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 Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:10 pm
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1. "Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny."
2. "Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe."
3. "Tobacco is my favorite vegetable."
4. "There is no hell. There is only France."
5. "Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up."
6. "Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid."
7. "It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner."
8. "A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it's not open."
9. "If we can't be free at least we can be cheap."
10. "Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better."
11. "You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER."
12. "There will never be a nuclear war; there's too much real estate involved."
13. "Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph."
14. "Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?"
15. "Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport."
16. "You drank beer, you played golf, you watched football - WE EVOLVED!"
17. "You have just destroyed one model XQJ-37 nuclear powered pansexual roto-plooker....and you're gonna have to pay for it."
18. "Interviewer: "So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?"
FZ: "You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?"
19. "Without deviation from the norm, 'progress' is not possible."
20. "Who are the brain police?"
21. "The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinosaur turds in the middle of his runway."
22. "There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another."
23. "Hey, you know something people? I'm not black, but there's a whole lots a times I wish I could say I'm not white."
24. "Most people wouldn't know good music if it came up and bit them in the a**."
25. "Politics is the entertainment branch of industry."
26. "There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
27. "There are three things that smell of fish. One of them is fish. The other two are growing on you!"
28. "May your s**t come to life and kiss you on the face."
29. "Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance, it's what makes America great."
30. "Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is THE BEST."
31. "Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die."
32. "The creation and destruction of harmonic and 'statistical' tensions is essential to the maintenance of compositional drama. Any composition (or improvisation) which remains consonant and 'regular' throughout is, for me, equivalent to watching a movie with only 'good guys' in it, or eating cottage cheese."
33. "A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians."
34. "All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff."
35. "Art is making something out of nothing and selling it."
36. "Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff."
37. "Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence."
38. "I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird."
39. "I searched for years I found no love. I'm sure that love will never be a product of plasticity."
40. "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library."
41. "It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."
42. "Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read."
43. "Music is always a commentary on society."
44. "Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something."
45. "No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to."
46. "One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds."
47. "Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe."
48. "There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it."
49. "The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows."
50. "The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced."
51. "Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read."
52. "You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream."
53. "So many books, so little time."
54. "If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your s**t, then you deserve it."
55. "Music is the only religion that delivers the goods."
56. "A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an a*****e."
57. "I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY ******** than you are, hey-y, so watch out."
58. "The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater."
59. "The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just keep your ******** mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions."
60. "I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?"
61. "The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively-- because, without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a 'box' around it because otherwise, what is that s**t on the wall?"
62. "A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment. "
63. "Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity."
64. "I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right."
65. "The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of _____ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like."
66. "The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house."
Frank Zappa, ladies and gentlemen.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:35 am
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Chieftain Twilight Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:38 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 7:27 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 10:54 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 4:22 pm
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A dog fed on fine white bread flower and water does not live beyond the 50th day. A dog fed on the coarse bread of the military lives and keeps his health.
--Francois Magendie, writing in Lancet, 1826
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Don't hate me for the next one, but it really just made me laugh; I found one of the men responsible for the sex taboo in American Christian thinking, and possibly the source of the "porn makes you blind" myth.
--Sylvester Graham, Presbyterian minister and advocate of vegetarianism, temperance, and abstinence. A Lecture to Young Men on Chastity, 1834. On the perils of frequent (more than monthly) copulation between married couples:
Languor, lassitude, muscular relaxation, general debility and heaviness, depression of spirits, loss of appetite, indigestion, faintness and sinking in the pit of the stomach, increased susceptibilities of the skin and lungs to all the atmospheric changes, feebleness of circulation, chilliness, headache, melancholy, hypochondria, hysterics, feebleness of all the senses, impaired vision, loss of sight, weakness of the lungs, nervous cough, pulmonary consumption, disorders of the liver and kidneys, urinary difficulties, disorders of the genital organs, spinal diseases, weakness of the brain, loss of memory, epilepsy, insanity, apoplexy.
This is also the guy who advised that ketchup and mustard cause friskiness, leading to insanity; self-gratification results in blindness, paralysis, and senility; chicken pie causes cholera; and white bread promotes promiscuity.
rofl rofl pirate rofl pirate rofl rofl
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ScarletFrost Vice Captain
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ScarletFrost Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:18 pm
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 11:08 am
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Chieftain Twilight Captain
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ScarletFrost Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:56 am
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Chieftain Twilight ScarletFrost “Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. How many hours are there in a mile? Is yellow square or round? Probably half the questions we ask—half our great theological and metaphysical problems—are like that.” -- C. S. Lewis, The Problem of PainI especially like this one. whee and yeh, that above one is hilareous. xd I can say that because, despite how large a number of people may actually believe it, far too many will never be able to believe it even if they tried. xd the promiscuous people of the world remain safe from the rampant murderous danger of haters. certainly alot safer than the victims of the "god hates __ x__" folks. ._. they scare me, because they have a sizable following.
That breed of crazy comes from sitting in a little room with extremely limited reading material for extremely long periods of time. They're scary, but I can't help but pity them. I mean, there are so many BIGGER problems in the world. Why get all bent out of shape over the technical propriety of someone else's private life?
I also think it's funny that all these people who look down on those of us who like some spice in the bedroom and base their abstinent/missionary prejudice on the bible NEVER read the Song of Solomon. Never. It's only the most pornographic book in the bible, offering fairly concrete SUPPORT of all kinds of "freaky" sexual activity. You know. Nothing these uber-tight-asses would want to admit exists.
But then again, most of the nosy prudes I've met disregard the entire old testament. rolleyes |
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