The Frozen Dreams
Preface
In my world loneliness overshadows happiness... My dreams of having a friend who would actually care about my life and me became an obsession, a fantasy. In a new city and school it will be hopefully easier than the yesteryears. I always had someone abusing me or beating me up just because I was really different but now all of it is going to change… I hope. Now high school is waiting for me at the end of my fabulous summer vacation. Hopefully and I pray to God that I get a friend.
-Lana Marshall
I would love to dedicate this series to my best friend Alida Falkena. We went to high school together and have been friends since. She inspired me to write and also helped me brainstorm in the process. She’s the greatest friend I ever had in my life.
-Veronique Lachelle Morse
Preface
In my world loneliness overshadows happiness... My dreams of having a friend who would actually care about my life and me became an obsession, a fantasy. In a new city and school it will be hopefully easier than the yesteryears. I always had someone abusing me or beating me up just because I was really different but now all of it is going to change… I hope. Now high school is waiting for me at the end of my fabulous summer vacation. Hopefully and I pray to God that I get a friend.
-Lana Marshall
I would love to dedicate this series to my best friend Alida Falkena. We went to high school together and have been friends since. She inspired me to write and also helped me brainstorm in the process. She’s the greatest friend I ever had in my life.
-Veronique Lachelle Morse
Chapter 1 A new life at school
The sunlight peered thru my window. I stared at my bland ceiling trying to remember what today is. Then I traced the spray painted hearts on my wall just wishing that I could stay home. I realized that my worst nightmare came true. Today is the first day of school. I stared out my window to look at the rising sun. In my flowerbed outside on my windowsill black tulips awaken to the sun.
My alarm clock, that is really annoying, started to scream a heavy metal tune that I hated. Now my simmer vacation was officially over. The most exciting time of the year ended too soon. The first day of school in a new to is not what I am looking forward to. I never like being the new kid in town.
“Lana! Are you up yet?” my mom sang thru the door.
“Ye-eeeah,” I grumbled in my pillow.
“Good because today is your first day of school!” she squealed very loud.
‘Hooray! Now I will be a true outcast in society… Yuck!’ I negatively and sarcastically thought. My mom pulled the covers off of me with ease.
“Lana you can’t sleep all day…. I know you’re scared but think of it this way. You might get some friends in this school. To make you feel better how about I make you your favorite breakfast!?”
‘Oh my gosh she did not just use that favorite breakfast trick. Dang she plays dirty. But who can resist cornmeal with cinnamon raisin toast! It’s so yummy!! It’s not fair she started to make me drool and want it so bad. I cant win so I’ll surrender.’
“Ok you win I’ll take a shower and pick out my clothes for school.”
“Sure thing honey just one thing moms know all the tricks.” I scowled deeply.
“I knew you would cave in. It works every time.” She swiftly turned and headed towards the kitchen.
‘Now to pick out my out-fit I don’t want to like a serious retard. To the walk-in closet space I go!”
My closet is huge and I have a nice variety of things to wear. My mom spoils me all the time which kind of gets annoying sometimes. She just tries to how me she cares, I guess. The racks full of shirts every color known to man existed here and skirts and pants people envy. I have lots of dresses too but I never wear them to school though I could. Eyeing the selection of tops and bottoms is very hard. It takes me about ten minutes to decide what I’m going to wear. Then I had a sudden inspiration, an idea of what I was going to wear.
‘Let’s see what I’m going to wear. Should I wear my silky red shirt with my gray pleated mini-skort? Yeah I think I will. To make sure this choice is right I should hold it up in front of the glass mirror. ‘PERFECT I love it! Now I will take my nice hot shower.’ The smile starts to show up on my face revealing a trace of cheerfulness.
‘Maybe this day isn’t gonna be so bad after all.’
I have a real hope now that someone will become my friend today. Hopefully it will become reality maybe out of my fantasy world. Only time can tell my friend.
When I started school since the minute I stepped in thru that front door I have been ridiculed. I was set as an outcast no one even looked at me because the popular kids commanded them not to. No one accepted me with open arms because I guess they were jealous or had some life issue that they had to pick on me to ease the pain.
They even pretended to be my friend so that I could do their homework. I did for a while until I realized their scheme. My mom transferred and moved me so many times to protect my fragile spirit, but in the end the same problem reared its ugly head again.
My mom sent me to a psychiatrist for mental help. I talk to inanimate objects because I had no one else. I always reenacted the events of the day with my stuffed animals. I pretended they hated me too back then. The pain grew unbearable so I cried myself to sleep every night.
Finally I grew some confidence last year when I joined an Internet chat group who actually listened to my thoughts and ideas. I never had a true loyal friend but I am obsessed and stressing to get one soon. I pray someone will notice my desperate need for a caring friend.
My hot showers seem like a magical way to escape the pain of the days, my life. I enjoy very hot massaging showers they melt the stress away and relax muscles. Showers help me calm down and not to worry about what happened or what is to come.
‘Then all good things have to come to an end, right?'
Almost too soon the stress instantly affected my mood. I feel rushed and pressured to make a positive impression at this new school. I slipped on my outfit and red knee-high socks. Then I focused on the hair. My hair is a milk chocolate brown with endless waves down past my shoulders.
“Ok operation hair is in full effect. Let the battle begin!” I chuckled to myself.
‘Do I do one ponytail or two? I guess I’ll do two today. But what color bows should I use? Ugh! So many colors to choose from! Red I’ll go with red. I gotta hurry!’ I panicked.
“Lana your breakfast is ready! I made your favorite get it while it’s hot.” She yelled from the bottom of the steps.
“Ok mom I just have to finish my hair really quick!” I ferociously brushed my wild hair.
‘Perfect all done and really pretty… I hope I will be in with the latest fashion scheme.’
My bedroom door was wide open letting the fresh aroma of cornmeal with that lovely toast. The smell always controls my mind. It makes me crazy and unaware of my actions. I slowly walked towards my long staircase.
I sped down the stairs and slipped on my gelert’s toy. A gelert is a member of the dog family. It is a mix of a fiery leopard with an orange bay fox. They come in many exotic colors mine is a bright red.
I skid down the stairs on my butt to the bottom. Fluffy, my gelert, ran and licked my face with her slobber all over the place.
“Fluffy what have I told you about leaving your toys on the stairs? You could’ve killed me!” I yelled and Fluffy’s eyes became saddened.
“Aww Fluffy you know I will always love you. You’re the best gelert ever!!!” her ears perked up and eyes full of excitement. ‘She is so spoiled…. Oh well I love her and she really is my only thing close to a friend.’
“Lana what was that? Are you ok?” she ran into the hallway. “Mom I’m fine I just slipped on one of Fluffy’s toys.” I calmly replied.
“How many times have I told you watch where you’re going? You could’ve killed yourself! ” She nagged. “But I didn’t die mom I’m still here breathing!”
“Sorry I didn’t mean to snap at you, Lana. You just scared me really bad. You’re just so clumsy and I just worry all day long. You always come home with a different bruise and that scares me.” She softly confessed.
“Its ok mom I understand. You don’t want anything to hurt to little baby, right.” I managed to smile.
“Oh well you better start eating breakfast or you’ll be late for your first day. I’ll be upstairs getting ready for work if ya need me.”
“Ok well I’ll see you later then.” She ascended up the stairs. “Hey Lana do you want me to drive you to school?” she offered.
"Um thanks but I think I'll walk to school today." She looked a little pained and disappointed. "Mom you can drive me sometimes just not today."
"It's ok hun. You're just growing up so fast. I can't believe you’re already in high school." A tear welled up in her hazel eye and glimmered in the sunlight.
'Oh no she's gonna cry... Not the "mom tears" they always make me want to cry too.'
"Mom don't cry, please. I hate to see you cry it makes me sad too." I gave her a snug hug and cuddled with her for a few minutes.
"Well you better go I don't want you to be late for school." She quickly ran up the stairs to her room." Bye mom I'll see you later."
'Well I better get going then. Off to the slaughter house.'
In my yard I have three cherry blossom trees and the rest are ordinary and unappealing to the eyes. The town is very beautiful. The great architecture and artwork displayed in an awesome way. Each piece of art had its own meaning and feeling.
This one's my favorite one. It's a woman with a gray kimono top and a bright red skirt sitting by the lake near a white and pink cherry blossom tree. She is picking the sweet plump cherries off the tree and placing them in this handcrafted basket with cherry blossoms over flowing it. In the background the sunset is very colorful with all the colors that reflect the reds yellows and oranges. A man is sitting next to her observing the beautiful scene and eating a hand made picnic.
I tend to get lost in beautiful things. I love to remember them when I'm sad, which is often. The scenes pop up in my mind like a slide show of all my favorite things. I never really pay attention to what's around me. I seem to only exist in my own world since I can't fit into everyone else’s. I really don't keep track of time either. Usually I'm late but by some miracle I sometimes get there really early. The city seemed to fade away from reality and the daydreams started. I usually daydream when I'm sad or nervous. I guess it's a way to protect myself from the harsh cruel reality. I never do realize when I daydream either, which isn't a good thing.
I was in a dark warehouse with Fluffy playing. I threw the squeaky toy to the other side of the door. Fluffy went to fetch it when all of a sudden a tall creepy man crushed it with the heel of his shoe. His glare was evil. His eyes were black and cold. I gasped from the back of my throat.
"What do you want?" I hesitantly backed away from him.
He did a disturbing chuckle and walked towards me. I was immobilized and oddly peaceful. He pulled out his jagged knife and rubbed it on his leather glove. The twisted smile on his face caused me to panic and struggle. I wanted to scream but I couldn't. He grabbed me and placed the knife on my neck.
"I'll kill her I swore!" He threatened violently.
"No you won't. You love her too much." A soft voice replied out of the darkness.
"You're wrong. I will if you force me to." He bantered back. He started to break a sweat. He was probably nervous.
"Let her go she had no part in this. This is between you and me not Lana."
"W-" He was cut off.
My dream abruptly ended. A firm hand grabbed my arm.
"Ahhh!" I gasped really loud.
I turned around to look at the person and I was in a state of shock. It was a tall guy with golden blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. He had a concerned look on his gentle face.
'Oh my gosh who is he? Where am I?' I have so many questions fluttering thru my head.
"Um are you ok?" He kindly asked letting go of my arm.
"...I guess so. What happened?" My brain was trying to solve my dilemma.
"Didn't you see that car coming?"
"No, I guess I wasn't paying attention, but can you tell me where I am?"
"Don't you know?" He sounded confused and I nodded shyly. Then I heard some giggles coming from his friends behind him.
"No, but can you tell me where Rock hill high is?” I tried to focus on something familiar but I didn't find anything.
"You’re at Rock hill high in the parking lot. A car almost hit you. I grabbed you before you got hit. What were you thinking!?" He slightly raised his voice at me.
"I don't know. I just moved here."
'Boy does he have a temper. I didn't even do anything.'
"Oh sorry 'bout me snapping at you like that. So you must be new then, right?" He pieced together slowly.
"Yeah I moved here over the summer." A small grin was pasted on his face.
"Well since your new I'll show ya' around. What grade are you in?" My face felt really hot like I had a fever. I didn't notice that I was blushing.
".......Well....um I'm in ninth grade."
"Cool I am too."
' I'm being punked right? This really can't be happening. How is a guy like him talking to me? I must be day dreaming.'
"My name's Klark and this is my brother Ori-on." The other boys left and headed to the main building.
'What's my name again?'
"Uh...I'm Lana nice to meet you both." Orion stalked off in the other direction.
' Please calm down Lana. He's just a guy. Don't do anything stupid.'
" Well if you want we can go to the office, and see if we have the same classes." He said staring down at me.
"Sure… Lead the way."
'This day might go well after all. Thank you God!'
I looked off into the distance to see what was out there. The city's skyscrapers could be seen in the distance behind the school. The campus was very green. Plants and trees sprouted from every corner of it. Everything was alive and still vibrant from the past summer. Some flowers were blooming getting ready for fall and others were withering getting ready for spring.
'It's beautiful outside. I'll eat outside by that cherry blossom tree.'
"Um… Lana?"
"Yeah."
"You seem distant. Are you ok?" His eyes looked worried for some reason.
"Yeah I'm fine." I repeated again.
"I don't mean to pry but you day dream a lot don't you?" He hesitated.
"You’re not prying and yes I do. Why?"
"I'm just curious. My friends say I ask to many questions."
"I don't think you do but I guess others will."
"You know I day dream too. I never really space out like you did on the sidewalk. Why do you day dream so often?"
"I really don't know why I just do."
"It's ok if you don't want to tell me. I understand that you might be suspicious of me." He looked down at his feet while he led me to the office.
'How does he know everything? Seriously I think he understands me.'
The doors to the office and reception area were huge. The counters were smooth cream granite and the reception desk was positioned towards the window. A short and stalky platinum blonde came from the other side of the office. She didn't seem to notice that we were standing there.
"Excuse me. Can you please tell us our schedules and classes?" Klark's words slid off his tongue like a routine melody.
"Sure that’s not a problem." She eyed him from his hair to his waist.
'Ugh she is so desperate. I can tell.'
"That's Jade she's a sophomore that works in the office for extra credit. Let's just say she's not as smart as us." He whispered in my ear facing his back towards Jade. Jade is very creepy. She watched Klark's every move. Either he knows or he is really retarded. She blushed every time he said something to her and tried to do it. Finally she found our schedules and handed them to Klark.
"Thanks, I appreciate it." He roughly stated.
"You’re welcome any time." She waved and winked as we left the room.
"So do we have any classes together?" I asked him while he was analyzing the schedules.
"Yeah we have all classes except one.... Your taking French are you serious? Dang girl you’re smart.” His eyes popped out of his head when he saw that.
"I took Spanish when I was in fourth and sixth grade and I speak the language fluently." I blush every time he compliments me.
For some reason I bloom when I'm around him. It’s like he understands everything about me. It’s like he actually cares about my problems and me. The bell rang and Klark grabbed my hand and dragged me to the homeroom. The classroom was very dark and dreary I felt a million eyes on me. That's no exaggeration either.
Klark let go of my hand when we walked inside the room. The fat stubby woman rushed thru the door with a whole bunch of books and papers in her hands. She slammed them on the desk and everyone jumped when they boomed.
"Good morning I am Mrs. Farkas. I will take attendance now so please when I call on you say here."
"Angel Mitchell are you here?" she called.
"Here… I’m in the corner." She rudely snapped.
“Alyce Rune…”
“Here.” Her squeaky voice replied.
“Nakita Sly…”
“Here.” Her voice calmly purred.
“Aries Star…”
“Here.” His scratchy voice hurt my ears.
“Clyde Willas…”
“Here.” His deep but loud voice replied from the back of the room.
“Klark Smith…”
“Here.” His soft and gentle voice chimed.
“Lana Marshall…”
“Lana she’s talking to you.” Klark elbowed me gently nodding his head.
“Oh… I’m here.” The class snickered in unison.
Mrs. Farkas’ glare sent a shiver down my spine. I figure she thinks I’m a troublemaker. Hopefully I will send a good impression to the other teachers. She continued on while the kids goofed off in the back.
“Ok when the bell rings head for the gymnasium for the assembly.” She instructed.
Time seemed to slow down in the room. My mind was to relaxed and unfocused. My eyes blurred and crossed wildly. My eyes and mind started to slip away, again.
Interesting fantasies I never thought of had popped up in my mind. It was a calm ocean scene with the crystal clear waves tickling my feet. Shells surrounded me and the trees leaned towards the sun almost as bowing down to it. I was lying on the smooth sand tanning in the hot sun. A woman holding a nice cool bottle of water offered me some to drink. I took the bottle and started to drink but I spilled it all over myself. The cool sensation caused me to jerk my leg away.
Suddenly I felt a strange urge to go to the water to find something or someone. All I know is that when I started to swim underwater a huge creature started to head towards shore. It looked vicious. I tried to stop it somehow, but my efforts were in vain. The creature locked me in place and started to rip me apart slowly but painfully. The funny thing is I didn’t die someone risked their life for me, for me a stupid girl who lives in her own little world. The blood stained water made me feel sick and noxious.
A nudge brought me back to the reality I have hated for so long. Why do all my daydreams sneak up on me? I feel like the stuff I see in them are gonna come true one day. Sometimes I hope I’m wrong but the evidence. The evidence I see scare me to death I always wake up crying in my sleep. I have hallucinations of blood and pain everywhere I go.
‘Why do I have so such interruptions and bizarre dreams that I can’t explain?’
The bell rang and the students started to walk towards the auditorium.
“Lana let’s go.” Klark shook me soft but his grip hurt me a little too much.
“Oww not so hard, please.” I yelped while Klark unhooked his grip from my fragile shoulders.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you its just you scare me when you space out like that. You know you should warn me.”
“Oh, sorry.” I deeply blushed. “I don’t think I can warn you when I’m about to space out.”
“Well could you tell me the symptoms?”
“Symptoms?”
“Yeah the signs before you space out.”
“Hmm well I get really quiet.”
“Lana your always quiet.” He retorted playfully.
“I guess I look really tired or sleepy, I’m usually relaxed, and my vision gets crossed and blurry. That’s all I can think of.”
He looked like he was in deep concentration thinking about something. He cocked his head to the side and rested his medium sized hand on his chin. He hesitated when he was about to say something.
“Hey Lana…”
“Hum…Yes.
“Well you…I think we should catch up to the others.” I never realized that the room was vacant everyone was gone.
‘I don’t think he’s telling me what he really wants to say but no worries, right? Ok I really want to know so let me say something… not being obvious of course.’
“Yeah I guess we should. Is that everything?”
“Yes…I mean no. Well I really don’t know.” He squirmed around in his words. I guess I made him feel uncomfortable.
“It’s ok I don’t mean to pry…” I said looking down at my knee-highs.
“Its not that your prying I just don’t know how to ask what I’m thinking.”
‘Oh this cannot be good. I feel a personal question coming up.’
“Uh…ok Lana what do you daydream about?”
‘Oh crap I knew this was bound to come up sooner or later.’
“Well what do you wanna know?” The silence was causing me to feel anxious and definitely nervous.
“What ever you want to share.”
‘Great… like that helps me to narrow it down.’
It took me a lot of time to figure out what I’m going to say but then inspiration from the painting popped in my head.
“I dream about sitting by the sunsets and observing nature all around me. Sitting under a cherry blossom tree enjoying the fruits of its labor. The pretty colors that fade into each other and paves the way for the stars.”
“Wow that sounds very beautiful and heartfelt. I wish I could see them.” He wished and fantasized as I dreaded to lie to hide the horrors that filled my very soul.
The auditorium was full of chattering students fooling around while the teachers filed in one by one. The fat chubby man, who I assumed was the principle, Mr.Keesler stepped up to the podium.
“Good morning, I’m glad to see you all for another school year. I am excited to see a lot of new faces in here. If you don’t mind I would like to see all the new students stand up, please.
Klark, Angel, and many others stood up with us. The student body clapped and seemed to approve of us. I never felt so excited to start school before. I had a feeling that this year would be very different from the rest. The clapping ended and I sat down and patiently waited for his speech to be over.
“Just to let you know the newspaper and yearbook committees are looking for new people to help out please feel free to sign up. Also the recreational arts and sports are starting too so sign up and have fun!” He had so much enthusiasm I decided I would take a look and see what they have.
Then Mrs. Farkas sluggishly stepped up to the podium.
“School elections and spirit week are two weeks away. We will give the candidates a week and a half to win your votes so decide wisely. Also class offices are available too. Recommendations will be recorded in your homerooms. You can report to first period now.
“So Klark what’s our first class?”
“Well first we have English and then you have French.”
‘Ugh! Great I have two language classes in the morning. Just what I needed.’
“All right let’s go.”
“Hold on a minute. We have to get our lockers first. This way!” He grabbed my hand yet again and raced through the hall.
“Slow down before you rip my arm off!”
“Huh… Oh sorry I just want to get a top locker and one next to yours so you won’t get lost.” He freed my hand and kept running.
“Where are you going?” I hollered following him down the hall massed with people pushing to get to their classes.
“To the south side where we are closer to the exits but farther from our classes. Apparently it’s safer down here and there is more of a possibility to get the lockers we want.” He completed his case.
“Are we almost there?” I moaned.
“Obviously if I am still running do you think we are?”
“Is that a trick question?” I twisted my head to the side.
“No…now move a little faster or else we are going to be late.”
“Okay I’m trying my best. It’s hard to run in flats!” I screeched.
He vanished around the corner and left me behind. I jumped and leaped thru the crowd, but my attempts failed. Again I am alone by myself with no one to search or find me. Then this situation reminded me of a song I used to sing when I felt alone it comforted me in the darkest moments of my despair.
‘ I’m standing in the dark. But there’s nobody here right now. There’s nothing but the rain no footsteps on the ground. I’m listening but there’s no sound.
Chorus
Isn’t anyone trying to find me? Won’t somebody come take me home! It’s that damn cold night trying figure out this life. Won’t you take me by the hand take me somewhere new? I don’t know who you are, but I… I’m with you. Oh I’m with you.
I’m searching thru this place. I’m looking for a face is anybody here I know. Cause nothing’s going right and everything’s a mess. And no one likes to be alone.
Chorus
Oh why is everything so confusing? Or maybe I’m just out of my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeeaahh!
It’s that damn cold night. I’m trying to figure out this new? I don’t know who you are but I… I’M with YOU! Oh I’m with you.
“Watch where your going trash!” A snooty girl barked.
“Yeah watch where your going trash! You almost hurt Belonna. You brainless worm.” Her snobby puppets retorted brusquely.
I just stand there grasping their burning words.
‘Great I am already a target and it’s the first day of school… A new record!’
I tried to walk away like my mom tells me to when I lose my temper but no they had to block my path. The girls gaped at me with eager eyes resembling hungry dogs dying for a fight.
“Where do you think your going, freshman or should I say fresh meat?” The petite one wisecracked while pushing me into another one of the assailants.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw four girls watching the struggle from their lockers. Their eyes blaze with disgust that I can feel from far. They assembled in a close-fitting line and headed for us.
Three other observant girls joined in slowly approaching my side. They inspected the five girls harassing me and sneered at them. At that moment the tall girl with golden brown hair stepped forward bravely.
“What’s this, Belonna a new toy? Why are you taunting someone like her.” She viciously glimpsed at me.
“Why does it matter to you, Mitchell? she snapped.
“She’s one of Klark’s friends and she’s defenseless against you.” Angel commented attempting to intimidate Belonna.
“Pick on someone better fitted for you , Mitchell. You know like the eighth graders!” Belonna glanced around and picked out this dumpy nerd who had his nasal spray in his hands.
“What do you want?” He shrilled trying to sound innocent.
Belonna’s clique started to laugh at the quivering boy. His dainty skin reddened when the girls ridiculed him. When that boy stared into my eyes it reminded me of when I was small and picked on. It felt really bad.
The anger boiled up inside of me. I felt comparable to a volcano ready to spout the hot magma on the naive citizens dwelling in the area. I can’t take it anymore.
“Just leave him alone! Let him go or else.” I warned. Angel and her friends just stared baffled at my shielding of the tiny boy.
“Is that her brother or something?” One girl whispered to Angel.
“I don’t know. Either that girl has nerve or she’s acting on an impulse.” She whispered back.
“Or else what you’ll beat us up? I don’t think so. Girls teach this pushover a lesson.” Belonna demanded with her swaying motivation.
The girls surrounded me regularly grimacing at me. They inched closer and closer rendering my claustrophobia. Belonna paced around waiting for the right moment to pounce on me. Tiny beads of sweat slid down my spine and I shuddered waiting for the pain.
At first I didn’t notice the students gathering around to see the commotion but when she paced I tried to look away. She smiled an unsettling grin and leaped high into the air. I shut my eyes when I saw her jagged teeth in her crooked twisted smile. She focused on me, snarled, and thrust me thru the lockers behind me. My eyes shot open with the powerful impact to my chest. The bystanders gasped and covered their mouths with their hands. They pointed at me with shock and concern filled their faces. Belonna’s mouth flew open and her eyes were wide with fear. I looked down at my hands and I couldn’t see them.
‘What’s happening to me? This must be a daydream or something.’
I blinked and time seemed to slow down as I stopped moving thru the air into a small cramped space. It had shingle-like openings for air I guess. Shuffling students raced by the space I was in. I banged on what I thought was the way out of this restricted space.
All of a sudden a face popped up in front of the ridges. The hinges unclipped and the door swung open and I fell out on the cold hard floor. The guy almost screamed like a girl when I squeezed my way out.
‘Thank God that I’m wearing a skort or else I would have really been embarrassed. Where am I? Where is everyone? Did I just come out of that locker? i guess so.. Whoa this is one bizarre day. I hope he didn’t see that… whatever happened.
“Lana that was suicide you don’t mess with Belonna. What the heck were you doing?! Are you crazy? She could've have killed you.” Klark bellowed while I was struggling to get back on my feet. He dropped his book bag on the floor and assisted me off the floor. I brushed off the dirt and dust off my shirt.
“Belonna was cruel and started to harass me. Angel and her friends stopped Belonna from harassing me but then they, Belonna’s goons, grabbed a small eight grader and tormented him too. I couldn’t stand to see him hurt like I was. So I yelled, “Let him go or else!” I exploded on them threatening something serious. They felt intimidated and threatened so she and her goons came closer to me. Belonna was pacing the ground like a cat. She pounced and shoved me into the lockers but I never hit them. Then I ended up in the locker. That’s all I remember.” I blurted out.
“I know what happened Lana I was in the crowd. I knew something like that would happen that’s why I held your hand so tight. I didn’t want any trouble.” He scolded gazing into my eyes.
“I’m sorry I won’t do that again.”
A familiar feeling of sorrow awakened in my soul. I looked at the floor and its patterns to distract myself. My mind was already set on “crying mode”. The annoying sobs escaped my chest and tears brimmed my sad eyes. The hot steamy tears flowed down my rosy cheeks and fell to the floor.
‘Stupid tears stop flowing! It’s only the first day and I’m posted as a freak. Now Klark’s mad at me to. This day couldn’t get any worse. I hope my eyes didn’t adjust with my mood. I bet my eyes did. I bet their dark blue.’
“Lana?”
“Hum?”
“Don’t cry please. I didn’t mean to make you sad. I’m sorry I guess forgot how fragile you are. It’s just that you make me worry so much. Worry causes me to go insane especially around you.” He tenderly avowed.
I looked up from the floor and stared into his honest blue-gray eyes. Tears continuously dripping down my face. I was hoping my eyes wouldn’t alarm him, but amazement occupied his face. He stepped towards me and enclosed me in his strong arms.
I didn’t know or remember if I had feelings for him or not. All I remember from the last time I saw him was that he was the most charming guy at that school. Even looking back I don’t recall having feelings for him. I guess I do have feelings for him now. I guess I was hesitant at first but my “true” emotions gave in. I hugged him back out of pure impulse. My head rested on his shoulder while he whispered in my ear.
“Don’t cry please. I hate to see you cry.” He melodiously whispered.
“I tried not to but they never listen to me.” I complained.
“One question…”
“Yes?”
“Why do your eyes change color?”
“Well they change along with my emotions. Why?”
“What’s dark blue?”
“I’m just a little sad. If I’m depressed they’ll turn a light blue.
‘I hate when they give away my feelings though.’
“Why are you crying? Did I make you sad?” He appeared anxious.
“No, well you just added to the problem. It’s just similar to the other schools I’ve been to. Someone is always trying to kill me or humiliate me. So much so that sometimes I don’t want to exist.” I timidly disclosed.
He clutched me securely by the shoulders and stared deeply in my eyes. He was attempting to probe my mind or search for answers.
“Lana, have you tried to hurt yourself?” He inquired nosily.
‘Yes, but that was my past I’m over that now… Well not entirely but I’m seeing a psychiatrist.’
“Lana have you?” He forced more pressure on me. His fingers were griping harder on my pressure points.
“Eh! Just leave me alone! Let go of me, Klark!” I struggled to brake free from his tense grip. His hands were ripped from my shoulders. I glimpsed at his stunned face and set off to run down the hallway.
_________________________
On my way to class I ran into Angel and her crew.
“Hi.” I timidly voiced.
“Hey girl that was amazing. How did you do that?” The petite girl with short jet-black hair squealed.
“Alyce chill she’s still a little shaken up.” Angel under toned.
“I really don’t know to tell you the truth. But can you guys help me? I need someone to help me with getting to class.” I pleaded.
“Hum, well I guess we could since we’re in the same classes.”
“Thank you so much I appreciate it a whole lot! By the way if you guys see Klark hide me please.” I tried to sound composed and innocent.
“Why?” Alyce interrogated.
“I wish I could tell you but I don’t think I should. I’m trying to compose myself and I don’t want to start crying again.”
“He made you cry? What did he do to you?”
“I’m sorry I can’t talk about it now.” I evaded efficiently.
While I was talking to them a tiny figure peeked around the corner staring at me. It resembled the boy I saved but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions.
“Well let’s go before we’re late, ok?” Alyce advised while wrapping her short arm around my shoulders. Apparently Angel did not enjoy my company since she said nothing to me. She seemed to avoid chattering with me. She was alienating me from the group while Alyce tried to cheer me up.
‘Alyce is so nice, but why does she hang out with Angel? Angel seems cold but somewhat caring. I wish I knew more about people.’
“Ok we’re here!” Alyce sniggered to me.
“Yay!” I sarcastically tried to sound enthused.
“Don’t be a party pooper!” Nakita slickly rolled off her tongue.
“To be safe around Alyce do these three things… Laugh at her jokes, never stare at her clothes or her, and never leave her out of important secrets. She is very self-conscious and easily upset. Please don’t make her cry. If you do… we can’t help ya, you know?”
“I get it I won’t make her cry. So do you have any idea what the teacher is like?”
“Actually we have a new teacher this year. So we don’t know anything about her.”
“I hope she is really nice. If she’s not I will get penalized at a lot for not participating in class.” I sank down in confidence and my posture showed that.
The classroom was nothing spectacular but it was large. It had beige walls with spit wads in many different colors suspended on the ceiling. About seven rows of wooden desks lined the classroom frame. All but seven desks were filled all next to or diagonally set apart from each other. I scanned the room for Klark’s face but disappointment showed up on my face.
Angel elbowed me right in the ribs. She huddled with her posy and suggested them to sit in the back. There were four seats open in the back all next to each other.
“Lana we’re gonna sit in the back see ya.” Alyce peeped quietly in my ear.
“Ok see ya later then Alyce.” I drooped my shoulders and slumped to a seat towards the middle of the class. All the eyes were on the gossip about me as I walked towards my desk. People started to snicker and point in my direction.
‘I wish Klark were here. I shouldn’t have been so rude or misunderstanding. I guess he was only trying to help me. It’s just my past is a very touchy subject. I have never been the same since the death of my sister. It was my entire fault she died and now I’m paying for it!’
Just as I wished for his presence he waltzed thru the door to the desk next to me not even bothering to look in my direction. He slightly glanced at me and his eyes were full of pain and I probably caused it.
‘He’s trying to be your friend and you sabotage it in a matter of minutes! Great, a new record of my notorious behavior issues… If I didn’t hurt anyone I think I would have a lot more friends. Why am I so stupid?!’
‘What should I do? He’s probably upset and a little hurt. Will he listen? Why do I care so much?’
A battle brewed in my mind. The crucial fight deciding to either break down my protection wall or keeping it up. My thoughts scrambled around trying to find something to make him feel better. I felt responsible for inflicting pain and sadness on him. So I reached out for his hand but before I touched it he grabbed my hand and turned to me.
‘I’m so stupid I pushed him away and he was only trying to help. Now I’m going to get what I deserve.’
“Lana I’m sorry if I made you upset with me. Can you forgive me?” I ecstatically gasped and blushed while the shock diminished.
“Klark I’m the one who should be sorry.” I fiddled with a bow in my hair.
“No, you aren’t! I am… It’s because I was trying to pry. A flashback reminded me of something I wanted to ask you for a long time since that day. Remember the day I snuck into the girl’s locker room? Well what really happened was my friends and I made a hole to see… well you know. Anyways I saw your scarred arms. I kind of… Well I was “spying” on you guys thru the wall. I saw you and a long scar on your forearm. Disbelief filled my thoughts and I started jumping to conclusions. Feeling guilty I patched up the hole I made and buried what I saw in my soul. So I didn’t cause you any more pain or trouble for you.” He confessed with a shameful countenance.
“You-You saw my scar?” I clasped my hand over my mouth and wheezed. I thought about the war raging inside of me. I start to distrust my heart’s judgment and put the wall back up.
“I’m sorry for ever bringing it up. I should’ve just let it go. But I couldn’t not when I saw you walking with a sweater on. It’s like you’re trying to hide your past. Trying to figure out what life is really all about and fitting in to the world.”
He stared into my eyes as if he was reading my thoughts or looking into my mind. I ended the “link” between him and my mind and felt really dizzy.
The teacher walked into the class with finesse and pride. Her tall figure and posture made her seem superior to the fact that she could teach us a vast amount of knowledge. She looked very young like a nineteen or in early twenties. She gently placed her books on her tiny desk and started to talk.
“Good morning I’m Ms. Bu’mmer. Now today I would like to take the time to get to know all of you. So starting from the back row I would like you to introduce yourselves.”
“Are you kidding me? They’re more intros.” Angel complained to her friends. She stood up and announced to the class.
“I am Alyce Rune.”
“I am Aries Star.”
“I am Angel Mitchell.”
“I am Nakita Sly.”
The people’s intros went on and on. I examined the room and found out that in each row there were twelve desks and seven rows. This classroom held seventy-two students in my class. Were there more? All I know is that this school is way bigger than private school. I was so used to thirty people in my class. I never expected this many. I took a quick look at my watch. It took twenty minutes just to get thru the first three rows and we still have four more rows to go.
“I am Clyde Willas.”
“I am Puffy Rhodes.”
As time passed by I disregarded the intros and pulled out my green spiral notebook from my red book bag. I grabbed my silver mechanical pencil and started to sketch a girl.
First I drew her big green round eyes and her blush marks underneath them. After that I sketched her head and straight long red hair to compliment her eyes. I drew small round ears with large golden hoop earrings with studded hearts on the in side. Then I drew her nose and neck using the proper shading techniques. She wore a jade green tube top with gold engravings in spiral motions and long dark form fitting skinny jeans. On her feet I drew gold peep toe flats with a silver accent strand. She had an onyx rose ring on her left hand and a couple of gold bangles on her left.
I stared at the picture admiring my work. No one appreciated my art everyone criticized my ideas. Everyone, everyone but my mom I guess she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. A familiar voice proudly announced his name but I wasn’t really paying attention.
“I am Klark Smith.” Silence followed after his intro for some reason.
“Lana?” Klark whispered.
“Huh?”
“It’s your turn.” Klark hinted discreetly thru his teeth.
“Oops I’m sorry.” I whispered back. Embarrassment filled my pale face giving an obvious indication that I was blushing.
I stood up with my knees locking in place to maintain my balance. I sensed the eyes of my classmates on my back waiting for my turn to be over.
“I am Lana Marshall.” I nervously strained the words out of my throat.
“Ok thank you Lana.” Ms. Bu’mmer sweetly heartened.
I couldn’t sit down because my legs wouldn’t move. I started to shake violently and gasped for air.
“Lana?” Klark stared at me perplexed.
“I don’t know.” I mouthed to Klark.
“Lana its ok. You can sit.” Ms. Bu’mmer encouraged.
“Ms. Bu’mmer can I take Lana to the nurse?” Klark demanded.
“Yes, you may take her. Here’s your pass. Get there fast please. Aw poor girl she got nervous on her first day.”
“Thank you Ms. Bu’mmer!” Klark answered heading towards me. The room started to spin around and around me.
‘I feel like I’m gonna throw up.’
Klark scooped me up in his arms and carried me out the room. Everyone started to gossip and life went on.
“Your going to be ok.” He reassured me while I was panicking.
“Yeah that’s what you say no-.”
“Lana?”
“Lana!? Please open your eyes. Stay with me.” He pleaded.
The room darkened and I fell into the place where I always rest. It’s the world of unconsciousness where I happen to visit too frequently.
