* * * * *
Me: But I don't wanna go!
Evil lady that rules my house: I have to get ready, so you're going to the grocery for me. Go. Now.
Me: B-b-b-b-b-but...
Evil lady that rules my house: Do you really want to test the theory of me owning a gun?
Me: EEP! *Runs off to car*
*I hop into my mom's Jeep, Spyke getting in the passenger side and Brian hopping in the back.*
Brian: We're going to the grocery? Lame.
Spyke: So much for Super Smash Bros marathon...
Me: Everybody just stfu. We're going. Now if only I can figure out how to drive this contraption called a Jeep...
*Starts driving down the road with really jerky stops.*
Brian: What is this, the Test Track ride at Epcot!?
Me: AH! I'm not use to brakes that actually work when you press the pedal!
Spyke: ... that's what she said.
Me: ... naw, that one didn't work.
Spyke: Damn.
*We arrive at the grocery store and happily skip inside.*
Me: Ok, vegetables should be this way. And- oh s**t. Spyke, cover Brian's eyes.
*Spyke noticed it too and immediately put his hands over Brian's eyes.*
Spyke: Just keep walking Brian.
Brian: What's going on? Am I being kidnapped!?
Spyke: It's for your own good.
Me: He is too young to behold this sight...
Spyke: Aye, they are forces too powerful...
Brian: What are you talking about!?!?
*Brian breaks free of Spyke's grip.*
Brian: FOR THE LOVE OF STARFOX, IT'S BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!11111
*It was the 4th of July cookie and cakes display. We literally had to drag Brian away.*
Me: Ok, now down to business. We need strawberries. *Picks up a box* Check. Now we need sugar snap peas...
Brian: Nick, look! They named this vegetable after your new book!
Me: Brian, it says "Stringless Sugar Snap Peas" not "Wingless Sugar Snap Peas."
Spyke: Wait, you're naming the book "Wingless Sugar Snap Peas"?
Brian: You might as well name it "Gay Rainbow Fairy Land"...
Me: WILL YOU SHUT UP!?!?
*We grab the rest of the vegetables and head to the check out.*
Brian: ... this is taking long. Thought this was the express lane.
Me: It is.
Brian: ... well it's taking long.
Me: Indeed.
Brian: ... I'm hungry.
Me: Congrats.
Brian: Are we there ye-
Spyke: MY GOD, SHUT UP.
Brian: Spyke, you're in a crabby mood today.
Spyke: You're in an annoying mood.
Brian: Wanna go get me one of those things of cookies?
Spyke: I'd rather not.
Brian: PLEEEEEEEASE!!!????
Spyke: I'm sure Ritz will make plenty of them for tonight.
Brian: But I want them NOW!
Me: Brian, think of the kids in Africa. What do they have to eat right now? They're happy enough to get buy with a loaf of bread for the day.
Brian: *Thinks for a moment* ... you're right!
Me: As always.
Brian: In fact, I have a great idea! *Sprints off back to the house*
Spyke: Crap. What do you think he's up to?
Me: Honestly, I have no idea. And this is coming from the guy who created Brian in his head.
*We depart the grocery store and return home.*
Me: What's that banner doing on the side of our house?
Spyke: It says "Brian's Fundraiser To Give Cookies To Those Poor Kids In Africa."
Me: *Sigh*
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