a poem i wrote

[evvethegreat]

Walk along the dark trail inside the forests mouth
breath in the cold forgotton air
listen to the heartless sound of silence, of the once upon bustling town, which is now abandoned See the dark trees towering over you like supirior beings
Close your eyes and what do you see, feel the cold wind sweep over you, the wind is colder than any other cold , its memories which are dark have polluted it, the nice summer days cool breeze has now become heartless, What's that you say? you know this town, why yes this is the town your were born in, remember? remember what you ask, remember the day you died, the day this town was abandoned the day the sun faded and no longer shined upon this happy village, the day complete silence and darkness took over and trees grew over it? you don't? that's because the darkness has taken your soul and memories, another victim swallowed up by the darkness.



its poem a wrote a long time ago.  

[MessyCheeseCake]

Nice Poem XD  

[Funky_Mocha]

evvethegreat

Walk along the dark trail inside the forests mouth
breath in the cold forgotton air
listen to the heartless sound of silence, of the once upon bustling town, which is now abandoned See the dark trees towering over you like supirior beings
Close your eyes and what do you see, feel the cold wind sweep over you, the wind is colder than any other cold , its memories which are dark have polluted it, the nice summer days cool breeze has now become heartless, What's that you say? you know this town, why yes this is the town your were born in, remember? remember what you ask, remember the day you died, the day this town was abandoned the day the sun faded and no longer shined upon this happy village, the day complete silence and darkness took over and trees grew over it? you don't? that's because the darkness has taken your soul and memories, another victim swallowed up by the darkness.



its poem a wrote a long time ago.

nice poem  

[XemryXIII]

deliciously dark... 3nodding  

[Musica su Fuoco]

*yawn*

A bit of constructive criticism...

Sure it's dark.

But darkness doesn't make something interesting.

There's no symbolism, no similes, no metaphors. This makes for a weak poem, as there is nothing to decipher.

Really there's no point to it.

EDIT: There is, in fact, one simile. But still.

A word of advice: Don't write a poem just for the sake of writing a poem. Try writing one that actually means something. That makes it so much more... I don't wanna say "entertaining," but....Yeah.  

[XxStardraxX]

I liked the poem, it was amazing n_n  

[evvethegreat]

Musica su Fuoco

*yawn*

A bit of constructive criticism...

Sure it's dark.

But darkness doesn't make something interesting.

There's no symbolism, no similes, no metaphors. This makes for a weak poem, as there is nothing to decipher.

Really there's no point to it.

EDIT: There is, in fact, one simile. But still.

A word of advice: Don't write a poem just for the sake of writing a poem. Try writing one that actually means something. That makes it so much more... I don't wanna say "entertaining," but....Yeah.

yeah i suck at english and metephores and similies sweatdrop , but still, you souldn't be telling me it has no pint, to you its pointless, but to some others it has meaning. it depends on the eye of the beholder. i think it has lots of meaning.