Why?

[Daffodil the Destroyer]

A friend of mine sent a text message to everyone in her phone book asking something like, "If you died today do you know where your soul would go? Do you care?" and I knew this was opening the door for trouble.

I replied, saying it wouldn't go anywhere because when I die I will just cease to exist. Her reply? "Don't you want to go to heaven?"

Well... theoretically it might be nice, but I don't believe such a place exists. Nor do I believe in its alternative. From here, I guess she just had to make sure... "You still believe in God, right?" *headdesk*

Why is it relevant? Honestly... On the one hand, I feel like she's trying to guilt trip me for my beliefs - BUT, she isn't the type of person to do that. She has also been going through a very difficult time lately and actually attempted suicide towards the end of last year. I'm worried that this conversation is a symptom of some deeper distress she's having and I'm concerned with the effect my honesty might have on her. I know that religion is a crutch for many (it was the main reason I didn't kill myself when I went through depression without therapy in high school), and I don't want to look like I'm trying to convince her that her beliefs are a sham... just trying to be honest about mine.

She told me that she had just decided that she wanted to be a "better Christian" and act more like a proper "servant of God." But what I want to know is why people think that this must include proselytizing their friends. scream

 

[Dathu]

mrgreen I had to look up proselytize.

They do that because their religion tells them too. They think they're saving you. Sadly, that's really all there is too it. sad  

[fhbnfghnbfgbsnbg]

What did you end up telling her?  

[Daffodil the Destroyer]

Well, they think that's what their religion tells them, at least. But they need to realize that evangelizing at people is usually not the best way to win converts; they should just try to set a good example by the way they live, and answer questions honestly... but bringing it up with "do you know where YOUR soul is going" like some infomercial spokesperson isn't going to get them anywhere.

I ended up telling her that no, I don't believe in God, at least not in the sense that most people do (I didn't go into this with her because she didn't ask, and I didn't want to type it all out on my phone, but I think that gods are a personification of the natural - not supernatural - order of the universe. Not sentient metaphysical beings, but constructs of the human mind). She said, "But you didn't always have that opinion of God." *headdesk* I replied that for a long time, I believed just because I had been told to and I took my beliefs for granted - which I didn't realize for years. I told her that if this makes her feel fulfilled, then I wished her good luck on her journey.

I can't help wondering if she's now going to go on some mission to save my soul, or either distance herself from me. Most Christians to whom I've "come out of the closet" so to speak have done one or the other of these things.

 

[Athena_Ritashe]

If what Christians believed was the truth then they wouldn't be behaving like this. They would be certain enough of their religion to not feel challenged just because someone doesn't agree with them. This reaction proves that they have doubts about their beliefs and do not want to question it. Don't worry about it too much. Your friend is just trying to validate her beliefs, and you have done well by sticking to the truth.  

[Dark_lord_15]

*nods* I have lots of friends who send out the religious texts... one of them is constantly telling me to pray for... well whatever they feel needs the prayer. I've asked her to respect my space and now she seems sorta distant to me when she used to be my best friend. They think they're helping, but their really just annoying and in the frikkin way.

 

[Daffodil the Destroyer]

Athena_Ritashe

If what Christians believed was the truth then they wouldn't be behaving like this. They would be certain enough of their religion to not feel challenged just because someone doesn't agree with them. This reaction proves that they have doubts about their beliefs and do not want to question it. Don't worry about it too much. Your friend is just trying to validate her beliefs, and you have done well by sticking to the truth.

I think there's really something to this idea that they act this way out of uncertainty. The bandwagon makes things more comfortable for some people. I think that the fact that they use Pascal's Wager as a conversion technique pretty much proves your statement here. If they were sure that their dogma were the truth, they would be able to prove it in a better way than "well you should do it our way because 'what if' you're wrong and our god does exist?"