Domestic Violence

[MissDemeter]

I have always known about domestic violence. My mother and Oma (grandmother) were abused by my Oma's first husband. Then they fled The Netherlands and came to Canada. A year later, my Oma married my grandfather, Andy. In the last 5-6 years of their marriage he became and alcoholic and was abusive. To Oma, not to my mother, my aunt or my uncle. Also, a friend of mine, she was abused by her boyfriend. And another friend was heavily abused by her mother and father.

So it's not really a realization I've just had, I've always known the horrors of abuse. (I have not personally experienced it though) And I feel that it isn't talked about enough. So I was disappointed when a PSA starring Keira Knightly was banned. It shows her being abused, and it's somewhat graphic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctoZbeD-GlY

It's very powerful, and I love that it was made. I hate that it was banned. People need to hear about this! Many people believe that it's okay to hit their children or significant others. (It's not just abuse against women, many men are physically and verbally abused by their wives)

So. Thoughts? Opinions? Did you like the video? Do you think there should be more exposure on this issue? And have you ever experienced anything like this happening?  

[Captain_Shinzo]

Welcome to America. Abandon all hope along with dignity.
Also, the lost and found is to the left.

I am disappointed that this was not aired for the fact that abuse is a large problem considering it is the number one cause of mental stress in people and can ruin your life. A friend of mine is abused very much and my father is an alcoholic who is verbally abusive and likes to break s**t. I'm surprised America, Home of the a*****e, banned this.  

[Raticiel]

Sorry, I can't watch the movie with my ultra-hyper-slow connection at home, but I think I get the idea.
I'm sure that this is a big problem. Just about 10 years ago most women in Poland couldn't even complain about this. In poor regions filled with alcohol it's still a serious problem, and the fact that drinking husband is the only one money making person in the whole house ties woman down (there are always children and so). A friend of mine had these problems so I took her to my house, but even then she couldn't live so freely after all this.  

[=X-Sparker + AquaKiller=]

The reason why I doubt I'll get romantically involved with
anyone in the future. And why I'll get a gun (+license) as soon as I can.

Love is beautiful, love is nice. Love isn't worth it when your life is on the line.

 

[brainnsoup]

=X-Sparker + AquaKiller=

The reason why I doubt I'll get romantically involved with
anyone in the future. And why I'll get a gun (+license) as soon as I can.

Love is beautiful, love is nice. Love isn't worth it when your life is on the line.

I'm not really a strong believer in love.
But it's not worth it to miss out on love because of the chance that you'll fall for someone who might be abusive. ):  

[alteregoivy]

I agree it's a huge issue. Too many put up with it. I'm glad I've never actually had personal contact with it.

Though what bothers me more often than this is parents who discipline their children by hitting them. I don't mean the stuff that is obviously abuse and will cause their kids to be taken away; I mean the stuff that's accepted in society like spanking. I really don't think corporeal punishment of any kind is warranted or appropriate. You're teaching your children fear and to respond to problems with violence, not discipline.

Of course that's easy for me to say when I don't have kids. But my parents really didn't have much need of it, and we turned out okay. I think shows like Supernanny are a good influence, because she's trying to teach discipline without resorting to violence.

As for the ad... It is very powerful. I don't think it should be banned. On the other hand, I do know people who suffer from PTSD, and this sort of ad would probably trigger a panic attack for them. So, with that in mind, I can sort of see why the ad was banned.  

[Raticiel]

Well, I'm sure if my partner hurts me in any way I'm going to leave. No excuses, no "forgive me" nor "this will never happen again"/"I got upset" and any stuff like this...
Another friend of mine got hit by her child's daddy, before pregnancy, during being pregnant, after the birth... And all she had to say was "but I love him"... It took a long time for her to realize. Love can blind you even with such basic stuff as your own safety.

And about children... It's simple, if you hurt them badly, they will hurt others too. But it depends on the child. My mom used to hit me a lot when I was a kid but I never turned violent. Stalin's father also used to hit his kid often and Stalin started killing masses.
I think what's more important is the overall childhood's atmosphere and also how is violence seen by people around the child, if they for example glorify it, the child learns violence and being tough is good.  

[=X-Sparker + AquaKiller=]

brainnsoup

I'm not really a strong believer in love.
But it's not worth it to miss out on love because of the chance that you'll fall for someone who might be abusive. ):

It may not be worth it to you, but it is to me. Romantic love means nothing to me now. Of course, we should not abandon love for family and friends, but romance...? Meh, I can do without it.

btw my quote was intended for women who are already being abused and yet still hopelessly cling to her love for that abusive person, and/or doesn't go for help because of that.

 

[=X-Sparker + AquaKiller=]

Raticiel

...And about children... It's simple, if you hurt them badly, they will hurt others too. But it depends on the child. My mom used to hit me a lot when I was a kid but I never turned violent. Stalin's father also used to hit his kid often and Stalin started killing masses.
I think what's more important is the overall childhood's atmosphere and also how is violence seen by people around the child, if they for example glorify it, the child learns violence and being tough is good.

Actually, statistic studies show that children who grew up in a family where they are hit/physically abused are more likely to abuse their own children in the future: "About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse" (National Child Abuse Statistics).

That doesn't mean everyone will turn violent, of course. Just throwing it out there.

 

[Eccentric Detective]

alteregoivy

I agree it's a huge issue. Too many put up with it. I'm glad I've never actually had personal contact with it.

Though what bothers me more often than this is parents who discipline their children by hitting them. I don't mean the stuff that is obviously abuse and will cause their kids to be taken away; I mean the stuff that's accepted in society like spanking. I really don't think corporeal punishment of any kind is warranted or appropriate. You're teaching your children fear and to respond to problems with violence, not discipline.

Of course that's easy for me to say when I don't have kids. But my parents really didn't have much need of it, and we turned out okay. I think shows like Supernanny are a good influence, because she's trying to teach discipline without resorting to violence.

My dad used to spank us. Still spanks the little ones (who are about 4&5), which is probably illegal. I remember he would always say that he didn't like to do it. To which I always responded, "Then why do you do it, Daddy?" Then he would say some bullshit like "Well, I have to because otherwise...*blahblahblah - insert bad reason here - *
I think his parents hit him too. I can't be sure though.  

[Raticiel]

tearingXheavenXdown

alteregoivy

I agree it's a huge issue. Too many put up with it. I'm glad I've never actually had personal contact with it.

Though what bothers me more often than this is parents who discipline their children by hitting them. I don't mean the stuff that is obviously abuse and will cause their kids to be taken away; I mean the stuff that's accepted in society like spanking. I really don't think corporeal punishment of any kind is warranted or appropriate. You're teaching your children fear and to respond to problems with violence, not discipline.

Of course that's easy for me to say when I don't have kids. But my parents really didn't have much need of it, and we turned out okay. I think shows like Supernanny are a good influence, because she's trying to teach discipline without resorting to violence.

My dad used to spank us. Still spanks the little ones (who are about 4&5), which is probably illegal. I remember he would always say that he didn't like to do it. To which I always responded, "Then why do you do it, Daddy?" Then he would say some bullshit like "Well, I have to because otherwise...*blahblahblah - insert bad reason here - *
I think his parents hit him too. I can't be sure though.

Well, at least I never had to ask "what for?", I always knew why they hit me wink but that doesn't change the fact it was bad. Violence is always bad and maybe kids may learn something from that, but the childhood in the atmosphere of fear is not a nice memory at all...  

[Lyonette]

I thought that spot was wonderful. It was so powerful, I've watched it three times in a row and I still cry each time. I can't believe they wouldn't air that. Having a star like Keira would have been great publicity. Damn stupid people who won't air it!