The Old Testament/Torah = Horror Fiction

[LimeIzMyFaveColor]

If you happen to have a bible, list verse(s) that irritates you/makes you laugh/etc that are from the Old Testament/Torah.

We'll exclude the rest of the bible [New Testament for later discussions]

Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones and burn their Asherah poles in the fire; cut down the idols of their gods and wipe out their names from those places. [Deuteronomy 12:3] [NIV]

Luckily we have freedom of religion in the US.

You must certainly put to the sword all who live in that town. Destroy completely both its people and its livestock. [Deuteronomy 13: 15] [NIV]

This is referring to the people that worship the idols. And to think people believe in these scriptures and they think that this God [who is a jealous and angsty one] would tell them to kill. Apparantly it's not okay to kill Christians but it's okay to kill the Pagans.

o.O  

[dl1371]

so basically, god loves you, unless you worship another deity fascist in the sky?  

[Eccentric Detective]

I had a class on how to interpret the Bible in high school. The best excuse they could come up with was that people's perception of God changed over the years, accounting for the drastic difference between the New and Old Testaments.

>_>
I don't think that fully explains it. Why would God let them think that way and allow them to say that those orders came from God?  

[LimeIzMyFaveColor]

dl1371

so basically, god loves you, unless you worship another deity fascist in the sky?

god loves you if you love him.
god wont like it if you worship other idols.

[i heard this crap every sunday]

EDIT: Oh and fascist is a good word to describe it. =]
[kudos for you]  

[LimeIzMyFaveColor]

tearingXheavenXdown

I had a class on how to interpret the Bible in high school. The best excuse they could come up with was that people's perception of God changed over the years, accounting for the drastic difference between the New and Old Testaments.

>_>
I don't think that fully explains it. Why would God let them think that way and allow them to say that those orders came from God?

I don't know. Religion makes me -sigh-  

[Calamity Rose]

I nominate the whole of Leviticus 15 and 12. This really irritated me when I was younger and attempting to see how these things came from a god that was supposedly loving and just.

If you are unfamiliar with those chapters, they contain the laws about women being unclean while they were on their periods and after birth (twice as long if they gave birth to a girl). How was it supposed to make sense that god designed women to be unclean and kept apart for a week a month? How is it unclean if god designed it?

Anyway, this perpetuated the belief still held by some that periods are dirty and wrong in some way, which pisses me off greatly.

I also still hold that killing people is wrong, even if god ordered it or did it himself. Murder is murder. It's estimated that in the Old Testament alone he killed around 3 million directly. If we count the whole human race dying because of sin, bacteria, viruses, human accident, etc then he effectively is causing the deaths of every single person. Good thing it's fiction, otherwise he would be more "sinful" than Hitler.

My religious family is still unable to answer whether it's wrong for their god to kill. If it is, then he's fallible and not so perfect after all, and if it isn't then we're holding him to a lower standard than supposedly "imperfect" humans.

Apologies for the rant/wall of text.  

[dl1371]

LimeIzMyFaveColor

dl1371

so basically, god loves you, unless you worship another deity fascist in the sky?

god loves you if you love him.
god wont like it if you worship other idols.

[i heard this crap every sunday]

EDIT: Oh and fascist is a good word to describe it. =]
[kudos for you]

hmm...
today i saw a sign that said: God loves you no matter who you are
hypocrites  

[Henneth Annun]

dl1371

LimeIzMyFaveColor

dl1371

so basically, god loves you, unless you worship another deity fascist in the sky?

god loves you if you love him.
god wont like it if you worship other idols.

[i heard this crap every sunday]

EDIT: Oh and fascist is a good word to describe it. =]
[kudos for you]

hmm...
today i saw a sign that said: God loves you no matter who you are
hypocrites

Ooooh, that's worthy of a big.fat.LOL

rofl

"No matter who you are"

Right, like I believe that. rolleyes  

[G4NTZ]

Exodus from start to finish was so horribly irritating. Even as reading material it's just over hyped bs. God literally came down to kill children but when christians look back they think of moses triumphently leading his people away from slavery (even that was drawn out for no particular reason leading to the death of many more egyptians)

Bored doesn't even begin to describe how i felt reading through instructions for dressing and building and sacraficing things for God.

It's books like Exodus that make me think barely anyone reads the bible as they would read an enjoyable book (like battle royal and gantz) by paying attention.  

[Imperfect_Elegance]

the one that irratates me is Psalm 48:11
Let mount Zion rejoice
Let the daughters of Judah be glad
Because of thy judgements
Walk about Zion and go round her: tell her bulwarks consider her palace;
That ye may tell it generation
folling.
For our God is our God for ever and ever :
He will be our giuld even unto death.FIRST LET ME SAY THAT IS THE MOST BORINGEST THING EVER
SECOND THAT IS BULL CRAP LIES LIES LIES AND MORE LIES JUST LIKE THE BIVLE NOTHING BUT LIES  

[LimeIzMyFaveColor]

Where do they discuss the Tower of Babel?
Why did God get mad for them building a Tower to get to heaven, when he knows that to get to heaven you need to believe in him and die.  

[BlackAngelDust]

You know, God killed more people than Satan ever did. It's the truth, the Bible says so too. And they say he's merciful....