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Okay, this story is kind of long (I can't write short stories! Only long ones. crying ) I wrote it for an assignment. I had to change a lot of parts, though, because my teacher wouldn't understand it otherwise (it takes place after a longer saga I have). Here you go (if you actually read it):
* it'S alL goOd *
"It's all good." was what she first said to me back in sixth grade, after I'd apologized for bumping into her. I have to admit, when I first met her, I hated Elli Smithe. I can't say why, but I did. And she hated me. We hung out sometimes, but we were always arguing. Sure, we could've tried to get along, but hey! In sixth grade boys played with boys and girls played with girls or they played against each other.
Then, however, in the middle of eighth grade, Elli's best friend, Miri, moved. She (Elli, not Miri) started to spend more time with me, and we actually began to get along. I began to learn more about her. For example, her parents weren't married and lived apart, and she was actually a triplet (!), but her two brothers (Ken and Sam) lived with her father, while she lived with her mother. After a while she found out some things about my family, too. There were some things I didn't want her to know, but she learned about those eventually.
My family's pretty abusive. My mom and dad are both dead, so my sister and I lived with my aunts. They were pretty cruel and sadistic (really, really creepy), which my sis liked, but I didn't. Sometimes I wouldn't come home after school, but then they'd just beat me. Elli had stopped by my house one day, and, well, when I came to the door with blood spurting from my ear, she got suspicious. So the next thing I knew, I was with her and her mom, who fixed computers and other broken appliances for a living. Here mom became ill recently, and sometimes has to be hospitalized, so Elli's taken up a job to help pay.
Life with them is pretty hectic, but I'm not one to complain. Elli's mom is pretty cool, and Elli herself, well, "It's all good." 'Least that's what she tells me.
"School dance's coming up." she says one night, on the rare occasion that she's home for dinner.
"Really?" I say sarcastically, "I hadn't noticed the large posters, banners, handouts, flyers, giddy school girls, and PA announcements."
"Very funny." she replies dryly, shoving some salad into her mouth. There's a pause while she chews. "I don't s'pose you have a date yet?"
"I've had several girls ask me," I say, "But last year I just stood around, and it wasn't much fun, so I'm not going this year."
"Oh." her face remains very blank.
"Did anyone ask you?"
"No." she responds sharply.
I couldn't guessed that. Elli's a tough hot-head most of the time, so even if someone did like her, they'd be way to scared to ask her out. Last year she accepted this easily, fairly pleased that she was so unpopular. Something was different this year.
"Li?"
I glanced back up at her. Just from the look on her face I could tell she was about to ask one of those evil questions where women say they want the truth, but really don't.
"Yeah?" I find myself saying.
"Am I-"
"Elli! Li!" Her mother's voice breaks through out conversation, "Are you guys going to feed me or let this poor cripple starve?!"
"Poor cripple?" I shout back, "You're as tough as ever! Quit taking advantage of us!" I turn to Elli and smile.
She's just staring at the table. "I guess," she says, standing up, "I'll bring some food to her." and she leaves without another word.
Something's been bugging her lately. Unfortunately, I have no idea what.
"Elli?" I ask, sliding into bed that night. We share a room, and our beds are pushed up right next to each other. She's completely immersed herself in her sheets.
I hear a muffled "What?"
"Are you okay? Something's wrong, that much I can tell."
"It's . . ." she pauses, shuffling around a bit, "Nothing. I'm fine."
There's an awkward silence until she says, "Actually . . . Li?"
"Yeah?"
"Um . . ."
"Yeah?"
"Will you . . . er, please . . . go to the dance with me?"
I'm surprised for a moment, but then I get it. "That's a good one, El!" I say, laughing, "I guess you are all right, huh?" I roll over, laughing to myself.
Elli laughs weakly. "Haha," she says, "Yeah, it's all good."
"Guess what?" I say in the morning at breakfast. Elli's mother and I are eating omelets at the kitchen table.
"Yeah?" Ms. Smithe grunts, shoving some food into her mouth. There are deep bags under her eyes and her skin is unimaginable pale. This illness is really getting to her.
"Elli asked me to the dance last night."
"Ach!" Ms. Smithe started to choke on her omelet. "My daughter did WHAT?"
"It was a joke." I say, "She was joking."
Elli's mom just stares at me. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I mean, c'mon! What else would El be doing?" I pause. "Right, Elli?" I shout, craning my neck over and shouting down the hall.
"What?" is Elli's response. She's still getting dressed in our bedroom.
"Li's talking about you asking him to the dance last night, honey!" Ms. Smithe's raspy voice shouts out. She's gonna start coughing any moment now. "He says that you were just jok-" Yep. She breaks out into a cough.
"You told my mom about that?" Elli says, leaning out the doorway. Her shirt is half-buttoned and her belt is hanging from the loops.
"It was a joke, Elli." I say, rolling my eyes, "And it was pretty darn funny, too. I don 't see what the big deal is."
Elli furrows her brow. "Well, yeah, but . . ." her voice fades off. "You're right, Li." she forces a smile, "I'm gonna finish getting dressed, and then we can head off to school, 'kay?"
Ah, school. The worry of every teen but those who are the lucky populars. I have to admit, Elli and I aren't really that smart. We can average A's, sure, but we have all-night cram sessions. She always has to help me, too, especially in Communications. I can't write an essay to save my life. And, even worse, we have it first period.
"Do you think you're ready for the test?" Elli asks, slamming her locker door shut. I'm about ten down from her and it still makes me cringe.
"Maybe." I say, "As long as there's no writing-prompt essays, I should be fine." I grin. "You really helped me study last night. Thanks."
"No prob." Elli replies, sighing. She leans up and against her locker and looks both ways down the hall. No one's there and we're late.
"Li?" she says staring down at her size nine blue high-tops.
"Yeah?" I close my locker, which has postcards and pictures of all the places I'd like to visit someday.
"Er," she paused, "Do . . . Do you think that . . ."
"That what?" I say, walking towards her. The Com room is near her side of the hall anyway.
"That someone would . . . that someone might . . ." her voice fades so much, that all I can make out from the mumble are "me" and the sound "ike".
"What?" I say leaning in. "That someone would what?"
She looks up at me. Puppy dog eyes.
"What?" I through my arms up in the air, "What?!"
She shakes her head. "Never mind." she mutters, "It's really nothing." she pauses, then says, a bit more clearly, "C'mon! Test time."
I open my eyes. It's very late, I can tell. I roll over and glance at the clock. Eleven forty five. I turn to face the ceiling. Not that late, I guess.
"Ugh." I hear Elli say as she steps into the room. She tosses her coat onto her bed and flops down on top of it.
"You're back late." I say, sitting up a little.
"Oh." Elli pushes herself up. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"Actually," I lie, "I had to go to the bathroom."
"Oh."
"Were you really working until now?" I ask. There's no way her boss could make her work this late.
"No." she says, "I had to go grocery shopping, too. And there were some other things I needed to buy."
"Okay." I roll over again and press my face into my pillow. "The doesn't wasn't too difficult. Thanks again." Although it didn't come out like that. Talking into a pillow muffles everything.
"What?"
I lift my head up. "Thanks." I say, "The test was pretty easy."
"Welcome." Elli says, then sighs.
"What is it?" I ask, propping my head up on my elbow.
"What's what?"
"That sigh. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Okay, not wrong, but what's up?"
"Well . . ." Elli glances down and starts to untie her shoe.
"Ooh." I say, "I get it."
"Hm?"
"It's the test, right?" I say, "Was it difficult for you?"
"No!" Elli bursts out. "I mean . . . . Never mind, Li. It's all good."
I put my head back on my pillow. What does she mean? What else could be wrong?
"Dog bite you? Someone hit you? You paid too much for groceries? You lost something on the way home?"
"No!" Elli cries, "No, no, and no!" she's said this to everything.
"You tripped and scraped knee? Stomach hurts? We ran out of chocolate? Tell me we're not out of chocolate!"
"We're not out of chocolate!" Elli screams, "Why can't just drop it?!"
"You ate rat poison and have three days to live? Favorite show was canceled? Plant died? Dad died? Ken died? Sam died? Dictionary doesn't have every word in it? Pen ran out of ink? You learned that S-"
"No!" Elli screeched, "No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!" she swirled around, "Forget it, OKAY?" She slammed the Communications room door in my face. That didn't prevent me from hearing "IT'S ALL GOOD!"
She's been saying quite a bit lately.
Needless to say, our class was in a state of confusion. They could hear us out in the hall, well, they could hear Elli, at least, screaming at me. Then, when she stormed into the room and slammed the door exclaiming "It's all good", they were very confused. Who wouldn't be? She even got sent to the principal's office.
That made her grumpy for the whole day. Worse, though, I think something happened at lunch, because she was very touchy around after that. I tried talking to her, but she would just grunt and walk away.
Hi Li! Well, my legs froze up and I started to cough up blood, so I called the hospital and they took me in. Good folks, eh? Anywho, I'll be gone for a while. You and Elli take care, okay?
- Your Landlord, Ms. Smithe
Landlord? Where did she get off calling herself that? I set my bag down. I didn't pay her, and I couldn't complain about my neighbor (Elli) to her.
I shake my head. I had no right to complain about anything. These two women had taken me in during a hard time in my life.
Click.
I glance over at the door. Elli's walking in.
"Don't you have work?" I say, turning to her.
"Skipping." she says simply. Then she smiles. I mean seriously smiles. A huge grin right across her face. She drops her backpack. "Wanna go for a walk?"
"A good day, really." Elli says, "A perfect day."
I glance up at the sky. Clouds were covering the sun. "I think it's gonna rain." I mutter.
"Geez, Li!" Elli giggles, "You're such a downer." there was a pause when she muttered, "Even more perfect."
Ignoring the last comment, I say "We should probably head back."
"How's this look? This?" Elli kept holding dresses and tops and skirts up to herself and asking me the same question over and over.
"Why does it matter?" I ask, reclining on my bed, sucking on a cherry popsicle. I hate cherry popsicles, but Elli loves them, so yesterday she bought a pack at the grocer. It's started to pour outside, and for some reason, whenever it rains, I feel the need to eat a popsicle.
"I want to look good, as impossible as that may seem."
"So you are going to the dance?"
"Wouldn't you like to know."
I roll my eyes. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know.
Elli notices my gesture. "Don't roll your eyes," she said, "When it looks like your wearing lipstick."
My hand automatically flies to my mouth. I pause, then say "Well, if you hadn't bought all these cherry popsicles, I would be fine. You know I like the root beer flavor."
Now Elli rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter." she said, "Just help me out. I need an outfit."
"Elli," I sigh, "I'm a guy. I don't wear outfits. I put on a shirt and pair of pants in the morning, and I'm good. I don't know anything about fashion."
"I know that," she muttered, "It's obvious from the way you dress." she sighs, then says, "If it's really that hard, think of it this way: The girl of your dreams is going on a date with. You have only the clothes from my closet to select from. What do you want her to wear?"
"Nothing." I say, smirking.
"Perv." Elli mutters, and chucks a clothes hanger at me (which I avoid collision with by ducking). "You're disgusting."
"I was joking, El." I say, getting back on to the bed. "Joke. Y'know, ha ha?"
"Ha ha." Elli says dryly, "Just help me, okay?"
"Fine." I sigh. I get up and look through her closet. Nothing. Elli has nothing good to wear. All her clothes are . . . not nice, really. Not fancy or anything.
"Can we check your mom's closet?" I ask. I feel like some girly guy. This really is awkward.
"Sure."
Well, at least Elli's mother has some old clothes that look decent. In the end, Elli's outfit consists of a light spectrum blue blouse, prussian blue floral print skirt, and soft tan boots complete with a white suede purse. I feel like a fashion runway announcer. Blech.
The good thing is, Elli stopped there. She locked herself in the bathroom to work on something that I honestly have no clue about- makeup. I sat outside the door, patiently reading the latest copy of Reader's Digest that I'd checked out from the library. There was an article about teenage suicidals in it.
How could anyone do that? I mean, take your own life? How do you get so lonely that you can't tell anyone? That you feel the need to end the greatest thing that's ever happened to you?
I paused. What was Elli doing? Moving around a bunch of little jars? That was what it sounded like. Did Ms. Smithe really have that much makeup? Elli sure didn't.
I'd just finished 'In the USA' when Elli finally emerged, her face caked in the colorful gunk. Bright blue eyelids, thick, dark eyelashes, rosy cheeks, and bright red lips (worse than after I'd eaten my popsicle).
"Er," I say. In most cases, I think a guy would like how she looked, but after having known her for so long, and never having seen like this, I really didn't. "You look good." I lie.
Elli really can't tell a bluff. "Thanks." she mutters shyly. Her purse, I can see, is stuffed to the gills. With what, though, I've no idea. She smiles, then leans down, hugging me. "Bye, Li." she says, "I gotta go."
Standing in the foyer, I wave 'bye' to her, and hear her mutter the strangest thing: "I think the one thing I'll really miss is you."
She just going to the dance. Really, I'm not very fun at dances. There's no reason to miss me.
I walk over to the kitchen table, and sit down, getting back to my Reader's Digest. I decide to reread the article about the rising popularity of suicide in teenagers. On the side of one page, I notice something. There's a small graph showing the most common ways teens end their lives. Seems that pills are very popular.
I yawn. Elli's been gone about five minutes, but I feel kind of lonely without her. I imagine she would get a kick out of this article. 'Kids killing themselves? The cowards! I deal with more than they in a day than they do in a week!' Yeah, I can just picture her saying that. Well, that, or saying, 'Hey, I never even thought of killing myself like that!' Oh dear, the ideas she would.
I chuckle to myself. It's not like she would actually kill herself. Would she? I look the statistics over. She would probably stick with the group and take pills. I'm not sure why I know that, but . . .
I jump out of my seat and rush to the bathroom, thrusting the medicine cabinet open. Spare some band-aids and medical tape, it's empty.
My heart nearly stops.
There was no way.
It's all good.
Suicide.
"Elli!" I scream, tearing through the streets, soaking wet, "Elli, where are you?!"
How could she even think of suicide? How could I be so oblivious?
"Elli, please-!" I round a corner and see a dark figure just on the edge of my peripheral vision. Quickly I run to it. "Elli?" I know it is.
She's sitting down facing back ward and sopping wet, surrounded by trash bags and cans, with pills scattered around her, sorted into various piles and clumps. I was praying she hadn't taken any yet.
"Elli?" I stepped a bit closer, and she turned around a little. Her makeup was running down her face and all smudged up around her eyes. She looked a bit like a raccoon, but I kept that comment to myself. She was pills up to her mouth. Quite a few of them.
"Took me a while to find a perfect place." she says, smiling a little, "But I like this one. Bye." she tosses them into her mouth.
"No!" I scream, rushing to side. I start to beat her back, "Spit them out! Spit them out NOW!"
She's coughing and sputtering, but refuses to spit the pills out.
"Elli Emma Smithe!" I shout. I've never said her middle name before. It feels odd. "Spit them out! Don't you dare swallow!" I hit her square on the back and she spits the pills up onto the ground.
I stop, and she turns to me.
"Let's talk." I say. "I know I'm not a shrink, and I can't solve all you're problems, but please, let's talk." I move back and sit down, facing her. "Don't scare me again, though, okay?"
"Okay." Elli whimpers. She starts to cry and gasp a little, then calms down. "I guess," she mutters, "I hate myself. Because everyone else hates me, and-"
"Slow down." I say, "Who hates you?"
"Everyone. My boss thinks I'm retarded or something, the music teacher thinks I can't keep a beat, Adam Pifferi-"
"Who?"
"Er," Elli's cheeks turn bright red, "He's this guy I kind of like."
Elli? Like a guy? I'd never heard about this. And really never suspected this either.
"What happened with him?" I ask.
"Well, earlier today before lunch, he's always out early, y'know?" Of course I didn't, "I know he's good looking and deserves much better than me, but I decided to test fate and ask him to the dance anyway. So I walked up to him- he was at his locker- and I said, 'Hi, I'm Elli Smithe,' and he said 'Who?' and I repeated 'Elli Smithe.' and he said 'What class are you in?' and I told him 'Yours.' and he said 'Really?' and I said 'Really.' and he said 'I never noticed you before, are you sure?'. Never noticed me, Li. Never even looked my way or heard the teacher call my name. Am I that invisible? Well, it was all pointless, so I just said 'Never mind.' and left. But never having noticed me? And then having such a stupid and nobody kind of girl talk to him? He must hate me. He has to."
"Elli." I say, scooting forward a bit and putting my arm around, "Seriously. That guy doesn't sound too bright. Never noticed you? What about that awesome persuasive essay the teacher had you read last week to the class? Was he asleep or is he just deaf? Or that time you were only student in our class who could answer that one trick question on that test and were recognized for it? Do you want me to go on?"
Elli sniffled. "Could you?"
"Oh, yeah," I say, "You've done loads of awesome stuff. Like you made that giant 'Come back soon!' card for Mrs. Bemway when she was on maternity leave that the whole school had to sign. C'mon! You're name was in big print on the inside: Made for you by Elli Smithe. And then there was the-"
"Thanks." Elli muttered, cutting me off. "But my boss still sucks and all the teachers think I can't do anything."
"Is your boss sort of senile?"
"I guess."
"They must be confusing you with someone else."
Elli laughed a bit at that.
"And the teachers? They hate all students, not just you. The whole reason they work at a school is so they can torture you. That's just the way they are. Except for Mr. Opalski. That guy is hilarious. Obsessed with Jelly Beans. If you can get him started, you can get out of anything." I sighed. "Elli? Don't ever even think of suicide again, alright?"
Elli groaned a bit. "I can't not." she says, "I mean, sometimes I just get kind of down. I just hate myself with a passion, and then I think of suicide."
"Well," I say, "Stop thinking of suicide and start thinking of others. Like the poor guy who loves you more than anyone who you nearly scared half to death. Or your poor mother. Imagine her getting out of the hospital only to hear that her daughter killed herself. Definite heart attack. Or Sam and Ken, think of them, who would feel so incomplete. Two thirds does not make a set of triplets. Even your dad would be upset. Oh! And Miri, of course. She would be scarred for life." I pause, "Everyone loves you El. Kill yourself, and you kill their happiness. You're irreplaceable, and if that puts a kink in your plans to kill yourself, well, sorry, but you're just going to have to live."
Elli sighed. "You suck, you know that?"
"I've heard that before."
Elli smiled. A very little smile, but a smile nevertheless. "You're one heck of a guy." she mutters.
I shrug.
And for a few minutes, all we can hear is the rain beating down on everything.
"Elli?"
"Yeah, Li?"
"Would you like to go to the dance with me?"
"I don't look right for a dance."
"Hey," I say, "It's all good."
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