the kitchen to make themselves some dinner. So what would you like there is lunch meat in the fridge and cereal on top of the fridge and the milk is in the fridge as well I have to go make up your bed in the room so make what ever you like be right back. As she left he thought to himself she is really nice I trust her I know she won’t harm me or put me in harms way at all I might like this. He got down the box of captain crunch and got out the milk and made himself a bowl which he ate rather fast then left the kitchen to explore the house a little. He found the living room it was huge with a T.V. to match the size. There were four couches each facing each other in a square with a coffee table in the center of them. He decided to check the upstairs he crawled up the stair on all fours it was a habit of his yet it seemed natural to do since he was a kitten. When he got to the top he saw the room he and his owner would be sharing it was big but not huge with one king sized bed in the corner and red and black walls then he heard a door open and he turned around and quickly bolted under the bed. It was Fei coming out of the bathroom from a shower his muscles slowly relaxed but he still couldn’t move so he just laid there while she got dressed. Afterwards she laid down on her huge bed pressing the mattress on him he listened as she talked to herself. Oh he is so cute he will make a great pet its sad what his mom and dad did to him his mind must have some big scars from the past but I would never hurt him I plan on being nice and caring to my little kitten. Jynx started to purr very loudly at the things Fei just said comfort and a safe feeling overcame his fear and distrust towards her but as he purred it got louder until the mattress started to vibrate a little and Fei began to notice and hoped to the floor from her bed. Hey what are you doing under there hiding from me? Sort of I was afraid you would punish me for sneaking around but I heard what you said and I know you would never hurt me but you can’t imagine the scars I have both physical and mental from those horrid people a tear ran down his face. Oh jynx she ran and hugged him as he more tears patted the fur on his face in streaks its okay my little kitten no one will hurt you as long as you belong to me. The tears stopped and happiness overcame his sadness as he hugged her back knowing his safety he licked her face with his rough tongue which made her smile. Did you eat yet? He nodded okay then lets go to bed we have a big day tomorrow. Fei climbed into the bed and jynx climbed at the bottom above the blankets and curled into a ball and fell asleep rather fast it took some time but Fei followed soon after drifting into a deep sleep jynx however did not sleep all that well for his dreams were of his horrid past as he shifted all night. The next morning came and Fei saw that jynx was shivering in fear so she crawled over and pulled him close to her and began stroking his back calming him and bringing him to a soft purr then as he slowly opened his eyes and saw her holding him he jumped a little at the surprise but it faded instantly Fei I’m glad you’re my mistress. And I’m glad you’re my kitten now c’mon we have to get you some new cloths. Okay can I pick out some? Of course she said turning and brushing her tail under his chin. The car ride to the mall was a short one while they drove they listened to all of the stuff jynx liked mostly Social Distortion, Rob Zombie and Nightwish. When they got there they looked around for awhile until jynx saw Hot Topic and rushed in Fei just smiled and walked in after him. He was amazed at all the stuff they had he picked out alot of band shirts and some chain pants. Since it was winter they figured he needed a coat besides the one he barrowed from Fei he needed a new one so they went into the Leather Rack and looked around and found a cloth summer duster coat. this will match your look kitten. What look? Yours you have a dark look to you with your black fur and the purple streaks down your eyes and duster coats have that look  

[Dark_Dragon_Bagera]

It's good,but try to break it up a bit by seperating paragraphs and using more commas,so sentences don't run on.That'll make it easier to follow.Also,try to put a bit more detail into your surroundings,it adds depth to the story.Keep up the good work.I re-read mine and found,like,a billion mistakes with spelling and stuff,lol.  

[trainerghallan]

wow realy good work im impressed so far fei is my fav so far  

[slayer898]

i have another non finished one i will post it when i get home from school  

[Hikaru Hoko]

I tried to finish it, but my eyes got crossed and I read the same line 12 times over. Could you please brake it up for me, it's hard to read things like that.  

[The Corrupted Renamon]

Fave'd~♥

 

[slayer898]

omg this is old