Heartbroken... Help an old friend?

[BleuP]

(tl;dr on bottom for people of short attention span)

(I'm really sorry if I jumble up my information everywhere or leave out details. I'm not the best at explaining things.)

Hello Ncult. Some of you old members may remember me from way back in 07-08, and some of you newer members ones won't.
I fell in love in a long distance relationship with the girl of my dreams last September 2008 (The reason I left...). Everything about her was amazing. We even had a secret meeting up in Boston just so our parents could know of each other's existence. Well, she fell out of love with me, in fear that she would depend on me so much that I'd leave her heartbroken, and eventually left me in September 2009. Days before we were going to tell our parents about our relationship.

It's been months now, Cult. I'm still deeply in love with her as I have been from the start, and she even believes me now when I say that I won't leave her. Hell, she even said that she'll give me another chance. She said that if she were to live the life she'd always wanted to, it would be with me. I gave her everything she wanted in a boyfriend. The only problem is that, she fell in love with another guy, her first ex. The guy is a total douche-bag [I'll post quotes if you guys want it] and he is hated by all of her friends. Every time I see her happy because of him, I'm happy for her, but deep down, I'm crying. I haven't had suicidal thoughts, but I often wish I could just disappear.

It would be a dream come true if she'd take me back before Valentine's Day (Or July 4th, since I record that as our first date), but she's already told me that I need to back off, so I doubt that I could get her back by then. I suppose I'm in love with a mixed feeling of jealousy. For Christmas I gave her 1000 GaiaCash, 4 hours spent on getting 950 GaiaCash with offers, and a drawing of mine. He gave her a DVD, flashlight, boxers, old yearbook, can of Axe, and earrings... He's a year older than her, lives three time zones away, and looks stupid when he acts tough.

I don't know what else to say, Cult. I'm in a depressed state where I can't think straight. I've made her art, I've made her poems, I've even made a three page story about the events from September to now, hoping she'd at least feel something more for me. What should I do, Cult? I told her that I'd never leave her, and as stupid as it may sound, I seriously mean it when I say I'd never leave her. I promised her that when we were together, and I don't break promises.

If I need to answer any questions, add details, or show any quotes, I'll do so. I'd love some advice, Cult. I'm just to the point where I want to fall to my knees and cry.


(tl;dr: I've fallen too deeply in love with my ex, and I can't get her back because she wants me to back off, yet she is going to eventually give me another chance. Is there any advice you can give me to use to my advantage?)

(To my old buddies: HAI GUIES! It's hard to return to the Cult, okay? D:< I've tried about 6 times... I'm trying again.)

Edit: And if anyone says I'm stupid for falling in love long distance, as was said in another thread, I will bite your head off... >_>

 

[Orphie]

hi bleu
nice seeing you again

Anyway, the only thing I can offer is to probably back off. Just be yourself, and hopefully she'll come around.  

[Paper Sonic]

Nice to see you, Bleu.
Well man, I don't know what to say to help (I'm not really good with that sort of thing) but it sounds like if her current boyfriend is an a*****e, the relationship won't last long. Also, it's an EX, and usually no matter how circumstances have changed, exes don't usually succeed the second time around.
She SAID she wants to try again, so I would maybe give her some space because you don't want to be a pest. So, just try waiting it out.
Also, I kinda know how it feels to be in this situation...
So yeah, that's all I've got. Sorry I can't be any more helpful... sad  

[BleuP]

Orphie

hi bleu
nice seeing you again

Anyway, the only thing I can offer is to probably back off. Just be yourself, and hopefully she'll come around.

Hey Orphie. Nice to see you too. I think that may be what I'll have to resort to, but I'd still feel hurt by him. I can't not talk to her either... I think I may have gotten myself into a trap. =/ But you may be right. Patience is virtue. In reality, I have 179 days until she joins me on my vacation to Branson, MO. It would be painful to not have her then. :[ Not to hug or kiss, but to smile and know that such an amazing woman loves me as much as I do. And I know I can't force love.

I_love_Inuyasha1

Nice to see you, Bleu.
Well man, I don't know what to say to help (I'm not really good with that sort of thing) but it sounds like if her current boyfriend is an a*****e, the relationship won't last long. Also, it's an EX, and usually no matter how circumstances have changed, exes don't usually succeed the second time around.
She SAID she wants to try again, so I would maybe give her some space because you don't want to be a pest. So, just try waiting it out.
Also, I kinda know how it feels to be in this situation...
So yeah, that's all I've got. Sorry I can't be any more helpful...

Well, their first relationship died when he left her for an apparent, "ho." The guy got upset at me for suggesting that he not cuss or act too perverted towards her and he got into a stupid internet argument with me. He lied to me that he was the reason why she broke up with me and that our relationship was a lie. He also thinks that everything I know about a relationship comes from, in exact grammar, dr.phil... >_>; She got angry at him and said she'd never forgive him, but she wasn't going to punish him... =/ You were helpful, Inuyasha. Thank you. I think I the first thing I'll do is back off, while I try to make her things to give her as she tries to get closer to me.

 

[Ribbin]

It's definitely a shitty situation, and there's really not too much you can do about it. Just give her space, if it's meant to be, then it'll happen. [/cliche]  

[BleuP]

Yeah. You're right. One of her friends told me to just give up, but I can't. I promised her that I'd never leave her, and she said that after she's through with that jerk, she would take me back. But then again, she won't take me back if I don't make her happy and give her space. I just hope 179 days is enough.  

[Owwin]

179 days? Why that specific amount of time? That sounds like apocalypse talk.  

[BleuP]

xDD It's 179 days until July 4th. That's when I record our first date being. And she might go on vacation with me around that time. it's only an estimate. My family doesn't know the week.  

[Hobo Scruffy]

You are smothering her with attention. It's not cute when a guy does that after a girl tells him to back off. Do you know why she broke up with you and why she likes him? You seemed too perfect to her. And he seems like "a jerk". If he breaks her heart, she would get over it, but if you ever broke her heart.... she never would. sad Trust us, you just need to give her some space. This might sound strange to you, but sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing. Is any of this making sense to you..? :/


*hug*
Welcome back Bleu.~ : )  

[BleuP]

Thanks, Scruffy! This makes a lot more sense. :3 This is the best way I've been told the situation. All along, I've been thinking that if I continue showing her affection and whatnot, that it would make her happy and want to take me back. I've also been thinking that with this other guy's attitude, that she'd eventually get tired of him and that he'd hurt her badly like he's done before and she'd be in horrible pain.

So now that she believes that I wouldn't harm her, I should give her space, like all of you, and her (._.) said, and just be there as a friend to her, and be there for support.

Thank you everyone. :3 I don't know what I'd be without you all. I've gotten so depressed that I've even had sabotaging ideas. Dx I promised her that I'd never leave her, and now I see how I must change that promise for us to survive.

*hugs* I hope I can stay, this time. :3

Edit: And maybe a little break away from her and on my video games would be nice too. xD  

[Hobo Scruffy]

bleu_flame

Thanks, Scruffy! This makes a lot more sense. :3 This is the best way I've been told the situation. All along, I've been thinking that if I continue showing her affection and whatnot, that it would make her happy and want to take me back. I've also been thinking that with this other guy's attitude, that she'd eventually get tired of him and that he'd hurt her badly like he's done before and she'd be in horrible pain.

So now that she believes that I wouldn't harm her, I should give her space, like all of you, and her (._.) said, and just be there as a friend to her, and be there for support.

Thank you everyone. :3 I don't know what I'd be without you all. I've gotten so depressed that I've even had sabotaging ideas. Dx I promised her that I'd never leave her, and now I see how I must change that promise for us to survive.

*hugs* I hope I can stay, this time. :3

Edit: And maybe a little break away from her and on my video games would be nice too. xD

That's the spirit, Bleu! n on
Be curtious and friendly. Treat her like you would any other friend of yours. Once this jerk guy shows how much of a jerk he is to her again, she'll miss you and the way you used to treat her. And guess who'll be there for her when she's down? You will! whee You just got to be patient. And in the mean time, as I was about to suggest, you could play some games again! How great would that be? You're welcome, Bleu. I'm glad I could help.~ nwn  

[BleuP]

Hobo Scruffy

bleu_flame

Thanks, Scruffy! This makes a lot more sense. :3 This is the best way I've been told the situation. All along, I've been thinking that if I continue showing her affection and whatnot, that it would make her happy and want to take me back. I've also been thinking that with this other guy's attitude, that she'd eventually get tired of him and that he'd hurt her badly like he's done before and she'd be in horrible pain.

So now that she believes that I wouldn't harm her, I should give her space, like all of you, and her (._.) said, and just be there as a friend to her, and be there for support.

Thank you everyone. :3 I don't know what I'd be without you all. I've gotten so depressed that I've even had sabotaging ideas. Dx I promised her that I'd never leave her, and now I see how I must change that promise for us to survive.

*hugs* I hope I can stay, this time. :3

Edit: And maybe a little break away from her and on my video games would be nice too. xD

That's the spirit, Bleu! n on
Be curtious and friendly. Treat her like you would any other friend of yours. Once this jerk guy shows how much of a jerk he is to her again, she'll miss you and the way you used to treat her. And guess who'll be there for her when she's down? You will! whee You just got to be patient. And in the mean time, as I was about to suggest, you could play some games again! How great would that be? You're welcome, Bleu. I'm glad I could help.~ nwn

Yes! :3 Thank you so much! I couldn't be any happier now! I've been so caught up in trying to get her back, that I left behind who I once was and pushed her away from me. I'll definitely follow this the best I can! And hopefully I can return to the Cult for good and play some of my new Wii games. School sucks. xD  

[teh_n00b_huntr]

Glad hobo had sound advice for you since my Ex left me because of a similar reason. I still don't get why she did but I am over it.  

[Caramel Kisses]

BLEEEEEUUUUU~!!!
*huggles*

Just dropping in to say HI~
(because I'm up so late I can barely FORM a coherent sentence, much less give advice.)  

[BleuP]

@huntr: I'm glad it's not uncommon. I just hope it's not a difficult fix. Dx I'm glad you got over her, though.

@Caramel: :'D Mah city buddeh! Having no advice is alright. :3 I think I have my mind straight now. x3 (I can drive now! >:3 I hate the drivers in The Woodlands, though. D<)